Senator Murry Watt, Minister for Agricult - Parody
@WattMuzza
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2019 - bush fire and climate change expert. 2020 - virus and pandemic expert. 2021 - vaccine expert 2022 - geopolitical expert 2023 - ag and trade expert
Definitely not rural Australia
Joined October 2023
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Agriculture - not only is it a long and tricky word to spell, but it also produces food, which we eat.
This is one of the many farmers in Australia who support our Government in feeding the country. When you have your next meal, don't forget to thank a MP
Coulters definitely helping seed into 2yo stripper stubble on chem fallow. Not something I’d try again though. Wheat going 80mm deep into moisture
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When the Australian Labor Party invented shearing in 1891, we pathed the way for agriculture to thrive across Australia.
Ever since, the industry has been indebted to the ALP.
Nevertheless, we are committed the industry and will help shearers retrain as hemp weavers after the
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Today, walking back from a Cafe where I got lunch (where food comes from), I had a thought.
What if every farm in Australia looked like this?
How much better would we all be knowing children could safely play on our farms?
How much better for the environment is this sort of
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The Morrison Government drove a wedge between the city and country.
The
@AlboMP
govt is doing a brilliant job at repairing it.
Today, we're rolling out a new campaign to help bridge the divide between city and country people.
Here, we're helping city people understand common
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Liberal voters say I'm only around for the photo opportunity.
But today, I went and helped a sheep farm dig a hole to bury his sheep.
It's tough work, but someone has to pretend to do the first shovel.
#WattAMinister
#WattAWorker
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One thing I learnt when I failed as a lawyer, is that I'm great at starting a failed career then ditching it.
Now, I'm leading Agriculture to failure. Once it's completely screwed, I'll quit and still have great benefits and get a cushy public servant job.
#WattALegend
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But I thought we were friends?
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After monitoring recent twitter posts anti Dan Andrews and Mark McGowan, we've decided to adjust BoM models to only give SA and the NT rain this week.
The rest of you need to rethink your tweets.
*applicable only for Labor voting farmers.
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@MurrayWatt
In time, we will phase out farming. The future is city based, and for too long farmers have relied on exporting produce from Australia
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When I failed as a lawyer earlier in my career, I knew I was a great fit for the Labor party.
When I failed in the legislative assembly in 2012, I knew I was fit to move to Federal politics.
Now, failing as a Minister, I'm proud to serve under this failing PM.
#LaborLegends
Whatever the political version of lanolin is, the PM might need it in WA with responses like this to
@oliverpeterson
on
@PerthLive6PR
today.
The calls post are worth a listen (by pollsters and punters alike):
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I've exceeded my bag limit today.
#WattAMinister
When the Australian Labor Party invented shearing in 1891, we pathed the way for agriculture to thrive across Australia.
Ever since, the industry has been indebted to the ALP.
Nevertheless, we are committed the industry and will help shearers retrain as hemp weavers after the
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Any good, cushy jobs going atm?
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I just got word that West Australian farmers are planning a surprise party to celebrate my work. Thanks guys, you didn't have too
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Where ever you are in this great country.
What ever part of the Ag sector you are part of.
How ever important you are in your business.
Just remember...
...we're here and ready to be your pallbearers if you need.
#WattAMinister
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As the Minister for Fisheries, who should I report myself to if I've exceeded my catch limit?
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"...and then I said, 'don't worry, we have $107 million to cover the transition to boxed meat exports"
#LaborFunnys
#LaborLarrikens
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I do love giving farmers a raw deal
#hawk
@MurrayWatt
picking and choosing what issues to listen to reinforces the idea that you are someone’s puppet. Very certain most WA growers and industry complained to you for getting a “raw deal” with ban, but you do nothing?
#keepthesheep
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@HallRaelene
@animaljusticeAU
this is proving to be a bit harder than we all thought. Any chance you could swing a few more preferences our way somehow?
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The funniest thing about this, the photo isn't even of a boat.
Who's in favour of banning all transport of livestock?
Live sheep exports by sea have been plummeting for years, along with community support due to serious animal welfare concerns. Now, the trade will end, with Parliament voting to phase out the industry from 1 May 2028.
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It still shits me I got community noted on this one.
How dare someone try to fact check a sitting member of parliament?
Hands off our hams! 🍖
I’m calling on the big supermarket chains to put a price freeze on Christmas hams so families can budget this Christmas.
The Albanese Government is helping Aussies with cost of living pressures and we need the supermarkets to do the right thing too.
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Everyone who's
#factchecking
me on this, saying farmers are lower paid, aren't correct.
Under our government, farmers aren't paid anything.
Minimum wage earners are the lowest PAID workers in the country.
Please stop the
#factcheck
before you embarrass yourself.
Today, Australia's lowest paid workers got a well deserved pay rise. Apparently the Coalition think that's a bad thing.
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Remember, the Morrison government never sent anyone to jail over this.
Therefore, we need to ban the entire industry so it can never happen again.
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So sad to hear from the best and most prominent farmer on that half of the country.
Maybe WA will opt to rename their State 'Darren West Australia' in recognition of his great work for rural WA?
I'd definitely support that!
12 days ago I flew to WA to meet with farmers to work with them on the future of their industry.
Not many people know this, but WA is named after Darren West, the first farmer in the State.
Darren and his family continue to farm and represent the Ag region in the WA Parliament
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Did I ever mention I'm an expert in break dancing?
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Beautiful.
Not a sheep in sight 😍
So we left a trial of no Lemkin til in feb 4l ha fuel then sowed straight over with valiant 25 April used an extra litre per ha fuel remarkable difference it’s thinner weedier slower 137 mls the year no dust on the untilled at sowing will be a interesting watch
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Today's reminder that the Animal Justice Party like their sheep like they like their violence...
...domestic.
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The key finding from the health documentary "Breaking Bad", is that our food and medical production system needs to be rethought.
Under our government, we'll turn all farmers into Walter White type role models and get real food on tables.
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Vote for us next election and we can all fail together ❤️
When I failed as a lawyer earlier in my career, I knew I was a great fit for the Labor party.
When I failed in the legislative assembly in 2012, I knew I was fit to move to Federal politics.
Now, failing as a Minister, I'm proud to serve under this failing PM.
#LaborLegends
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@AlboIsPM
I find manifesting my energy towards destroying industry, very useful and carbon free
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Well, I am the Minister for Fishery's too. I haven't messed with that much
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Hundreds of men, women, and children gather in support Labor policies.
Myself, and the rest if cabinet, often think we're living in a fantasy land. We just can't believe how popular we are.
#WattAMinister
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As requested by
@AnimalsAus
, we can announce our first election promise, to decriminalise beastiality.
We delivered on 2 of 30 of our last election promises, now it's time to introduce this important legislation
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There's not many Ministers in the history books that will have as bigger impact on such a small part of WA as me.
Maybe next term, I'll be the Minister for Impacts as well.
#WattAMinister
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You
#keepthesheep
people just don't get it.
The moral of the story is, if you want to change a law, you need to splash some cash.
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Hey,
@theweeklytimes
, can you use a photo of me next time you mention me first in the story?
🐑 Agriculture Minister Murray Watt is under mounting pressure to refer legislation to end the live sheep export trade to a Senate committee for further scrutiny. See the latest:
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As the Minister for Agriculture, I strongly support this decision.
Now, farmers, instead of losing money for their efforts breeding animals, can get a job stacking grocery shelves and get paid a whopping 3.75% more than they would have previously.
Farmers will still be part of
Labor believes that every Australian deserves a fair day’s pay for a fair day’s work.
Today’s Fair Work Commission decision to increase the minimum wage by 3.75% is a win for workers, a win for women and will help with cost of living relief for Australians who need it most.
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Thanks to Andrew, Chris, and John, for finding a farmer with a big enough ego to stroke to interview for this article.
Without Rob, I'd only have my vegan mates to stroke mine.
#WattAnEgo
With laws passed this week to phase out live sheep exports in 2028, we’ll now work with industry to deliver our $107 million transition package. As these WA sheep farmers say, there are new markets available - we want Australia to take them. Story here:
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I came. I saw. I conquered Agriculture.
Now let's give another portfolio a crack.
#yourwelcome
#WattAMinister
Over the past two years I’ve been privileged to work with the Agriculture and Emergency Management sectors, most notably to strengthen our biosecurity system, open new markets and invest in long term disaster resilience.
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Don't judge me. I will do Watt I need to do for the votes
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This has the perfect number of sheep on it.
Excellent stocking rate.
Every row where the liquid cart follows the bar. There's no germination. Is this normal?
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Our government supports Aussie farmers and agriculture to the nʻth degree.
*ideologically, of course.
**and if we can get a better preference deal, catch ya.
Is
#ausag
really under attack or do we all just have a massive chip on our shoulder?
What are the current threats to & weaknesses of our industry & how can we address them?
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Yeah, but our Government did a much more comprehensive study that showed there were 2 reasons to enact the ban.
And 2 is a bigger number than 1...
Actually,
@JEChalmers
can you please check that?
Thought provoking on the trickle on effect shutting down live export could have on the grains industry in WA🤔
From two independent reports commissioned by the government..
No need to comment if you are not actually in the agricultural industry 😇
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Under the Albanese Government, we've created magic cows who eat green grass but produce white milk.
Imagine what sheep farmers will be able to do if they just follow us...
@
#WattAMinister
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Is porn primary production? Surely.
I'll claim it as successful leadership, anyway.
And the ATO seems to give zero tosses about untaxed wealth from animal activisium.
#FarmersShouldDiversify
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12 days ago I flew to WA to meet with farmers to work with them on the future of their industry.
Not many people know this, but WA is named after Darren West, the first farmer in the State.
Darren and his family continue to farm and represent the Ag region in the WA Parliament
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@MurrayWatt
We are in consultation with experts as to whether or not we should ban all chicken farming in Australia.
At this stage, I'm thinking it's a good idea.
...and I'm the expert that counts the most
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@RSPCA
Great work rspca.
Remember, the Morrison government never sent anyone to jail over this.
Therefore, we need to ban the entire industry so it can never happen again.
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We're trying out some new Ag Ministry merch to wear to the field days.
Flick me a DM if you're in our office and want one.
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@_JamesSteward_
We did. And it's illegal to factcheck a sitting member of parliament.
I'd suggest you remove this tweet before you embarrass yourself.
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That's why our policy's are:
✔️ fast, and not thought out
✔️ cheap, screwing anyone in the way.
✔️ and still risky AF
Peter Dutton’s nuclear reactor plan:
❌ too slow
❌ too expensive
❌ too risky
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Unfortunately brother, I think you and I are going to have big pay cut next financial year
2.6 million Australians will get a pay rise from 1 July.
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@FarmerTonyWhite
Telephones are vital for businesses and city dwellers to communicate.
Rural people use traditional forms of communication, such as smoke signals and bullroars.
I know because I have a close communication with farmers and rural people, and understand their issues.
#WattAMinister
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@MurrayWatt
@AlboMP
Just imagine how amazing our collective arse holes will feel in 5 years time when we've completely sold out to China?
Good thing we didn't let the WTO decide for us.
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I'm not tryto brag, but I can count to 6
5 things that will help with the cost of living from 1 July.
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This is the best compliment I've had all term.
Thanks Jonnie
@WattMuzza
@AlboMP
Here We Go Again.
2 Years of Blaming the Last Mob.
😒
Everytime You Tweet this Twaddle,
It Exposes Your Actual Discharm of Not Getting on With "" The Job at Hand...""
Sorry i Voted for You.
First Time Ever.
Never Again Will I Listen to Your Lie's.
Your Total Disregard for Aussies
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Does this hair cut look like the sort of person who supports sheep farmers? Clearly not. At best, dorper's, but definitely not merinos.
If you support the LNP, by default you are anti farmers.
#voteLabor
#WattAMinister
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You're welcome.
More examples of industry thriving under a Labor Government.
#thankaMP
#WattAMinister
Massive rains in the mid west - especially in the northern part. Seems that 3 of the last 4 years have had unusually good growing season rains. A reversal of the 4 years prior to that 🤔 which were dominated by
#drought
#climatechange
#ClimateActionNow
?
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I feel the same way about Agriculture.
Once I got famous, I feel I've outgrown it.
It's not relevant anymore
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Observant fans will note I self like my posts
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@HallRaelene
There is only a couple of farmers in WA. Its a mining State, so not really worth the trip over.
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Albo has become the only Prime Minister to skull a pint as a sitting PM.
And he did it while still looking cool.
I'm proud to be a front bencher for this
#legend
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More examples of an entire industry booming.
It's not just the booms from .22s from sheep farmers in WA, this feedlots expenses are booming with consultants and carbon accountants so they can look a little better to consumers.
Together, we wil keep ag booming.
#WattAMinister
Mort & Co’s Grassdale Feedlot on the Darling Downs is leading the charge towards low emissions agriculture. Australia’s largest cattle feedlot is using feed supplements to cut its methane emissions & turning waste into organic fertiliser for the sugar and cropping industries.
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Suck it, losers!!
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One nation fans are the best.
They hate Labor Parody accounts more than anyone else
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"Death Truck" sounds so much cooler and tougher than 'Tipper'.
...but I'm now confused. We don't support death trucks or live export??
Is it only semi conscious things we support?
Let me know cos I've promised
@AlboMP
the preferences
"Death truck & trailer spotted at Red Hill this afternoon" ...
- Save Canberra's Kangaroos
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@australian
Oh, is it a competition?
I'm giving a couple of things a pretty good crack at that title, and would appreciate your support, Jim.
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@MartinMurray_Ag
And the worlds largest sheep exporter will have no sheep, by the end of my term 🤞
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Stop worrying about the detail. We got the gist of the facts right. That's a ✔️ in my book
@WattMuzza
What bullshit , The ALP did not invent shearing. It was the shearers and farm labourers union that started the ALP.
It is written in our history.
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I'd be very surprised if the AJP made false allegations.
Feel free to share examples in comments
"Greyhound Racing NSW are coming after us - the CEO has sent an email accusing me of making false allegations, while at the same time denying any wrongdoing.
This is occurring at the same time we are calling for an inquiry into the greyhound racing industry ..."
-
@MlcHurst
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I have a new most hated politician. Should I change my ideal?
I support the positive transition from live sheep exports to a higher-value, higher-jobs, and more humane chilled and frozen boxed meat trade.
Annual live sheep exports from WA can be processed for sheep meat onshore in just 4 days. 👇
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"Final step"
Giving off some massive 3rd reich vibes bro.
Let's ease it up a bit to get some votes, first.
Over 4 years, the government’s transition package will help make the final step to a higher-value chilled and frozen trade and phase out harmful live sheep exports worth just 0.1% of Australia’s agricultural output.
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@TimMontague77
@MurrayWatt
The Morrison Government restricted
@AnimalsAus
Peter Singers ability to run a beastiality escort service. Whats worse?
Voters made a choice for us at the last election.
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Did you tell me I should, or shouldn't share this? I forgot
This step-by-step guide to helping animals stuck in glue traps could save a life! ❤ 🐁🐦🦎
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@susanamet
I think they hate it because Animals Australia paid for it, but farmers are paying the price for it.
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Sitting Ministers receive these comments...
I know more about Agriculture than the Minister for Emergency Management, young man.
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When I became the Minister for Emergency Management, I took a pledge to deliver Australia more and better emergencies, that the Morrison Government couldn't.
Since I can't control the weather, we're focusing on economic emergencies, one industry at a time.
Watch this space....
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Yet another massive fan of my work
#WattAMinister
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So true.
The world needs more politicians and less farmers, builders, and mechanics
@WattMuzza
@MurrayWatt
I don't know why we all don't work in politics. Way more money than farming plus your get to go home every night knowing you have heled everyone in Australia.
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Not true. WA loves Labor. Perth even named their river after the former deputy PM
🐏 Western Australian farmers are not taking the live sheep export phase out decision lying down, launching a grassroots campaign to overturn the controversial ban.
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@RiddLeY__ThoMas
@TimMontague77
Great evidence 👏
Email my office please. We'd like to offer you a job
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@Countryman1885
I would have preferred "Watt A Great Minister". But thanks for the shout out anyway
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