Merlin Tragic Making
@WorldClassMerli
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![장기용 팬카페 [Dear My. 장기용]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1686292410652057600/NxAfaTrm.jpg)
You can buy the whole of Alton Towers for just £8!
£12 cheaper than a ‘Phalaanx tshirt’
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can we just take a moment to say this bread and butter at the secret garden costs £5.95.
Six. Pounds. For. Bread. And. Butter.
what are you thinking,
@altontowers
and
@Aramark
@RemoveAramak
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Jumanji in the film vs Jumanji in the theme park
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No trip to a merlin attraction is complete without an A4 laminated piece of paper
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Spotted at towers yesterday.
It gets worse the more you look at it.
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That’s a pretty nice shir- OH GOD
What has happened to Thorpe merch in the last few years
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The first thing you see when you enter Disneyland is the castle. The first thing you see at Thorpe is this shit
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“What meat is it?”
“BIRD”
“Chicken?”
“BIRD”
“Chicken burger?”
“BIRD IN A BUN”
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Tin shed ✅
2D sign ✅
Closed ✅
A successful merlin establishment
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CURSED
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hello to all our new followers. “Join us” in spreading and shaming Merlin’s nonsense, armark’s prison food shenanigans, endless typos on poorly fitting 2D signs, graffiti covered tin sheds, endless budget cuts, dirty overpriced hotels… this is the true Merlin Way.
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Warm welcome
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The extension of nemesis literally feels forgotten like you shouldn’t be there
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Please, no more feedback, we won’t listen anyway
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Lovely and vibrant! And now makes the rest of the track look shit and sticks out massively
New meets old I love the new Colossus track so bright and vibrant 🎢 Are you a fan of the new track sections for this year and it’s bright colour ?
👏👏
@Taziker_
Looks great 👍
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Fuck it. Admin face reveal if this post gets 3 likes.
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Name a bigger downgrade
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World class multi million pound company: Farm in Crawley:
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“Before you start designing, you have seen an ostrich before right?”
“Yeah don’t worry I’ve got this, I’ve seen them before in Jurassic Park”
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We’d like to extend our best wishes to those striking, and hope that a fair outcome can be reached. Hopefully this is just the beginning of something larger, and we will see fairer treatment of staff across all departments.
Attention Adventurers
Please see information below if you’re visiting us next weekend and in May.
Find more details regarding your visit or stay here –
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Narrator: On the 31st December 1892…
Photo sleeve: 1911
Come on,
@altontowers
… proof read stuff.
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shouldn’t be worn ever
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wait until they find out merlin have been doing this for years
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Environmentally friendly locks
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Halloumi bites (for mice)
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£50.
Buckwheat Butlins
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happy christmas from alton towers at oktoberfest.
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Real talk. Isn’t it kinda bad that they’ve permanently closed duel without a formal announcement? Like yea they put something in the exit, but non enthusiasts who wanted to ride will now just arrive to find it closed. Should’ve gone down the bubble works route.
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This is an event. Not the low budget 10-6 events merlin are putting out instead of new rides
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What the FUCK is that thing below the Heinz logo. I can most definitely say it has got to not be Heinz.
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I’ve only just noticed this one…
Part 69 of Alton Towers not proof reading things.
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I’m so glad the park has made an announcement on the closure of the ride so I know that it’s shut prior to visiting…
There’s definitely no sign of life at Enterprise this week. Look carefully behind Duel and you can even find the ride gondolas!
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Normal operations, then.
@LEGOLANDWindsor
can you sort your app out. Trying to eat, can’t eat hot dogs and nothing is open.
@Aramark
Do Better!
@WorldClassMerli
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Paper plates 😭😭😭
And they don’t even give you them any more you have to get them yourself.
Service with a smile :)
I’m not usually one to post this but c’mon… “second to Disney” and we have PAPER PLATES at Pizza Pasta 😂
I honestly just stood there laughing, although I was able to walk it off whilst getting my own cutlery and paper plate from the new handy station ✨
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in the nightmares
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5M1L3R M0LD T4K30V3R
Nice to see The Smiler got some love for it’s 10th year.
BLACK MOULD in the station posing a health risk to guests and staff.
Sort it out
@altontowers
.
#SeektheTruth
#CleanTheSmiler
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I’m guessing they didn’t put it up properly so they can change the prices again next week
Burger Kitchen has recently had a new menu, with some further price rises since the start of the season, however the new menu does contain more choice than the March menu.
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what in the Aramark is this bollocks?
The prices have certainly risen since Aramark took over running the food outlets across
@altontowers
But has the quality changed? The 100% signage has been removed from the front and inside the Burger Kitchen. The signage previously mentioned “100% Beef” and “100% Chicken breast”
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mythica would be such a banging ride if you couldn’t see the ceiling
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Genuinely sad
My friend is at Heide Park today, so I asked for the stark reminder of how great theming and areas can be left in an utter shit tip:
@WorldClassMerli
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I love the fact we are now getting submissions
We stan A4 laminated paper
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Yummy mould 🥰
Unfortunately, The Aramark ‘Partnership’ isn’t going well. Sky High Prices. Drop in Quality and now Mouldy Food on the Hygiene Report.
This could really hurt Merlin’s Reputation and encourage people to visit elsewhere.
Below you can find the report from The Safari Hotel 👇
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utter shambles
So ghost train broke at 12 so everyone's back at 2 with numbered tickets, and they're going through and calling them out like maccies orders
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not even silkstones overreacting videos can make deaths doors look good 💀💀💀💀
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New facade revealed for duel 2023. vinyl wrap the whole thing.
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Good to see they’ve stayed with the tin shed and hanging banner “theming”
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Leg ticklers or leg whips? 😂
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Wow. Merlin really need to fix this.
Rita is currently running:
x1 train half RAP half fast track
x1 train 1/4 RAP 3/4 main queue.
This is obscene.
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HA
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Whilst it’s good the rides will (probably) open at park open, it is sad to see that they are shutting early.
Why can’t they just be open when the park opens and close when the park closes?
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EXCLUSIVE: a merlin insider has leaked one of the training videos
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So I’ve sent
@CWOA
a DM and they have… ignored it. No wonder they ask you to DM every time there’s something wrong
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“we forgot the theme cause our worlds first gimmick didn’t work”
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Consider me shook
Due to High Volume Of Traffic to the Reserve & Ride Website at Chessington.
It is currently increasingly difficult to access and reserve slots for Mandrill and Use RAP at the park as the website can not cope with demand.
It should calm down soon but this is not good.
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EXCLUSIVE: Merlin have sent us these signs which are being placed in each attraction
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good to know they still need staff the week before they open
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Why make new merch when you can reuse last years with last years date on. 0 effort
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The longest in Europe 😭😭
With one train operation, Galactica currently boasts the longest advertised waiting time in Europe at 110 minutes. Both Fastrack and RAP queues are considerable and the main queue is using extensions down to the car park. The ride has not yet been on full capacity this season.
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how is the vampire closed from the 29th to the 27th?
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Vinyl wallpaper
A gift ….
Parking
A pool
Aren’t they generous.
I get it’s a themed room in all but £729 for 2 people for 1 night is a bit steep!
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good to see no one recommending Merlin’s nonsense this year.
support smaller independent attractions. With effects that work. With good opening hours. With detailed theming.
Question: If you were to recommend one non-theme park UK scare event to someone where would it be and why?
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come to our park where everything is a rip off.
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good to see Thorpe have made a strong effort to get rid of the graffiti in the swarm queue.
it now looks like mould.
At least we think they’ve tried to cover it up… could just be mould.
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Bonnie Tyler has changed her mind about needing a hero
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who wishes these rides would just fu*kin’ fly away forever?
It lasted a few days, but Funk ‘N’ Fly is once again closed for maintenance.
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EMERGENCY ALERT
YOU CAN NO LONGER BUY 3 ONION RINGS
FUCK
The menu at Just Chicken has had a refresh since the start of the season.
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