Bill Burr
@billburr
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comedian/co-creator of F Is For Family
Joined June 2010
The most insane fucking two minutes I’ve ever seen in an NFL playoff game ever. Not even close! Holy shit.
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You know what’s wrong with this country?…. Just kidding. Enjoy your day.
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Thanks to Lorne, the cast, everyone at @nbcsnl and to the incredible @thirdmanrecords! No words to describe how much fun that experience was!.
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Had a great time as always on the JRE! Best in the business!!!.
“I’m not gonna do this bullshit. I’m not gonna sit here with no medical degree, listening to you with no medical degree, acting like we know what’s up.” - Burr on Rogan. I’m not so sure I’ve ever disagreed with Bill Burr. Like ever. Truly the GOAT .
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No words to describe this experience so here are some photos instead. Thank you to Larry Cancro and Beth Krudys of the Red Sox for believing that it could happen. And thanks, of course, to everyone who showed up! The crowd was incredible!
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RIP @eddievanhalen Thank you for all the incredible music. There was no one like you before or since.
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It took a pandemic, but ESPN is finally gonna give the WNBA the coverage it’s dreamed of.
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If a guest criticizes the dish you made don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Smile, put your hand on his/her and say: “Then don’t fuckin’ eat it.”.
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R.I.P. to a true original @TheRichardLewis An absolutely fearless comedian who did and said what he wanted. 💪🏻.
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The Toronto Maple Leafs are the only team that can make Cleveland Brown fans feel lucky.
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I always loved how effortless @LouieAnderson made stand up look. He could get an applause break with a slight change of expression or a sideway glance. A true master. Thank you for all the laughs and for being so nice. You were one of the greats! Rest In Peace.
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R.I.P. to the absolute master! - Paul Mooney. I learned so much from you.
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Yes, it would’ve been a first down if it wasn’t for the convenient legal motion or the pass interference or the holding or whatever else they can come up with.
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“Yes…the belt is still around my neck…can’t reach my phone…calling from the Apple Watch…”.
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My new special, Paper Tiger, will be available September 10th on @NetflixIsAJoke. shot at Royal Albert Hall. produced by @allthingscomedy and @netflix
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Thanks to The Red Sox, Youk and Dave! I had a great time!.
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The fucking NFL. Score a go ahead TD w/ 39 seconds left. Two plays: the other team is on your 20 kick FG to tie it up. Now I got to die another 1000 deaths in OT. I envy people that are only into comic books.
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Cornerback just celebrated breaking up a pass the way I would celebrate if I were stranded on an island and figured out how to build a boat.
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“He plays on the edge.” = .“He’s a complete POS but he plays for my team.” #NHLplayoffs.
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Rest In Peace Gilbert Gottfried! First time I saw him live he did his Jackie Kennedy bit: “Jackie do you remember where you were…” in front of drunk Bruins fans at Nicks. #RIPGilbertGottfried.
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Slacks make you aware of your mortality. A tracksuit makes you feel like you’re going to live forever.
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Congrats to the Buffalo Bills. I hope you guys get it this year. They built a great team out there.
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RIP Bill Withers. Thank you for some of the greatest music ever recorded.
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If you walk more than three strides without your cane touching the ground, I’m looking at it like it’s a weapon.
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R.I.P Bob Uecker!!! One of the greatest personalities/broadcasters in sports history! One of the last guys from those iconic Miller Lite commercials. #ripbobuecker.
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Six NFL playoff games followed by the NCAA Football championship tomorrow is how you make a quarantine work.
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If you try and board before your group is called you will be forced to travel by train for no less than eight months. #DictatorBurr #MMP.
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I'm doing a Reddit A.M.A. tomorrow(Friday) at 1:30PM. I want to thank everyone in advance for their respectful and mature inquisitions.
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King of Staten Island trailer!.
Trailer’s here. Pete Davidson is #TheKingOfStatenIsland. ❤️ this tweet to get a reminder when The King of Staten Island is available on demand June 12.
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Really happy to announce there will be a season 3 of FIFF. Thanks to everyone for watching! @netflix .#FIsForFamily #gaumontTV
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Fuckin LeBron James. Unreal. Funny thing is people will still trash him. Congrats to the Cavs. Future is bright for the Celtics.
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St Louis played a masterful Game 7 on the road no less. First Stanley Cup championship ever. Finally avenged the Mother’s Day loss from 49 years ago. Congrats to all the diehards in St Louis.
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Has an adult ever won a game of chess against a child in a movie ever?.
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Congrats to Mike Vrabel and the Tennessee Titans! Holy Shit!!!!.
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Doing a bungee cord jump, in a mascot uniform, while making minimum wage is what Florida is all about.
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I think Bill‘s fans are forgetting Tom Brady is still out there swimming in the water. You guys are on a collision course with him and he’s going to shut your city down like he’s been doing since Bill Clinton forgot where is humidor was.
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FIFF is coming back for a 4th season!!!!.
BREAKING NEWS!
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Ole Billy Showbiz with a fuckin’ tease-AHHH! Big announcement tomorrow on Twitter.
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What do analytics say about the momentum shift of not kicking a field goal, going for it on fourth down and turning the ball over versus the upside of making the first down?.
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I need more close ups of the Eagles head coach. Cause I’m always wondering how he’s feeling about every play.
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Hockey.
David Krejci loses a tooth after a big hit, ex-Bruin Johnny Boychuk returns it to the Boston bench
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I’ve seen 9 touchdown celebrations and the score is still 0-0.
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Can’t thank @MayaRudolph and @JimCarrey enough for crushing it and being so nice. The EVH tribute. Night of my life!.
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Absolute legend!.
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Congratulations to the Chiefs. Condolences to the Bills fans. Wow.
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Hahaha!.
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Teams that were pumping crowd noise into their stadiums were ahead of their time.
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My favorite boxer. My favorite era. My favorite division. Rest In Peace Champ! #MarvinHagler
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I wish the refs could make up their minds as to which team they want to win this game.
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I just thought this old dude was having a heart attack but he was just reaching for something in his pocket.
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When you’ve been dealing with mosquitoes, you don’t mind flies. (This is not a metaphor).
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Strippers just lost a lot of money in Tampa. Congrats to the Rams!.
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“We need to play a physical game to slow them down.” =.“We’re going to injure all their top players until they suck as bad as we do.” #NHLplayoffs.
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