ella dawson
@brosandprose
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author of BUT HOW ARE YOU, REALLY ( @DuttonBooks , June 2024). sex & culture critic. survivor. she/her. 🏳️🌈
Brooklyn, NY
Joined April 2008
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✨ IT'S HAPPENING! ✨
Come celebrate the launch of my novel BUT HOW ARE YOU, REALLY at
@strandbookstore
on June 4th! I'll be in conversation with my coolest friend
@gaywonk
.
Get tickets:
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It started pouring during a date tonight and I kept waiting for him to take his frustration out on me when we both got soaked, and then I remembered I’m not dating an abuser anymore and the weather is not my fault! I highly recommend dating nice, well-adjusted people.
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true millennial representation right here
Ocasio-Cortez needs to wait for lawmaker salary to kick in to afford DC apartment
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One of my friends has COVID-19 and is in the ICU. He's in his late 20s and not in an at-risk population. I don't know what's going on.
This virus will come for all of us. It doesn't seem like a threat until it's *your* friends texting each other panicked. Take it seriously.
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finally a chaotic evil gay in public office
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I haven't fully formulated this thought because I'm ripping mad, but all this week I've been unable to stop thinking of the 5 years I worked at TED Talks and how the wealthiest members of this society pump up the egos of men like Elon Musk and empower them to wreak havoc.
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Marianne Williamson has implied that people who take antidepressants are weak, that you can cure cancer and HIV with love, and that fat people need to pray more. She’s a heinous wind chime of a human and I’m losing a lot of respect for people praising her right now.
#DemDebate
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Your coworkers are not your family.
Your office is not your community.
Your manager is not your friend.
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As a woman who was once a 24-year-old social media manager running accounts for a brand with millions of followers, I just don't agree that joking about a domestic violence trial is a normal mistake to make, whatever your age. That's not a lesson you should have to learn.
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asking me to be sympathetic to a teenage boy who showed naked photos of his girlfriend to people at a party and faced social consequences?? in 2022?? really now??
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always unsettling to press play on my favorite progressive podcasts and hear ads for diet products, surveillance state technology, and the mental health app that manages to exploit both therapists and patients
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I’m trying not to feel bitter toward folks who are just now realizing they were fooled by Johnny Depp and his misinformation campaign, but it’s hard to grant people grace. Survivors were begging you to see the facts for what they were. We were begging you to believe us.
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I don't know what co-dependent teenage girl needs to hear this, but you should dump your boyfriend who makes "ironic" racist jokes. He's not doing it ironically.
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TIRED: "Cis men don't know where the clitoris is."
WIRED: "The clitoris isn't hard to find. A lot of cis men just don't care about their sexual partner's pleasure, and society lets them off the hook by making cis women's bodies into mysterious, impossible puzzles."
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do I think King Charles is dead? no. do I think it's hilarious that the Royals have lost all public trust in their word? yes.
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russell brand? releasing a video saying the allegations against him are part of a massive media conspiracy? when we don't even know what the allegations are yet? that's the good stuff
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Yeah, that's why we were all fucking crying on election night.
When Trump became President could you EVER imagine him causing this much harm to our country?
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THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY DOESN'T KNOW THAT THE ONION IS SATIRE. AND JUST RETWEETED THEM MOCKING HIM.
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In the wake of unsealed documents from the Depp v. Heard defamation trial, folks have been posting their regrets about believing Johnny Depp and mocking Amber Heard. If you too are waking up, here are some questions I suggest that you explore in good faith. 🧵
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As a writer, I don't worry about being canceled. I worry about publishing something ignorant, betraying my audience, and accidentally using my platform to perpetuate hurtful ideas and societal structures. I worry about failing to be a responsible and curious author and citizen.
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Elon Musk is not a genius. He passes off the work of others as his own, he treats his employees like garbage, and he has the impulse control of a teenager. He will thoughtlessly chase his whims until Twitter is a burning shell of what it once was and it'll only take a few weeks.
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I don’t know what CEO with a ~clever idea~ needs to hear this, but don’t give your staff a ridiculous present they don’t need as a holiday bonus. Just give them cash. People need cash.
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I’ve seen some tweets from left wing folks arguing that the Depp/Heard trial is a celebrity tabloid mess and we should be focusing on the real issues right now.
The country is going to shit. You’re not wrong. But we need to talk about this trial, too. Here's why.
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honey wake up, a new late stage capitalism just dropped
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This law bans abortions after 6 weeks, which is too early for most people to know they're pregnant. This is appalling, and a clear assault on women's rights.
BREAKING: Iowa Gov. Kim Reynolds signs into law the strictest abortion regulation in the nation.
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I'm baffled by people tweeting in support of Evan Rachel Wood who say she's ~not another Amber Heard~ and that ERW is actually credible.
Y'all know that Johnny Depp and Marilyn Manson are best friends, right? Y'all know that Manson has learned from Depp's strategy?
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I'm glad we're finally having a conversation about how when abusive men go to therapy, they have their abusive mindsets validated and learn new tools and language to gaslight and control their partners.
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This trial isn’t a criminal case deciding Johnny Depp’s innocence or guilt. It’s a defamation case that will rule on whether or not Amber Heard and other victims of abuse are allowed to speak up. And it’s creating a legal playbook for other abusers to silence their victims.
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Love bombing is when your partner lavishes you with praise, showers you with gifts, needs your constant attention, ignores and dismantles your boundaries, pressures you for “romantic” early commitments, convinces you that you are soulmates, and manipulates you into codependency.
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In case you felt the Earth shake, that was Elizabeth Warren tearing Bloomberg's face from his body.
#DemDebate
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Brad Pitt fans want him to pursue legal action against his ex-wife, Angelina Jolie.
Precedent has been set.
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Ashton Kutcher's organization conflates consensual sex work with sex trafficking, so consent seems to be a confusing topic for him
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I call out TED directly for lionizing Musk because I worked there and I was complicit in it. I helped script the social media videos of his four (four!) TED Talks during which he made ridiculous false claims of his "inventions." Remember his tunnels that would end traffic?
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A red flag: When your partner loves to "debate" you and these conversations leave you feeling embarrassed, frustrated and stupid. That's not a debate and that's not a conversation, that's your partner demeaning you.
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Interns don't run the social media accounts of major corporations, especially not in the middle of a communications crisis.
I will gladly die on this hill, as a senior social media staffer who has worked late into the night writing apology tweets one by one from a brand account.
Somewhere in a modest apartment in New York City, Con Ed's social media intern just kicked over his bong and is trying to find his pants.
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Here's some of the best advice I got when I became a manager last year! It's simple, but considering most people receive no management training whatsoever these days, it's better than nothing. Thread!
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TED continued to uphold and celebrate Musk long after he started engaging in batshit public behavior, from calling people "pedophiles" to peddling transphobic jokes. TED ignored the stories of racial and gender discrimination coming out of Tesla and SpaceX.
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The HIV/AIDS community would like to have a serious word with anyone spouting this terrible take.
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I am embarrassed that I once celebrated Elon Musk replying to a tweet I posted from the TED account during one of the conferences as a personal career highlight. When you're in your 20s and you work for an org that treats men like Musk like a god, you get swept up in the cult.
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Only a few weeks ago, TED's owner (and a friend of Musk's) wrote a thread defending Musk's purchase of Twitter. That thread aged like milk.
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"I have no doubt that coming off that debate stage, Mike Bloomberg is reaching in his pocket and dropping another $100mil in advertising across this country just to try to erase the memory of what happened on that
#DemDebate
stage."
@ewarren
continuing her murder spree on CNN.
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Every time I had to write a headline for a talk by some rich white guy who decided he was going to cure all the diseases in Africa after he took one trip there, I wanted to gouge my eyes out.
A lot of what shook out of TED over the long run was rich people talking to other rich people about how the wealthy were the solution to the world's problems and not the cause of them.
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I was literally shivering on the L train platform waiting for my date to snap at me because his shoes got wet and instead he showed me some funny tweets on his phone and asked what I wanted to eat for dinner
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out of all the awful republicans in congress, santos is my favorite. he’s a great addition to this season’s cast of characters. can’t wait to see his plot arc.
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I’m still discovering ways in which I lived my life sensitive to my partner’s comfort and mood over my own for years on end.
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Thank you,
@HillaryClinton
, for reading. I'm incredibly moved. To be accurate, I'm ugly crying.
#ImWithHer
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Scent is a powerful trigger for victims of abuse. For years, smelling my ex’s cologne randomly in public sent me into a PTSD spiral. This is so evil.
Johnny Depp's lawyer Camille Vasquez admitted in a panel this week that during the 2022 trial she had a female member of his legal team spray Depp's cologne in the court toilets used by Amber Heard to wage "psychological warfare" against her. Do you know how fucking evil that is?
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She's right.
Amber Heard is speaking out for the first time since the trial:
“Even if you think I’m lying, you still couldn’t tell me … that you think on social media there’s been a fair representation. You cannot tell me that you think that this has been fair."
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I've been so scared to talk about my experiences working at TED because I worry about retaliation, and TED as a brand has become so irrelevant that it hardly matters anymore. But that organization has been careless since its inception about who it platforms.
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To anyone beating themselves up for not being more productive this week: WE JUST WITNESSED AN ATTEMPTED FUCKING COUP. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. SCREW YOUR DEADLINES.
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I’ll be honest, the Barbie discourse is boring. Yeah, it promotes a product. Yeah, there are stories worth telling that aren’t IP. But the movie looks fun and the world is depressing enough and I can’t be upset about this, I just don’t care.
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THE ENTIRE POINT OF A LITTLE FREE LIBRARY IS FOR PEOPLE TO TAKE THE BOOKS AND NOT RETURN THEM.
THAT IS WHY IT IS FREE.
After some thefts from little libraries in our city, officers and staff came together to donate a bunch of books to the libraries. Now people can use and enjoy them again! 📚📖
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Olivia Rodrigo said I am 18 years old and I will ruin every man who has wronged me
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In light of Ellen absolving Kevin Hart for his history of homophobic remarks, this seems like a good time to reiterate that no one member of a marginalized identity can forgive a bigot on behalf of the entire group.
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I'm just so disgusted. In a matter of days Elon Musk has sewn chaos online. And we warned you! We fucking warned you!
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I don't know who needs to hear this tonight but it is not healthy to hate your partner. It is not healthy to ~occasionally~ hate your partner.
Frustration and annoyance are going to pop up in any long-term relationship, but hatred should not.
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screaming at elon musk trying to befriend nathan fielder
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"Looks like we will be seeing another bisexual woman dragged to court by her older ex to air out dirty laundry and make her look like a Gone Girl-style manipulator on the world stage. I wonder what inspired Pitt to take this kind of legal action?"
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This is not a cute story. Hefner bought the plot next to Monroe to "spend eternity with her" w/out her consent after exploiting her body.
Hugh Hefner Will Be Buried Next to Marilyn Monroe, Playboy's First Cover Star
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The “mutual abuse” claim is especially troubling, as it frames abuse victims defending themselves, or reacting violently after years of being on the receiving end of violence, as just as bad as the abuser’s behavior. It confuses the actual dynamic at play.
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have you ever met someone
who is
just
so bad
at their job
that you can't even be mad
only confused
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Domestic violence experts are scared that this trial will make victims feel less safe asking for help. “I can’t imagine what this might be doing to someone who may eventually want to seek safety and support,” said the CEO of National Coalition Against DV.
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Abusers often use the court system to continue to torment and control their victims after the relationship ends. This trial has trapped Heard in the past, keeps her entangled with Depp, and forces her to relive the worst moments of her life over and over.
I believe her. The pain in her voice is genuine. She’s not that good of an actress to fake this.
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If you want to know more about TED and how it regurgitates the same ideas over and over again in service of the wealthy status quo, read
@AnandWrites
's book Winners Take All.
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When I and several other TED community members came forward about being harassed by TED speaker Adam Foss, I was told that a member of senior leadership at the organization said we were leading a "witch hunt" and a "lynch mob." Adam Foss was later charged with rape.
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I feel like a good way to tell the difference between a Wife Guy and a Guy Who Loves His Wife is how much we actually know about this wife. What's her profession? What are her hobbies? Is she a human being, or is she an object in his act?
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I know content creators have to make money but please stop promoting Noom, BetterHelp, SimpliSafe, and Athletic Greens. It is not morally sound to profit from fatphobia, dubious health claims, worker exploitation, and surveillance capitalism.
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@thedailybeast
You know how y'all like to talk about censorship?
When the government demands that a television show be canceled, that is actual censorship.
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The circus around the Depp/Heard trial will insidiously damage the way we think about and talk about abuse and sexual violence for decades. It will indirectly hurt millions of victims who feel less safe getting help, speaking up, and seeking justice. It hurts all of us.
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I was treated well, relatively speaking, at TED. I had a lot of career opportunities and mentors. I am still close with my co-workers. But my privilege as an upper class white woman shielded me. That place deserves a documentary.
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lmao
@jk_rowling
gurl you gotta be more careful with your transphobic copy/pastes while you do marketing for your new children's book!!
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I keep thinking about this exchange from tonight's
#DemDebate
. This is Biden yelling and aggressively gesturing at Warren for not giving him credit for *her* hard work on creating the CFPB. You can see how furious he is, both in how he treats her and in how he laughs at her.
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What unconscious beliefs do you hold about domestic abuse and sexual violence? What do you think motivates victims speak up about their experiences? Are there victims you are more likely to believe than others?
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Honestly all you really need to know about TED is that one year they had a lounge for the VIP attendees and it was decorated with an actual photo of Versailles.
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Because of the trial’s ubiquity on TikTok, kids and teenagers are bombarded by ignorant memes and biased opinions about domestic violence.
What lessons are they absorbing about abuse victims, and about the severity of domestic violence?
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I’m still stunned by the people who I considered friends who slid into my DMs to tell me I was wrong and that I was hurting male survivors of domestic violence by believing Amber Heard. I can’t forgive that. Then again, it’s not like they’ve apologized, either.
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Leave him, sis.
Married couple has dueling 'his and hers' presidential election yard signs
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I do not see how it is ever appropriate for a brand centered on learning a new language to post a snarky comment on a video about a domestic violence. There is no brand strategy in the world where that makes sense, unless your brand is being an irresponsible scumbag.
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A few publications have written about the harassment I received from Depp supporters, and it's so odd to see myself described as an "Amber Heard fan." I don't think I've ever seen her work. I'm not a fan. I'm a culture critic who wrote about her trial.
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I also believe Heard because multiple courts in the UK decided her story was credible, and that The Sun didn't libel Depp when they called him a "wife beater". A judge found that 12 of the 14 alleged incidents of domestic violence had occurred.
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Depp chose to sue Heard in Virginia, even though they both live in California. Legal experts think he did so to take advantage of weaknesses in the state’s anti-SLAPP law, which ironically is supposed to protect free speech.
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Ross Dothan's NYTimes column about "The Redistribution of Sex" is a great example of why people who are not well-versed in sexuality as a field should not be writing about topics as fraught as incels and their violent demands of more sexual gratification from women.
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I'm also gonna leave this here. TED made a lot of noise about how it's now trying to protect conference attendees from sexual harassment, but there was never a real conversation about sexual harassment within the company.
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nonconsensual sharing of nude photos is a type of sexual violation/assault
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finding out my ex showed naked photos of me [that he took without my consent] to his bros was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. I was 21. if I'd been a teenager, hell, I don't think I would have recovered from that for years and years
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Hey friends, I'm logging off for a few days. I knew writing about the Depp trial was poking the bear, and I knew it would get ugly. The harassment is tearing scabs off of wounds that were only just beginning to heal. The best thing I can do for myself is leave this space.
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I turned off replies for this thread because as a survivor, I don't want to debate this.
I do not believe Heard just because she is a woman. I believe her because she has a strong case. There is good, unbiased reporting that I encourage you to read. VICE has done a great job.
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Here's TED uncritically helping Elon Musk whitewash his reputation in spring 2022.
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Be on the right side of history this time. Believe and support Evan Rachel Wood, as well as Marilyn Manson's many other victims.
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I'm not gonna drag the specific girl running the Duolingo accounts, because she's going through hell right now, but I do have words for the (mostly white male) social media thought leaders coming to her defense and calling this a teachable moment.
Should we NEED to be taught?
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Hey media! Incels are the new Gamergate. Are you going to mess this up again? Are you going to laugh them off as a weird curiosity with valid ideas to explore, or are you going to recognize them as a hate movement that has *already* inspired multiple murders?
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Men really don’t realize how common sexual harassment is, do they?
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Meanwhile, Johnny Depp fans have begun to harass other victims. They’re circling the wagons around Marilyn Manson, who is a prolific abuser and rapist, as well as Depp’s friend. And he is also suing his victim, Evan Rachel Wood, for defamation.
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This case is about more than two celebrities. It has completely taken over the internet and warps our understanding of abuse in ways that hurt victims right now. YouTubers, TikTok creators, and even Etsy sellers are chasing the trend and cashing in.
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I finally identified why I find this Caitlin Flanagan piece disturbing.
It makes me profoundly sad that some women of an older generation judge younger women for expecting better treatment by men. That they dismiss us as weak or stupid for demanding more than what they had.
The allegations of sexual misconduct against
@AzizAnsari
amount to "3,000 words of revenge porn,"
@CaitlinPacific
argues
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