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@abdvlahi
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
Criminals thrive on the indulgence of society's understanding.
- Ra's al Ghul Batman Begins (2005)
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people who bring their laptops to cafes are the biggest attention seekers ahhh look at me i’m so busy get a grip
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There’s a guy in Bangladesh somewhere telling ppl he played with Zidane and they’re calling him crazy
17 years ago, Zinedine Zidane visited a small village in Bangladesh 🇧🇩 to play with children
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Jamaican goons in Gotham:
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If you watch the game you won’t see Szoboszlai but if you watch Szoboszlai you won’t see the game either
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Manager getting sacked is one of the best days to be a fan. Closest we will feel to a third world country when a dictator is toppled.
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Giving black john cena gym advice
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there’s always one dude that shows up to Eid Salah dressed up as the Emir of Qatar
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He’s African too imagine telling African parents u wanna be an actor
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No woman should be wearing a high-vis jacket. What are we doing to our queens man
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muslim guys who shorten their name out of convenience are too funny lol i’m not calling you Waj mate pick something else
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Girl could tweet “work was boring” and her designated replyguy would still have something to say
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just realised i have the same routine every week. i’d be so easy to assassinate
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cafes are for playing cards and chilling with the boys not Excel Pivot Tables
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Having a summer birthday as a man is insane. Real men are born amongst the harshest winds of winter
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Skore Beezy & Twista Cheese in the frontlines
I think it’s time to send all the diaspora kids back home and fight for our sea. We goin start with all the ones who have podcast and the rappers.
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Stringer Bell after going to community college:
@ChenRich11
there can be 100 people in a business class,
and all 100 of them can think like employees, and when they leave thats exactly what they’ll become
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I remember when Mkhitaryan couldn’t go to Baku cos he was a national security threat
After watching my team play Bodo Glimt, Dundalk and FC Gynaecology for the last few years. I am shaking your hand off at the chance to play Bayern, City or Madrid at the biggest stage in European football. There is no such thing as an easy draw when you’re in amongst the big
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streamers are basically circus monkeys that work from home. no way anyone over the age of 12 watches this
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“UK muslims are extremists” and the extremism is fasting and praying loool
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I wouldn’t post my wife even if she went missing. Police just gonna have to use their imagination I’m afraid.
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Never ask a woman her age, a man his salary and Bayern Munich what their club logo was from 1938-45
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Assassinating my boy when he misses my birthday dinner
If niggas acted how females act in friendships, the murder rate would be much higher. You bitches are insufferable
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American Muslims vs UK Muslim twitter is actually proxy war between American south Asians & UK south Asians . Many such cases
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Bossman hal mar igu dhufo
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Wenger didn’t even get sacked they just took him out back and put him out of his misery 😭
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i’ve never seen a club lack so much aura omds
Liverpool latest: Xabi Alonso now unlikely to feature on final shortlist to replace Jurgen Klopp.
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this is what The Hound used to eat in game of thrones
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I’ll be so real I ain’t kissing no kalb. He’s gonna have to firm that
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women are the biggest consoomers they carrying the economy on their back bruh
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“Let’s save Martinelli for Porto”
Martinelli last time he played Porto:
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“Eating you up” and the whole time its just a guy having a logical response
y’all ever argued w a nigga and he actually eating yo ass up ? i hate them kind 😭😭😭😭😭
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Every time i hear that Sneako fella speak i realise why previous generations used to gatekeep the pursuit of knowledge
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Just put my fries in the bag bro
I WILL REBUILD THE ISLAMIC CALIPHATE.
mark my words.
inshallah, whether I get assassinated or I succeed.
it's a win-win situation.
jannah destination.
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Niggas using “comedy” as a front to cross-dressing. Verily your condition is known.
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My parents send money back home but that tradition is gonna end with me. I’m gonna send even more money back home Inshallah
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My old man forcing me to watch Saddam Hussein in court. Big dawg I just wanted to watch SpongeBob 💔
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Akhi Ayman is proof you should find a skill when you’re young and capitalise. You don’t wanna be 30 telling ex-roadman stories
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Idk what it is but I hate these genre of tweets
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Moving to Saudi for burgers is nasty work
I wanna move to Saudi or UAE wallah I'm tired of overpriced halal burgers, only eating filet o fish and cooking at home cuz the halal food options are mid
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Quraanka sidaas uma aqrin kaarta
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I got a religion for you pal it’s called Nivea Moisturising face wash
A certain religion is sending death threats and doesn’t claim them as part of their religion all for letting a certain religion to peacefully celebrate their holidays. But I’m supposed to sit and believe that their religion is peaceful? What a life.
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hold that
FT: Bayern Munich 8-1 Mainz.
Bayern Munich bring the gap with Leverkusen down to 7 points, but Xabi Alonso’s team can make that 10 points again tomorrow.
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I’ve tried to ignore it but I can’t anymore this guy is hideous. Stop putting this goblin on my tl.
HELLO WORLD I FOOLED YOU ALL, BUT YOU’RE STILL GONNA HATE ME RIGHT???!!!??? Just because of what you’ve seen on the internet.
*Actually watch this and open your mind*
This is part 1 of a 3 part saga
This is the redemption arc
#mizzy
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Bro live tweeted a fever
Feel like my souls going to escape my body, ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ for what has been decreed.
If I pass away, make dua ﷲ pardons me and grants me Jannat Tul Firduas Al A’la.
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i’d like to apologise to liverpool fans for assuming you guys had critical thinking skills
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UK salaries
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Jadon Sancho:
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Real Madrid 5 - 0 Dortmund
Dortmund admin: I guess it’s all about the friends we made on the way! 😀👌🏾
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Xhaka getting a hero send off while Ozil & Auba was chased out like fugitives
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Arsenal not even playing til next week and they’ve still managed to piss me off
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Only getting married for the sole purpose of saying “let me ask the missus”
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