this is a public service announcement for everyone to remember to revise their assignments before handing them in

Every week I don’t think tell me lies can become any more of a humiliation ritual for Lucy and every week I am proven wrong

man I cannot wait it to irrationally angry about a baseball game in March

why do I have to live in a reality where groundhogs are meteorologists

when i crash out it's fuck everybody even me

Shohei Ohtani (.282): “Greatest of all time” “no one like him” “Best to ever do it” Punxsutaweny Phil (.390): “Fraud” “Washed” “No believes him anyways”

our nations have never been so divided

The European mind can’t comprehend slightly prophetic groundhogs

Peak Canadian patriotism 🇨🇦

Defund Punxsutawney Phil.

I don’t normally hate, but when I do, it comes from a place of ethics, nuance, and critical analysis

i got that dog in me (it yearns to be euthanized)

Aliens (completely bewildered): so the groundhog Me: is clairvoyant, yes

there’s baseball this month

soft launching the panic attack i am going to have later

i have personality dysmorphia people are always telling me that i am sweet and kind and an angel when in my head. i affectionately consider myself a huge bitch

me saying “i miss baseball! i miss baseball!” just for me to act like this during the season

League saw Paul George do this in 2026 and said wait a minute

Where’s the lie? #TheTraitorsUS

.@50cent get your messy ass up Chile 😭😭😭😭

maybe in another life i punched that bitch