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TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) Profile
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)

@TechnicallyRon

Followers
173,050
Following
953
Media
2,696
Statuses
45,973

Writer etc

Joined January 2010
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
10 months
I took 1 star reviews of #Barbie from furious men on letterboxd and put them on the posters because it makes the film seem ever cooler.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
It is the period between Christmas and New year. No one knows what day it is. Time doesn't really exist. Can we start drinking at 10am? Why not. Existence is a confusion.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
How the seasons work in the UK: Jan - Cold Feb – Still Cold Mar – Still cold but snow now Apr - Rain May – More rain Jun – Why is it still raining July - BEES Aug – Oh god it is so hot Sept – I miss the heat Oct – Heat is simply a memory Nov - Cold Dec – Cold but with capitalism
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
2007: It's called a smart phone, it can do everything! 2017: Stare into the nightmare rectangle and watch society collapse in real time
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 months
Sometimes reddit is really good
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
1 year
Andrew Tate trying to bully a teenager on the internet and failing so badly he gave his location away to the police and got arrested is the end of year gift we all needed.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
1 year
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
8 years
My wife cries at absolutely anything. I mean, ANYTHING. So i started writing the reasons down because reasons.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
In all fairness Brits probably don't do Thanksgiving because if we had to take a day off for the anniversary of us fucking over a native people and ruining their country we'd never have to go to work.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
A female lord of the flies where everything goes fine and they create a society on a secret island wait this is the start of wonder woman
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
Let’s play a game of MILLENNIAL MONOPOLY. The rules are simple, you start with no money, you can’t afford anything, the board is on fire for some reason and everything is your fault.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
I took Daily Mail comments from people angry about a possible Female Dr Who and turned them into episode titles for the new series
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 years
Never trust a man who casually dresses like he is going to help the nazis steal the ark of the covenant.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
"Hey you're that fucking idiot with terrible hair who tricked an entire country into making themselves look like morons"
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 years
The important thing to remember about Novak Djokovic being denied entry to Australia after spending a day in the airport thinking he was more important than everyone else is that it is incredibly funny.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
BIG BEN BONGS NO MORE. TIME NO LONGER EXISTS IN THE UK. CHAOS. NO ONE KNOWS WHEN TO MAKE TEA. WHEN IS EASTENDERS ON. HELP US.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
OK this girl now rules Britain. Those are the rules. There are books about this. Send her to Number 10 immediately.
@4danlopez
Daniel Lopez
7 years
Schoolgirl pulls 4ft sword from Cornish lake
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
"Hey kid wanna be director of communications?"
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
I hate to say the boomers were right but I haven't bought a fancy coffee or brunch for two weeks and now I can afford a three bed house.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
1 year
France: "We are increasing the retirement age by two years" The French: "We will drop kick the eiffel tower into the fucking moon if you do" Britain: "We've made it easier for old rich people to stay rich and if you're poor you can never retire" Brits: "oh crumbs oh bother"
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 years
Braverman lost to tofu, Truss lost to a lettuce, vegans having an amazing week tbf
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
I have ventured to THE NORTH. People keep saying hello to me. There are 3 dogs in this pub. I got change back when I bought a pint. No one has told me to fuck off in hours. I haven't seen a Pret in days. The air is FRESH and this is definitely all a trick to get me to stay.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
Can't believe they cancelled the daily briefing show after one season just because the main characters killed loads of people
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
3 years
I don't know about everyone else but I think Britain was better off when we had food and could afford heating.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
Which type of Brexiteer are you?
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
Fact: David Cameron fucked a pig and now we all have to leave the EU
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
Brexit is such a shit idea that everyone associated with it keeps quitting when they realise how fucked we are, just so they can't get blamed for how shit it'll be. How about we sod it off instead of holding a nation hostage because a third of the population got tricked by a bus.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 years
THIS IS #EUROVISION WE DON'T NEED SLOW SONGS. WE NEED WEIRDNESS AND UPBEAT CHAOS. IF WE WANTED TO BE SAD WE WOULD JUST WATCH THE NEWS.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
11 months
The sub story has everything. Billionaires. Logitech controllers. A stepson seeing Blink 182. Conversations about what is funny and what isn't. Rescue missions. The Titanic. Orcas.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
The only two ways to reply to emails: 1. straight away within seconds I have no chill 2. "I am sorry it took me six months to reply, I opened it, thought 'i'll do this later' and then had several large crises"
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
Reasons to be in a relationship: 1. The other person tells you what dogs they saw that day and you then discuss dogs 2. That's it I think
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 years
FRANCE GAVE THE UK 12 POINTS? WHAT IS HAPPENING?! IS EVERYONE OK? #Eurovision
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
Trump: "Immigration has ruined Europe" France: "Hold our World Cup"
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 months
Dear the royals, we are a sensible people, all we need is a video of Kate with today's newspaper telling us the oscar winners from last night to confirm that you haven't killed her.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
3 years
@darrengrimes_ @MarcusRashford Oh shut up you Fisher price Nigel Farage
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
8 years
I used Google autocomplete to write a dating profile and it may be the best dating profile ever
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
Welcome to Britain. You can't see your family if you have already been in contact with another household but you can meet your family at a wetherspoons at 6am tomorrow to get fucking annihilated because this is an entirely normal country.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
If all famous people can constantly criticise Trump for the next four years he'll be too busy ranting on twitter to kill us all.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
3 months
yep can't see uploading an image that can be easily photoshopped going badly
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@Conservatives
Conservatives
3 months
Lesson of the day: you can’t trust Labour
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
Your definitive guide to the sports of the 2018 Winter Olympics
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
Fuck this. You don't get to spread hate and fear for years and then 'not believe' that people will follow that narrative through. Fuck you.
@Nigel_Farage
Nigel Farage
7 years
Cannot believe we're seeing Nazi salutes in 21st century America.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
3 years
When the antivaxxers, 5g truthers, lockdown sceptics and statue shaggers were flooding trafalgar Square every other weekend during a national lockdown the police did nothing but its nice to know their limit is women mourning peacefully.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
If you don’t come out of this quarantine with either: 1.) a new skill 2.) starting what you’ve been putting off like a new business 3.) more knowledge That's perfectly fucking fine you're currently going through a historical event out of your control it's not a bank holiday
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
Matt Hancock is wearing an NHS badge and saying how wonderful the NHS is. In 2017 Matt Hancock voted against giving nurses a fair pay rise. Im not making this political im just stating two facts.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 years
The person at the BBC doing the captions is having a good day
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
I'm old enough to remember 3 days ago when Boris Johnson said we were all being too complacent and going out too much.
@BBCNews
BBC News (UK)
4 years
Boris Johnson urges people to ‘go to the cinema’ following news Cineworld is temporarily closing UK sites
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
Men: Feminists are ruining what it is to be a man and making us look like fools Also men:
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
The BBC front page is quite subtle today
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
If Sadiq Khan is to blame for terrorist attacks in London wouldn't that mean that Trump is responsible for the rise of white nationalism and mass shootings in America or does it only work when the narrative helps the right wing welcome to my ted talk 'politics for toddlers'
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
3 years
Terrible to hear about Piers Morgan. Nothings happened to him it's just fucking terrible every time you have to hear about him.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
5 years
How to make pancakes the british way: Step 1: remember it's pancake day Step 2: work all day because you are a cog in the capitalism nightmare machine Step 3: Too tired to make pancakes Step 4: no pancakes for you
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
P*ers Morgan, who constantly says people are far too sensitive these days, is on day 1732 of attacking a woman who didn't text him back once
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
Trump: Gonna go to London everyone loves me there London:
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
1 year
Yeah we all did great
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@BBCNews
BBC News (UK)
1 year
Mental-health crisis from pandemic was minimal, study suggests
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 months
Greggs is broken. A princess is missing. The government won't give us an election. If this was France the entire country would be on fire.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
BREAKING: Weird country that got tricked by a bus applauds its own stupidity.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 years
If drinks after work isn't socialising but classed as a work meeting then we all have a lot of overtime we need to be invoicing for.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
5 years
Terrible to hear about Katie Hopkins. Nothing has happened but just always terrible to hear about her.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
Pretty weird that Boris Johnson was quiet for weeks whilst young people's futures were put at risk but the moment someone says 'oh maybe the british empire wasn't great and we should think about that' he's in front of a camera faster than a blind advisor could get to durham
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 years
"I drove to a castle to test my eyesight" "I didn't know I was at my own birthday party" "I accidentally looked at porn after looking for tractors" The UK Government really are the smartest of us.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
"why can't i sleep" he said whilst staring directly into the light up nightmare rectangle that held the anxieties of every person on the planet
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
I needed to update my CV so I did it all through google autocomplete and soon I will have every job
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
9 months
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@SkyNews
Sky News
9 months
Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg's cage fight set to take place in 'epic location'
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
'Young people are too sensitive' says grown man who punched another grown man because his dinner wasn't ready
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
I pretended to be Fact Check UK for a few hours last night for a laugh and was locked out of my account and reported for impersonation. Guessing @CCHQPress had similar issues... Nah? Nope. Nothing has consequences anymore? Cool.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
The new issue of MILLENNIALS ARE BAD comes out tomorrow. Don't forget to pick up your copy.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
Prince Andrew says he doesn't have the coronavirus and has never had contact with Prince Charles as he has been self isolating in Woking Pizza Express.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
Guardian: It's a boy! The Times: It's a boy! The Telegraph: It's a boy! Daily Mail: Has Kate lost the baby weight yet?! The Express: DIANA'S GHOST WILL BE PLEASED SAYS ANTI EU PSYCHIC
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
This is Monty. Monty just spent the last 10 minutes chasing his tail and now that his objective is complete he's just stood there like a weirdo not knowing what to do with his life.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
3 years
There are more Pret A Mangers in London than people who voted for Laurence Fox.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
5 years
I AM IN THE NORTH AGAIN. I GOT CHANGE BACK FROM A FIVER FOR A PINT AND HUGGED THE BARMAN. THREE PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW HAVE SAID HELLO TO ME. EVERY PUB HAS SO MANY DOGS. THE NORTH IS BRILLIANT.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
5 years
It's terrible to hear about Piers Morgan isn't it? Nothing's happened but it's just terrible whenever you hear about him.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
5 years
England: "White background, Red cross" Scotland: "Blue background, white x" *Wales giggling wildly in the corner* England: "Wales what's your flag" Wales: "MASSIVE. FUCKING. DRAGON."
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
In a grunge bar in Amsterdam and this guy is just sitting at the end of the bar in a rage.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
5 years
Dogs with human names will never not be hilarious. Dog on the tube this morning barked and its owner looked down at him and said GRAHAM in the most disappointed tone and frankly my day has peaked.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
@realDonaldTrump please don't mention us in your propaganda, we all hate you here.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
3 years
Looking forward to the new Matrix movie which I hope starts with this tweet on screen for 7 minutes.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
Damn New Zealand being normal, doing things well, having good leadership and nice election results while the rest of us live in disease circus nightmare land
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
5 years
"Alexa... my heart" "Playing achy breaky heart" "No... I'm having a heart attack" "Art attack is a 90s children's TV show..." "Alexa my arm is sore" "New alarm set for four" "Alexa for the love of fuck call me an ambulance" "Thank you, I will now refer to you as an ambulance"
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
The best thing about the ridiculous Trump balloon isn't the protest itself, its how much its pissing off the right people. The same people who routinely say people are too offended these days, are losing their shit, over a floating bag of air.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
With Glinner finally banned from twitter, let us all remember the only good thing he did for this website
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
I'm not saying she is completely evil but her shadow isn't helping her image #bbcqt
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 years
At least you've never had a night out so rough that you had to phone the Queen to apologise after.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
1 year
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@PolitlcsUK
Politics UK
1 year
🚨🚨 | BREAKING: The Tories are set to LOSE 231 SEATS at the next election
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
5 years
Boris Johnson: Absent for 9 votes on gay rights, voted against gay rights twice. Theresa May: Absent for 9 votes for gay rights, voted against gay rights 10 times. Both happy to partner with the DUP. Get to fuck with this exploitative bullshit
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
5 years
Today is #WorldSuicidePreventionDay , as a survivor I wanted to share the one quote that's always helped me. "You don't want to die, you just want to kill how you're feeling right now." You are valid, you are loved and help is out there. Be stubborn. Stick around.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
If you ever want to see what the real issues are in the UK simply check the rejected petitions section on the parliament website
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 years
Walking through The Shambles in York the other night I managed to get a picture of it with very few tourists and it may be one of my favourite pictures I've ever taken.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
"Welcome to our gander reveal party" "Don't you mean.." "no" Geese emerge from everywhere. No fireworks. Only geese. There are no genders only chaos.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
5 years
If Boris Johnson can look in the mirror every morning and think he is a good person then you can at least give yourself a fucking break and believe in yourself a bit
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
If you're just catching up with the internet today here is what you need to know
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
Trump would rather start a civil war than say that black people deserve to be alive. Johnson would rather look after his mate than protect you from a pandemic. Stop voting for people that do not care about you.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
@David_Cameron @Conservatives this is all your fault pig nonce
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
Hot singles in your area Hot singles now control the area Hot singles have created a perimeter Holy fuck the hot singles cannot be stopped
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
4 years
Not sure about you guys but I'm starting to think the government that says nurses don't deserve pay rises and that children should starve may not have the nation's best interests in mind.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
Hello @Marvel I can no longer be silent. I demand that you reshoot the scene in Thor 2 where Thor gets the tube. Greenwich is not 3 stops from Charing Cross. I have attached a script.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
2 years
Every #PMQs summed up in two images
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
9 years
A simple guide to washing machine symbols http://t.co/C5tGJs05RM
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
6 years
At this point Harry and Meghan should just fuck all this off and elope. Go to Vegas, get married by Elvis and just post a picture of them shitfaced in a taco bell with 'fuck the daily mail' written in mayo on the table.
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@TechnicallyRon
TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms)
7 years
"I love German beer" "Please shut up" "Like Carlsberg" "That's Danish" "Heineken" "Dutch" "Budweiser" "Thats you" "Guinness" "I hate you"
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