Steve Dutzy
@SteveDutzy
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I love video games, Star Wars, and shouting MORTAL KOMBAT when couples argue at Walmart. Inquiries: [email protected] https://t.co/Zvg0tyUi8Q
Detroit, Michigan
Joined April 2009
HOT SINGLE GRANNIES IN YOUR AREA WANT YOU TO LOOK AT HOW TALL YOU'VE GOTTEN
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STUFF I'M GOOD AT: 1. Eating immense amounts of food 2. Sighing. 3. Eating immense amounts of food while sighing.
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[Thor carries Loki] Fury: What happened to him? Thor: Karaoke night turned into carry Loki night F: Don't do that. T: Loki Doki F: No T: OK
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This is the guy pushing Trump Bibles in Oklahoma schools.
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Episodes 8 and 9 of ANDOR Season 2 are two of the greatest episodes of television of all time.
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MAGA = the party that protects pedophiles
The Trump administration is officially moving to overturn a law that requires clergy to report child sexual abuse, saying it violates priests’ constitutional rights.
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Sometimes I catch myself laughing and having such a good time that I almost forget that life is fleeting and this is all meaningless.
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Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap and then order a pizza and watch a movie.
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Currently calculating what my salary would be if I got paid in .8 oz packets of fruit snacks.
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There are ZERO Waffle Houses in my area, so I don't even want to hear about your problems.
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Me: my love language is physical touch Hiring Manager: ok but again sir, this is an interview, please stop holding my hand
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My favorite part of Jeopardy was when Alex Trebek would ask the 3 nerds about their lives & then react to their responses with mild pity and disdain.
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me: *tries to befriend another human being* another human being: oh, no thank you
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The last person I went on a date with just got engaged. Meanwhile, I just ate an entire Extra Large Double Cheese Pizza in one sitting.
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right in the feels
Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.
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So the cats in the cradle, fine. Why do we have to bring the silver spoon and the man on the moon into the conversation?
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WIFE: Hurry up or we'll get caught in the rain. ME: [sipping a pina colada] I would like that.
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