Washington admitted to chopping down a tree. Lincoln returned someone's change to them. Who gives a shit? Terrible mythology. Andrew Jackson is where it's at. People were trying to kill that piece of shit every day since he was like 7 and he just wouldn't die.

"Did you know ballet is so grueling that it ruins your body and your mind?" Okay? Then do a different dance lmao. I could do the Mashed Potato and/or The Twist for hours and come out completely unscathed.

Glizzy hat secured

If I order anything I don't want my wife to see (hypothetically a Creature from the Black Lagoon shirt) the mailman comes up like "Creature from the Black Lagoon shirt! Creature from the Black Lagoon shirt! Mam, your idiot husband ordered a Creature from the Black Lagoon shirt!".

In terms of chores I'd rather do the dishes than capture the cattle of the three-bodied giant Geryon.

Bridge Troll: You cannot pass unless you. Me immediately shooting him the nuts with a grenade launcher: Yeah get fucked freak.

Is there any other state that's associated with just one person to the extent Maine is with Stephen King (I suppose this will change depending on Cooper Flagg's career)?.

I see you're carrying two coffees, would you mind giving me one of them? It's for someone else? Well, where are they? It's not that I don't believe you I just would rather see some proof. Could you please pull up a picture of them?.

I went to a party with dentists and they were all eating candy. For them it's more powerful than drugs like cocaine and even methamphetamines.

Do you think O owns its resemblance to 0 or do you think it's terribly embarrassed by it.

RT @ClassicStrips: ZIGGY …2025.Tom Wilson &.Tom Wilson II 07-14

NW for the first time. This is my second MSB (Mary Steenburgen) joint this week

Jack Twist: Well, maybe we could try writing eachother poetry or something. Ennis Del Mar: Hmpf. Why don't we just smash beer cans off each other's heads? I seem to recall that I enjoyed that last time.

Do I have peacock? What does this look like?? India, Sri Lanka, and parts of Nepal, Bhutan, and Bangladesh (the places indigenous to peacocks) lol? Or a menagerie(a collection of wild animals kept in captivity for exhibition) lmao??? Oh the app. Yeah I have that.

RT @captKangol: I love the Karate Kid franchise’s whole after school special type “violence is not the answer”, except for when it is which….

I became famous in 2009 after my performance of “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Misérables on Britain's Got Talent. My rendition silenced the audience and judges, earning me a standing ovation. I've sold more than 25 million albums worldwide and has been nominated for two Grammys.

Have work off tomorrow. Bad night to be a movie with a 5.6 IMDb rating that's currently streaming on Tubi.

RT @malikshareef: @nuggets LOOK AT THE DRIP

Sleepy wife: Would you mind doing me a favor? I don't feel like getting up. Could you go find me a Dragon Ball please?.

Did I just see a fucking anime commercial for a schizophrenia medication.