Sometimes I accidentally tell my 1st graders that they’re acting like children and honestly I applaud them for the fact that nobody has raised their hand and said that’s because we’re 6 years old

Ms. Blumer’s 1st grade class from Foxbank Elementary in South Carolina would like to know how long it takes to get to space ☺️ @NASA_johnson

Live look in at South Carolina’s receivers

I know the whole “eyebrows should be sisters not twins” nonsense but mine are like distant cousins only related by marriage

Apparently it's full on summer still in Australia when it should be autumn, just like it's been winter here when it should be spring. Like Earth, you ok girl? U stuck? Worried about u xoxo

Dogs > dudes

If you say uber eats is pointless/lazy/etc. I would like to take this time to make the official statement that I do not desire to have you in my life

If you see me tomorrow and I have a black eye it’s not because I have some super cool story that makes me sound really BA, bo was aggressively shaking his rope toy and the knot hit me in the face 🙃 Anybody want a dog?

I wonder if my tinder matches know that Im just using them for their dogs

If I had a dollar for every time I had to change a text from an exclamation mark to a period to seem less excessive I’d have lots of dollars 🙃

Today a 6 year old stole my sprite and said he’d give it back to me for 10 dollars.

You know you’re a teacher when you wake up in the middle of the night and your puppy climbed out of the bed and tore apart one of your books and you wear his hind end out saying “you better be thankful that wasn’t a library book” 😐 @bookofthemonth

Me in January after Christmas break: yo I’m bout to be the most extra teacher, what a difference a month can make #newyearnewteach #teachergoals #teachislife Me in March: I lied.

Me as a human

When you don’t have school on Monday

If the rolls eyes emoji ain’t me idk what is

This lady tried to tell me all about layaway options for Christmas gifts and I’m like “the razor scooter is for me, my school is big”

Am I the only one who wishes their dog had a snooze button

Just got this notification as I am in bed on day 3 of having the flu lol @Walgreens I think it is, in fact, too late