I was in the bathroom when a friend sent me an XXX video. I played it but there was no sound. I increased the volume but still no sound. I watched it for 5 mins before I remembered my phone was connected to the Bluetooth in the living room. My entire family was in there.

Keying his car is so childish. Dump rubberbands, hundreds upon hundreds of rubberbands, in his driveway …. you can’t sweep them up, he’ll have to pick them up by hand. Every last one of them.

They say marriage is an institution . Yeah, a fucking asylum.

RT @TheLifeEdits: We all crave for genuine and selfless connections but how many of us are being that for someone?.

Many of you have been asking if my daughter had her baby since I’ve returned. Meet Grayson Robert Richard !!.He’s the love of my life

RT @MakeItAQuote: @Omoba_adenuga @TheWidowmakerX

RT @thequeensheart: It seems one can order a mini electric chain saw for $18 after coupons from Amazon. I wonder how much damage I could ca….

People only talk behind someone’s back because they’ve heard what happens when they talk shit to their face.

RT @heyitsJudeD: My love language is shutting the fuck up and chilling with you.

RT @evecullen610: her body speaks in braille. to know her is to touch her.

RT @CallSignSiren: I love those people that just instantly put you in a good mood.

RT @kristabellerina: I’ll have a side of revenge with a bucket of popcorn please.

RT @LarrysTwin99: She wants me to make it weird in bed next time so I’m betting on this bicycle horn and kazoo to do the trick.

RT @CunniLinguist77: I sing nonsense to my dog. He just looks at me and he probably feels like a child and that I’m oompaloompa-ing him.

RT @Jessicasquared9: If you're going .To give it to me.Make sure it's good.

RT @GraniteDhuine: Northern lights tonight.

RT @_KimberleyAnna: Fuck off….Me, flirting.

RT @TheNostalgicCo: Are you nicer in the real world than you are online?.

RT @Jessicasquared9: Your communication skills.Fucking turn me on.

RT @RunOldMan: If you see me smiling in public it means I'm laughing at the jokes I tell myself in my head.