Andrew Keates
@andrewkeates
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Theatre Director • Acting Coach • Artist • Artistic Director of @ArionProds .
London, England
Joined April 2009
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Oooh, the photos of this house look nice, in fact, I’d quite like to live here...
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!
WHAT IS THIS PLACE AND WHAT USED TO HAPPEN HERE?!?!?
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Ask yourself, in years to come, do you want to take your kids to the theatre, or a Wetherspoons that used to be a theatre?
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But I want to get in the yuzu hot bath with the capybaras... 🥺
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He has been with me thorough everything. But today I had to say goodbye to my Toby Page. I am utterly, utterly broken.
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This story has crippled me. Children around the world should be introduced from day one to society’s rich tapestry of diversity and to greet LGBT+ children with love and acceptance, especially at school. I’m so sorry for the family of
#JamelMyles
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Best response I’ve ever heard in American politics from
@ewarren
about whether marriage should be between a man and a woman.
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My little heart needed this after a tough day defending the performing arts. Here’s Buddy Rich, Roy Castle and an iconic surprise guest at the end (I don’t want to spoil it)... Watch it all and tell me the arts don’t matter.
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Please take note.
• ‘En route’ not ‘On route’.
• ‘Scapegoat’ not ‘Escape Goat’.
• ‘On tenterhooks’ not ‘tender hooks’.
• ‘Whet your appetite’ not ‘wet’.
• ‘To all intents and purposes’ not ‘to all intensive purposes’
• ‘Specifically’ not ‘Pacifically’.
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Watching Donald O'Connor in Singin’ In The Rain should be compulsory viewing at every drama school in the country, regardless of whether or not you’re studying Musical Theatre.
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Actual text message conversation.
Friend: Imagine if Freddie Mercury & David Bowie dueted together!?!
Me: They did. The song was called Under Pressure - one of the most famous songs ever written.
Friend: If you tweet about this I will kill you.
Me: Who wants to live forever.
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A sad moment as the UK flag is taken down in the EU Council building, with the EU treating our flag with respect and decorum rather than the pissed thugs who are currently burning EU flags in Parliament Square.
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For once
#NorthKorea
state news appears to be delivering honest, factual news.
"No-one can predict when the lunatic old man of the White House, lost to senses, will start a nuclear war!"
#Trump
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"I hope this email finds you well."
How the email found me:
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It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a more powerful, and clearly iconic magazine cover.
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Princess Diana shook hands with patients who had HIV/AIDS to show you cannot pass the virus on through touch. Covid-19 is NOT the same. Please can we stop wheeling Edwina Currie or Ann Widdicombe out and spouting their utter nonsense.
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I will now only accept self-tapes that have cats in them. Thanks for sharing
@WesleyRyann
. Your Bengal is wonderful!
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I’m not a fan of football, but I know who
@MarcusRashford
is. He’s the young man who fought to feed children properly in the UK by lobbying government and inspiring national change. The man is a hero, who happens to be a footballer too.
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I may be gay, but give me an evening with a wise, older woman with a wicked sense of humour over a night with a stupid young man with an Instagram account any day.
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“Don’t associate yourself with toxic people. It’s better to be alone and love yourself than be surrounded by people who make you hate yourself”.
- Robin Williams
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Everyone is talking about opening our theatre bars. It’s a good idea, but a better idea is to install large bars on our iconic stages and drink in our auditoriums whilst we’re closed. Much larger customer capacity, and I for one, would love to do a shot on every West End stage.
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I love Waitress, Come From Away, Dear Evan Hanson & many of the other Broadway shows we’ll have. But I’m a little blue that our West End will have more musicals that were nurtured in the USA than our own home-grown shows. Come on Britain, let’s invest in UK Musical Theatre.
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An actor will face more rejection in a year than some will experience over a lifetime.
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Actors are extraordinary. The impressiveness of their resilience is often only matched by their capacity for empathy. They experience more rejection in a year than most do in a lifetime. Fundamentally they are creatures of words, truth, expression and exquisite observation.
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For anyone in the UK, If you text ‘SHOUT’ to 85258 when you are in a dark place or suicidal, a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great If you find talking on the phone challenging. It’s completely free 24/7.
Please RT, you never know who might need this support
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Growing up as a boy, me and my mum used to watch ITV crime dramas with a cheese, crackers, gherkins and pickled onions. I realise now it’s because she was so broke that she couldn’t afford dinner. And yet, at 34 here I am happily eating the same feast watching A Touch Of Frost.
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Theatre is NOT back. We must celebrate that many of the large West End houses are operating at about 50% capacity, but most freelancers & the vital creative workhouses, fringe & regional venues are still suffocated - the very lifeblood of extraordinary theatre is still clotted.
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It’s been a month since I lost my beloved
#TobyPage
. And nothing could replace him. However, coming home to an empty flat has been some of the worst weeks of my life. And I still have the capacity to love and nurture. So tomorrow, I will finally bring home, little Stevie.
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Anyone belittling these performers having a job, is either so successful they should know better, or finding a way to make themselves feel better at their expense due to their own insecurities. It’s nearly Xmas, in London they’re all just trying to earn a living. And it’s tough.
‘Leading Role they said. West End location they said.’
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Just heard that everyone at Mamma Mia (West End) have been laid off. I’m so sorry for everyone involved. It’s so unfair & many will be facing emotional & financial despair. Please remember this and their hardship over whether you like the show or not.
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I am HIV+, I cannot pass the virus on and I will live a long and healthy life; but only because I got tested. If you don’t know your status, you could be putting yourself and others at risk. Give HIV the finger by ordering a free HIV home testing kit at
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I love Soho. Normally, I’d spend most of my week on these streets at many different venues. Of course, there was a temptation to visit it tonight, but instead I stayed home, made bread and popped on a movie. It would appear I made the right decision.
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#HIV
doesn’t discriminate, whether you’re one of the finest rugby players in the world or a little theatre director like me. It can touch us all. It entered my life in 2013 and by owning my status, like Gareth we are not ashamed of the virus and tackling stigma.
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It’s hard to forgive anyone for voting Tory at the last election, but to do so at the next will be reprehensible.
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One of the most profound things I’ve heard today regarding the Trans community was said by
@IndiaWilloughby
, and forgive me if it’s not the exact quote, but she said “the only time you see us in the media is when we’re having to defend ourselves”. There’s such truth in that.
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Gays, please stop with the petulant tweets about straight people. Being gay does not make us superior, it doesn’t give us license to belittle the passions & values of others, and by doing so makes us no better than the bullies & morons so many of us have endured in our own lives.
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.
@JaneyGodley
is a mum, a friend & a comedian, who uses her craft & wit to satirise unfairness in politics. Nearly every day, I see threats of violence targeted at her by “men”. She calls them out & has thick skin, but it bloody hurts seeing a mate being abused online every day.
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Please can we all share this far and wide so the kids at the back of the class finally get why staying home is so essential?
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Humanity can do extraordinary things when we work together, especially for the vulnerable.
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I want a fuck load of performers and a fuck load of live musicians playing music fucking loudly at my fucking face in a fucking theatre. And I want it fucking now.
Forgive my fucking language.
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Stevie’s first full day at home. He’s found his food and water and is eating happily. He’s definitely a big fan of the many throws and blankets I’ve bought him to snuggle up in. However, his favourite place seems to be my lap.
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I’ve held off saying anything about my new job as I’m aware how many of us are out of work at the moment. But, I hope you’ll be happy for me when I say I’ve joined
@secretcinema
as their newest Performance Director. And it’s an honour to be a part of this phenomenal company 🤫
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I’m often told by straight people that I don’t need to go on about gay issues as everyone’s fine with it now, but here we see another example of homophobic violence toward a young man who felt safe to be himself. The next time I’m told to hush & not to worry; I’ll show them this.
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The Cecily and Gwendolen tea scene from The Importance Of Being Earnest performed by cats.
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I have HIV. But don’t feel sorry for me - I take a pill a day that ensures I cannot pass the virus on & will live a long and healthy life. I got tested and know my status - but do you? Please order your FREE
#HIV
test kit at for
#HIVTestWeek
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Sat in the waiting room at
@56deanstreet
for my annual HIV checkup. It’s days like today when I’m reminded only a couple of decades ago my family would be visiting my grave rather than living the life I’m fortunate enough to have. Please, if it’s been a while, get tested.
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Here’s the best response to anyone who tells you they aren’t getting vaccinated because they are relying on their natural immune system.
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Well, Stevie is home. He seems to have very little interest exploring his new flat, but instead has curled up with me on the sofa and is purring away.
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I’ve done so well, but tonight is the first time I’ve really struggled to see how the fuck I’ll get through this impossible isolation.
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#SeanSpicer
has resigned. The only real loss will be to comedy and
#MelissaMcCarthy
's brilliant impersonations of him on
#SNL
.
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Now America has a proper leader. Please can the UK have one too?
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If you haven’t seen it and fancy a really beautiful, thoughtful little movie about an Android (called Andrew) played by the late, GREAT, Robin Williams opposite Sam Neill (
@twopaddocks
), go watch Bicentennial Man. It’s probably one of my all time favourite movies and soundtracks.
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As we get charged £5 if we cancel an
@Uber
ride, surely it’s only fair our accounts are credited with the same amount if a driver cancels on us too.
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Today’s outfit is inspired by
#FreddieMercury
as today would have been his 73rd birthday. He wore it better.
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I’ve had an MPox vaccination, a sexual health check & received 6 months of meds so I can continue to live with HIV; making it impossible for me to pass the virus on. I am lucky to be a gay man in this country receiving all of this for free, when I could have had a death sentence.
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Whenever I face a crisis, I try to find a solution creatively and doing something I love. So, I decided to create this piece of art, inspired by my favourite
#startrek
moment to help me pay the bills whilst my industry lies decimated. Please support.
🖖
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I’m about to change your life...
Next time you make a mistake when typing on your iPhone, hold the space bar and you can scroll through the letters, rather than trying to select the exact position within the text.
Try it. As I said. It will change your life.
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I’m carrying a lot more weight than I’d like, my hair is a mess and my bank account has definitely seen healthier days. And yet today I went into rehearsal and none of that mattered because I was back with a perfect tribe; fuelled by awe, laughter, goodness and talent.
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Do this immediately.
Type in “The Wizard of Oz” into Google and click on the ruby slippers. You won’t regret it 👠
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Just had a phone call requesting I make a guest appearance on
#GBNews
. As flattering as it is whenever any broadcaster asks for my opinion, I declined, as I will not support a channel that employs so many pedlars of hatred.
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MY TOP SHOWS OF 2021!
- Fucking all of them.
- Any of them.
- If you managed to open or be in a show in the face of this wretched virus and entertain audiences; you deserve the utmost respect.
- And if you didn’t, well done for surviving.
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There have been endless benefits of living on my own during this year, but every now and then, you realise how you haven’t seen a single person in days and feel utterly insignificant and alone.
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Just told Toby I won’t be leaving the flat for about two months.
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#XFactor
. Sadly, by belittling Musical Theatre artists you’re also belittling some of the most successful recording artists of all time, including Barbra Streisand, Liza Minnelli, Alfie Boe, Shirley Bassey, Judy Garland, Idina Menzel, Michael Ball, Colm Wilkinson, Bette Midler...
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I think we all know who we have to call to solve the mystery of
#CaroleBaskin
’s disappearing husband...
#TigerKing
#DontFuckWithCats
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This tweet should probably be consigned to my drafts, but I hope if something comes from today, it’s that some of the major producers in the West End finally withdraw their support for the Conservative Party.
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Every 6 months I go to
@56deanstreet
to ensure I am on the best pill to prevent me passing HIV onto others and to test my blood and organs are all functioning properly. A couple of decades ago I would have died of AIDS. Today, I’m grateful to have the privilege to thrive.
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I turned on my TV this morning &
@GMB
(Good Morning Britain) was on.
@piersmorgan
& his cronies remind me of school bullies, sniggering about issues that they neither have the capacity to understand or find empathy for.
@itvstudios
could & should do much better
#GMB
#PiersMorgan
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As if today couldn’t get any better. So happy I could cry. The end truly is in sight.
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Dear Scotland,
Thank you for having Boris today. We just needed a day off.
Many thanks,
England.
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A human being shares how she was suicidal and even that’s not enough blood to quench the thirst of those who hate her.
#MeghanAndHarry
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There’s such ridicule about people going to
#Primark
. Granted, there are reports of dubious manufacturing processes. But that aside, can we please stop poor shaming people who can’t afford to shop anywhere else? Especially as some children will have outgrown their clothes too.
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Just because you’re making a musical film adaptation, does not mean you have to cast James Corden in a role.
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This cartoon from
@thetimes
should be put straight into a gallery as an iconic artwork of modern times. It is as detailed as it is poignant.
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Tomorrow is
#WorldAIDSDay
. But HIV is in my life every day. I’ve just got back from
@56deanstreet
after a full check-up & collecting 6 months of meds to ensure I won’t die & I can’t pass the virus on. I will always fight the stigma for generations to come & the generation we lost
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I am CERTAIN that
@MrMichaelSpicer
was actually in the other room whilst
@patel4witham
was making this baffling, incoherent and creepily delivered speech. Also, please can someone explain to her the difference between terrorism & counter terrorism?
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Just because we’ve seen an actor who may not have auditioned at their best, does not mean the audition room should remain locked to them from there on. All actors (and creatives) transform in time. Open the door to the historic ‘no’ pile and I bet you’ll find a wealth of talent.
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After the news about the cancelled Heaven On Earth tour & so many now out of pocket. Could someone like
@NimaxTheatres
@RUTheatres
@DMTWestEnd
give them a theatre in town for a Sunday night for free? Let them do a concert & keep the box office takings to help with bills/Xmas.
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London suffers another attack but in
#FinsburyPark
. Only difference is the media not calling it a terror attack because it's by a white guy.
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