Hiding in the conference room on moving day… new office here I come 🥰

Can someone mansplain to me how a human (man obvs) falls asleep mid serious conversation??

Tried hot yoga… I’ve never been more sweaty in my life

I’m old fashioned. I don’t use AI. I draft my briefs by copying and pasting from all my other briefs

Barely slept cause nerves, leaving soon to drive 3 hours to take a deposition 🙃

Millennials have fewer wrinkles because we stopped smiling in 2001

i’ll ask a ouija board before i ask chatgpt

Friday the 13th. I’m gonna get ~several~ tattoos.

I bought my daughter Louboutins for prom because her dress was $50. I mean they were less than $150 but still. This is insane.

Jonathan has problematic views on women and minorities

I stopped being a prosecutor in September (🤢) but many of the hundreds of cases on my sheet haven’t been transferred. It’s super weird to see the entries that either don’t bother me or fill me with rage.

No I can’t meet you for a drink, I’m busy monitoring this monkey situation.

The sounds of an electric car’s hum and a diesel exhaust’s rumble are competing outside my office window.

someone said: Menstrual blood is the only blood that isn't born from violence but is the one that disgusts society most. Felt that on a spiritual level.

Give me the background noise that sounds like something falling down the stairs (metal)

Does anyone else with ADHD feel calm in actual emergencies but overwhelmed by normal daily tasks like emails, forms or phone calls?

god forbid a girl be full of whimsy AND rage

as above (insane in the head) so below (insane in the bed)

I love people with ADHD because they never actually forget anything. You just have to say the right words to activate them like a sleeper cell and then they awaken with all of the knowledge on a very niche subject they studied for 3 months straight 6 years ago.

Look at this FAB I’m obsessed