baby has a scottish accent 👑.

RT @neet_sol: The most spiritually advanced people are unemployed.

jon bernthal lookalike contest at my house.

when the dmv clerk asked me “still 130lbs?”

(of the bathtub).

baby said her first multi word phrase today and it was “pull the plug” 😑😑😑.

RT @coldhealing: My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

freebleeding at the dmv.

RT @cosyposter:

every time i feel like im getting too woke the lord expires my drivers license and makes me sit in the DMV for three hours and the xenophobia starts coarsing through my veins again.

do celebrities have to go to the DMV or do they have a separate one.

i haven’t had a rem cycle since mid biden administration.

RT @Howlingmutant0: @Sargon_of_Akkad I don’t know if it’s still this way but as a kid like adults would tell you “oh you HAVE to watch pyth….

RT @_garrettcharles:

RT @CantEverDie: steak n shake to give away over 100,000 labubu.

enough

“sleep when the baby sleeps” never really resonated with me during the newborn phase but now she’s a TODDLER…😴😴😴.

my lawyer was supposed to send a v important document over a week ago and i’ve been stressing like CRAZY only to call them today and get the response of “oops it’s been here since the 15th we just forgot to send it”.