Jonathan
@WalkerJC3
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(570) IR Undergrad, PSU Class 2024
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Joined October 2015
There is a small yet powerful tribe of merchants in the Middle East known for their meddling nature that is currently putting 120% of their efforts into preventing me from having anyone like this in my life. #GorkaWaifu
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It's 2045. Mayor Mamdani ran unopposed for his fifth term. I looked out the window of my free Central Park West apartment and thought about how far we had come. The groceries were free at first, then the restaurants. The buses were free too, then the Ubers. I looked at my
It’s 2027. I’m sitting on a free bus. Open stab wound still dripping. On my way to the grocery store to get bread. The man next to me is cooperating with the neighborhood mental health officer but he’s still gripping the knife. I feel a sense of regret wash over me. Why didn’t I
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Every time we get a new graph the whole internet comes together like "Okay Zoomers, listen up. I know you're already pretty neurotic and scared of sex, but we should always strive to push boundaries Here's a distribution of TTO (time to orgasm). It's a new acronym we just
Well, that's something. This is the distribution of how long it reportedly takes men to ejaculate in a vagina during sex. It seems kind of... honest? The median man takes just six minutes to come.
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"So Johnny, I hear you're attempting to conceive." "Uh, hi, Dad. And yes, Vanessa and I are trying for our first child." "Kino." "I always feel weird telling people that." "Why? It's what newlyweds do." "Sure, but it feels like I'm grabbing a megaphone and screaming, 'Hey
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“Sweet Home Alabama” - The Leningrad Cowboys & The Red Army Choir (1993)
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Men, I challenge you to try this in August. - Daily porn - Daily alcohol - 5-8 hours on the game/day - 2-5 hours of sleep - 500> steps/day - 0 push-ups daily - No home cooked meals; takeout only Shall we?
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Many people misunderstand the first rule of kings (including a plenty of kings themselves). You must only give orders that will be obeyed. Break this rule, and you will not stay as king for long. The Supreme Court showed that they still have the sense to stay as kings. 1/
BREAKING: In a 6-3 ruling, the Supreme Court has effectively nuked the universal injunctions used by rogue district court judges. The opinion was written by Amy Coney Barrett. Sotomayor, Jackson, and Kagan dissented.
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The Knights of Columbus would raise money for you but they weren’t gonna sugarcoat it.
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Does anybody mind if a white boy speaks a little mandarin this summer
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bottoming frequently will really have your farts sounding like the tuba that follows chris around in that one episode of family guy
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What if everything retarded is correlated with everything else that's retarded
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