Dwayne Schrute
@baznirikarby
Followers
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Following
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SIX YEARS!!! Celebrating happiness, sobriety and peace of mind for six years now!!!.
A year ago today, I broke up with the single most toxic human I have ever met. Today, I am celebrating all the good things I thought I didn’t deserve back then that I am so lucky to have now. 😊😊😊.
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People don’t talk nearly enough about the fine line between a strong mom and a toxic one. 🥴
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“I’m sad that one day my baby boy will get married to someone he loves more than me.” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩GIRL. PLEASE GO SEEK A THERAPIST SO YOUR FUTURE DAUGHTER IN LAW WONT HAVE TO.
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Me but it’s at the drive thru window of a fast food restaurant.
I need the entire airport security staff to be obsessed with how swift and low maintenance I am.
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RT @LaurenCoker99: What’s it called when you’re introverted but have taken on numerous leadership and outgoing roles your whole life? 😂.
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All you have to do to save money is listen to so much of @GrahamStephan that you’re conditioned to physically get sick every time you even look at a Starbucks.
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Nothing makes me more mad as a mom than Facebook ads marketing “cute and affordable” baby clothes and I click the link and the cheapest thing there is a $30 onesie. Maybe that’s affordable for Mark Zuckerberg, but it ain’t me. #momlife.
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RT @ogm4xb_: if i die all my boys got permission to say “on my dead homie” and then tell a lie.
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RT @eeberquist: instead of a sticker you should get a hot dog when you vote. this is supposed to be america.
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12 days PP my first family member ask me when to expect our second. Told them that as of right now that H will be our only to which she promptly responds “well you’re not a real parent until you at least have two.” I’m confused??The spit up in my hair tells me I’m a mom already.
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Every time Taylor Swift finds out Blake Lively is pregnant.
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Where were you in the world when Tennessee beat Alabama?.
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RT @richvillodas: Successful ministry at the expense of a failed marriage is not successful ministry.
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I just found out that me and my husband have the same wedding anniversary as @BarackObama and @MichelleObama, so that’s pretty exciting!.
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Just put Ariel Fulmer and Pete Davidson hooking up on my 2023 Bingo Card.
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