Bench shapiro
@chuck_raw
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-twitter personality- |SA+EP| this is just me attempting to be funny. 25.
casa de timotee
Joined November 2015
Isn't it nice how storms only happen on the weekends now? They never really interrupt Commerce. Got to keep the hamsters on the Wheel
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sleeping on the couch is underrated when it's not for imminent divorce type reasons
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As a boy I always knew I wanted to grow up and use two factor authentication to access fast food reward points on an app
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you go to bed before 3am and you miss wars and presidential coups and shitā¦
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bro, youāre fine. you just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and youāll be fine
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I Photoshop Paddington into a movie, TV show, or pop culture until I forget: Day 1742
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Arriba Los Diablos Rojo !! Gol de Alexis Vega viene! #FinalBotanera
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We donāt get many wins these days, but we will take em when we get em
Trump: If you go to Japan and South Korea and Malaysia, they have a very small car⦠Very small and really cute. Youāre not allowed to build them and I have authorized the secretary to immediately approve the production of those cars.
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The stripper loves me, itās real. The bartender also loves me. Everyone who makes money off me is in love with me and itās real
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Im so glad I won the sperm race so that I can watch this fight in real time ā¤ļøāš©¹
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Taking a $49 Lyft to the airport rn. Thinking about getting a $32 club sandwich and a $15 beer when I get there. Maybe grab a $9 bag of Chex mix for the flight
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Uber sends notifications like "hey want to take an Uber right now?" No thanks, buddy. It's more for when I need to go somewhere
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