The Daily Show Couch
@TDSCouch
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Not good with sharp objects or children. Afraid of sharp children (They/Them)
The Shire
Joined August 2012
Daddy...
So...if I do really well on here I get to be President, yes?
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You first.
REMINDER: if you obstruct a law enforcement officer it is a federal crime and felony. If you lay a finger on law enforcement or destroy federal property you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Be smart.
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REMINDER: if you obstruct a law enforcement officer it is a federal crime and felony. If you lay a finger on law enforcement or destroy federal property you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Be smart.
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I lost a strawberry uncrustable somewhere and I'm quite distressed over it...
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I think these organic bananas are a little under ripe... way too green for me...
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The only people that are being misled into thinking @McDonalds McRib sandwich is actual pork ribs are the stupid people. I hope they have their names sewed inside their jackets, because they shouldn't be left unatended... https://t.co/RIzSrARW5T
independent.co.uk
The lawsuit argues the McRibβs name and rib-shaped patty mislead consumers and seeks nationwide and state-specific class action status for purchases over the past four years
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Pleased to share my 2025 recap! I'm so proud of everything that went down this year, it was the most chaotic year of my life but by far the most rewarding. Thank you for all your support in 2025, none of this would have been possible without you. What was your favorite shot?
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What is happening? Just got off the tram at @MCO and they didn't play the usual welcome message from @orlandomayor Buddy Dyer. Am I even IN Orlando????
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Well, this was surprising... Wordle 1,651 2/6* β¬π¨β¬π©β¬ π©π©π©π©π©
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As we close out another Christmas, I leave you with a final wish, for all who celebrate, my favorite Christmas song, the original and most favorite version... #MerryChristmas2025
https://t.co/XzWFA2yMu1
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From the ghost of Christmas past... and remembering The Colbert Report (The Reporrrrrre) @StephenAtHome
@colbertlateshow
@ColbertFeed
#MerryChristmas
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If you want to know how to wrap JIffy Pop.. This. This is how you do it. This is the way...
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Breaking News! It's officially Christmas Eve!
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So this popped up in my message list just now. Dad's been gone since 2024, and mom since 2013... I don't know what this is, there's no message, and I don't think I like it...
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BREAKING: SBWU baristas have set up a #CampContract! If Starbucks won't listen at the bargaining table or on the picket line, weβll be pretty hard to ignore on their front steps! #NoContractNoCoffee
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