So what if Im useless at owl impressions, I couldn't give a hoot #LunchPun

Communists aren't right in the head. #LunchPun

#wednesdaywit With modern technology I find I rarely write anything with a pen these days. When I do, I tend to get writer's cramp. Am I suffering with Authoritis?

Brought my neighbour a book on Minimalism as a thank you for helping me with the hedges, it was the least I could do. #TuesdayTitters

I had to go to the Doctors yesterday as my body is emitting the smell of lemon!! He’s sending for some blood zests. #lunchpun

If you haven't ever experienced being born, you've never lived. #LunchPun

I assume they’ll run out of money for National Service and it will only go as far as Birmingham.

Maybe, instead of National Service for 18 year olds they should introduce national service for MPs. They all have to do several weeks volunteering in a school, GP, hospital, care home, social care and police within their first 12 months in office.

I'm from wensleydale and my partner's from Dover, must say we're like chalk and cheese. #LunchPun

#purequim #BoycottPureGym

Bought my daughter a cheap 'Miss Piggy' purse but sadly it was very pork wallety.

These pills I've been taking to stop me playing with my genitals seem to be working, touch wood. #LunchPun

Who doesn’t love a banana cow? 🐄🍌

Liberty Street Rock Indie Music Playlist VOL 6 Stream & Retweet https://t.co/1OU4HTUTze @ITHERETWEETER1 @theretweetermag @936Arrow @LisaHumber @LimneticV @TheRanks2020 @JenniferMlott @theheavynorth @markham_monk @SundayHats @AlmasTheBand

I dated an optician once,wouldn't recommend it ,really eye maintenance. #LunchPun

Not renewing my membership for the Uk publicans alliance, to much Inn fighting. #lunchpun

Thanks to whoever grassed me up for the lack of material I've posted on this hashtag, couldn't really argue with the judges verdict in court though if I'm honest, it was a no pun and shut case. #LunchPun

My headmaster always sounded overjoyed when he spotted me and my 3 mates in the playground Euphoria? Yep, that's exactly what he used to shout! #LunchPun

I've got a mate who collects indigenous American urine samples. Cree pee ? That's what I thought. #LunchPun