cool dad
@bradzyy
Followers
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
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Black Lives Matter. she/her. atheist. Auburn alumna. Do not DM me unless you cashapp: eeb00178
Bostonia
Joined March 2009
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Last Seen Profiles
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My mom looked over my resume a few years ago and gasped that I included my volunteering with planned parenthood, because what if the jobs I applied to didn’t like that? I told her I didn’t want to work at places that don’t. And I never have.
If you miss out on a job opportunity because you stood on the right side of history, that job was a shitty job and you deserve better. Protect your legacy, protect your humanity
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@eddieslostsheep
@ask_aubry
The fact that the doctor didn’t offer this first and instead went to prenatal care made me sick to my fucking stomach. This is the
#postroe
time we are in.
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Hi can I get a guy who is kind and smart and funny and not racist and not sexist and likes cats please?
Cashier: Ma’am this is a Wendy’s
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@Noorthevirgo
My parents don’t acknowledge that they were traumatized. Neither do their siblings. So strange to me. They tell “funny” stories and my cousins and I are like .. that was abuse.
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@deadeyebrakeman
Tbh this news is the only common-ground interest I have with my trumper dad in years so I am milkinggggg ittttt
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I was offered full-time hours at this new position. Goodbye retail and idiot customers; hello remote work in sweats, routine and a steady paycheck. 😌
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Dancing around the kitchen in booty shorts and a crop top bc I finally feel good about myself again
and OH YEAH YA GIRL SECURED AN APARTMENT
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@thedailybeast
@attackerman
Well he WAS 88 so who cares. Oh sorry I was just giving the same energy I received when my grandpa died of covid 🥰
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happy thursday i got my first speeding ticket then found out my coworker is getting fired for having sex with a convicted felon in restricted areas of the building. it’s not even noon so i can’t wait to see how the rest of the day goes.
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Someone stole my parents' Trump/Pence sign. I wish this person a lifetime of peace and happiness.
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Tonight at trivia they had prizes for (among other things) anyone wearing red undies & anyone with a dick pic on their phone.
I won both of those prizes.
But not before I saw my friend’s parents whom I’ve known for 10 yrs sitting in the audience.
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EXCUSE ME DID I JUST SEE .
@alyssalimp
in a LAYS COMMERCIAL. HELL YES GIRL GET YOUR BAG (of chips!!)
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Biggest lesson I learned from this year - use it. Wear the nice clothes. Eat off the plates you wanted for a “special occasion” on a Wednesday. Burn the fancy candle. It’s all. Just. Stuff. Use it if it makes you happy. If it’s taking up unnecessary space, throw it out or donate.
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@laewier
@AlexandrovnaIng
Glad you recognize this is an opinion and actually the opposite of fact:
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27
I’m speaking with my boss about a raise tomorrow so everyone pls pls pls send any good vibes you can my way
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My mom left me a voicemail when I was out last night. I quote: “Em. It’s 10. Where are ya. Pls let me know.”
1. I’m 25
2. My younger brother disappears for hours on end & both my parents are like 🤷🏻♀️
3. I was in AL for 4.5 years & they never knew what I was up to
4. IM FUCKIN 25
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I’m 28 in 15 days. I’m thankful:
1. To have made it to 28.
2. To have a salaried job with a company run by a badass woman who matches my 401k.
3. To live on my own.
4. For my family and friends.
5. For antidepressants.
6. That my boobs are still perky.
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Listen I just did a tiktok and my ass looks NICE so FUCK my ex who told me it needed to be fATTER
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I have pretty eyes, amazing tits and anyone would be lucky to have me.
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It has taken me 27 years to finally see myself as others see me. And I’m a hot girl.
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can't wait to b a parent & poll u guys to see if i'm a bad mom for being ok w my daughter punching sarah from 3rd period for being a bitch
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funny how u and the other young suburban moms complained for years to get sidewalks in our neighborhood for the safety of ur children and u r now jogging with headphones on in ur lulu lemon yoga pants and nike flexes with ur two-child stroller and three dogs in the STREET, jen.
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Talked it over with my mom. In about a month I will be moving to Boston and leaving all of this bullshit behind.
Posting it to hold myself to it.
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merry christmas i just opened a cock ring in front of my boyfriend’s grandmother and mother
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Today I:
Worked out
Worked on my freelance project
Redid my nails and toes
Finished three chapters of my book
Tried a jeans hack I’ve had on the back burner
Applied to two apartments
Applied to two jobs
Aaaaand still had time to pet my cat!!
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I just want to wear sexy lingerie for someone and actually have them appreciate what I look like in it
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hello and welcome to another episode of “does that car have their brights on or did they drive over a bump”
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fuck a sugar daddy to buy me jewelry and clothes. i need a sugar daddy to pay my student loans.
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After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.
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parents who say “i know my kid and they would NEVER” crack me up. like i post half naked pics on the twitter and my mom’s bff’s daughter has a secret bf of three years. your kid WOULD.
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Unsure how the extra $600 is going to deter people from going back to work when the coronavirus is literally deterring people from going back to work
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a year ago, i was jobless, depressed, anxious & in a toxic relationship.
today i started an internship, & am happy & free.
life gets better.
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thank you to my friends at collective co apparel for making me look sexy
#notyourhoney
#collectivecoapparel
#collectiveco
#collective
#apparel
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#nowthatimsingle
my mom is telling every guy with a pulse "oh you drink water? what a coincidence so does my single daughter"
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I was away from my computer getting coffee and my boss tried to call me. I hate looking like I’m not working so I immediately called back, apologized & explained. She said, “Em, we’re working from home. There are a hundred reasons you could be away from your desk. It’s fine.” 🥺
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If I can get my teaching license in a reasonable amount of time, I’d like to teach online literacy. Only a few of us learned and it’s not enough to outweigh the influence of older and younger idiots
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This is my mom. Any guy who breathes, she tells them I’m single. The most recent was a guy she’s never met, someone she orders parts from for her job. She goes “Look him up on Facebook. He’s 25 and I know him as Wayne but he said he goes by Knuckles online.”
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Holy shit guys ... I haven’t felt this confident, secure or in control in years.
I
Feel
Incredible
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Got drunk and called someone on my town’s community event forum a racist whoops
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I’ve worked chaotic shift jobs for 11 years.
When I say I want the 9-5 life, I mean it.
I am desperate for routine.
For stability.
To use my degree I worked so hard for.
For tasks that don’t hurt my body.
I get that that way of life isn’t for everyone, but I want it. So badly.
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I’ve stopped signing my emails with “pls let me know if I can assist with anything else.” Do not ask me to do anything else pls
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license was stolen w my wallet.
i read that to replace it i just need proof of id- my info was logged, pic & all.
at dmv: unshowered, no makeup & in sweats. was told “that policy’s outdated. u need to take a new pic.”
so i’m stuck w this for 6 years. i call it “unkempt pothead.”
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Actual quote from my date last night: “So you’re obviously very pretty and very smart…how are you single at 27?”
Idk Matt!! Idk
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These pics are a year old but here’s to hoping I look just as good this summer
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I have not felt this good in an incredibly long time. I missed being happy.
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I wanna pick apples & carve pumpkins & go to trail of terror & drink cider w/ caramel vodka & watch hocus pocus & bake pumpkin muffins & whoever does these things w/ me to be out of my life by christmas so I dont have to buy prezzies then be back in my life in time for a nye kiss
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when you accidentally like a guy's facebook status from 2010
TWO THOUSAND TEEENNNNN.
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It’s Sunday and I just got a video of my mom riding a mechanical bull
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Fuck anyone who says your degree is worthless because it’s in liberal arts.
All of our degrees are worthless because college is a scam and it’s all about who you know when it comes to getting a job.
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