Inedible Biscuit
@VolumeRose
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WARNING: I SHOUT A LOT. Do not approach unless you have biscuits.
Joined March 2017
"I'M VERY HOT AND UNCOMFORTABLE." "Maybe you shouldn't be sat on the sofa with a whole duvet across your lap then?" "NO. THE TEMPERATURE JUST NEEDS TO REDUCE TO COMFORTABLY ACCOMMODATE MY WEIRD NEEDS. I SHALL JUST SWEAT IN THE MEANTIME."
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I've done so much social that I can't even type a coherent sentence. I hope my kids are grateful. If it wasn't for them I would have been picking my nose and watching TV.
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When you've already socialised with for 3 days in a row, but still have more to come tomorrow.
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Trump: *Gets arrested for robbing a bank at gunpoint* Republicans: "Wow, so it's illegal to go to a bank and get some money now."
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A few months ago I was contacted by management for Harry Styles asking whether I would consider doing his portrait. I didn’t really know of his celebrity at the time so I said yes but I wish I hadn’t cause the whole thing has been a disaster. He came to my holiday home in
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The bellends whining climate change is a hoax because it's raining in the UK remind of the people that don't understand how snow works. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF YOUR RURAL LANE TO FIX MY BOILER BECAUSE OF THE SNOW? MY GRITTED MAIN ROAD IS FINE. STOP MAKING EXCUSES."
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It's holiday season so of course a couple with their camper van thought it acceptable to break my fence and camp overnight on my land. They are now blocked in with our small tractor, should be fun when they wake up.
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"A REAL MAN WOULD HAVE RUBBED WASABI IN HIS EYES AND LET SOME ANGRY LOBSTERS HAVE A GO ON HIS TESTICLES FOR A LAUGH." I have to say that seeking assistance for a mental health issue seems more reasonable.
A real man wouldn’t hide in hospital and leave his wife alone to face the music, because of his choices. A real man would own it. Stand in front of the media and say “I am so sorry for what I have put my family through.” A real man would do these things because he cared more
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Mate, twitter is proper shit now. All I see is transphobes and right wing morons spouting bollocks. Where's the news? I miss this place being where I go to find out what's happening in the world. I don't care what Deborah thinks about toilet cubicles.
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