Shlepping Nachos
@ShleppingN
Followers
2,586
Following
2,247
Media
834
Statuses
6,733
Tweets about nachos and life. Mazel Tov🌮 🇮🇱 🇲🇽 🌮 🇮🇱 🇲🇽 🌮 🇮🇱 🇲🇽 🌮
Joined April 2020
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
#ปิ่นภักดิ์EP8
• 588470 Tweets
TLP HOT WRIST INTERTWINED
• 583230 Tweets
Arsenal
• 222653 Tweets
ارسنال
• 203025 Tweets
#GameofSixTONES
• 156840 Tweets
Lando
• 88942 Tweets
Norris
• 77130 Tweets
Manchester City
• 47730 Tweets
Haaland
• 47340 Tweets
#Number_1
• 46121 Tweets
BBS KAI
• 42224 Tweets
Man City
• 35001 Tweets
SPILL THE FEELS NEW VER 01
• 32063 Tweets
Ricciardo
• 30373 Tweets
McLaren
• 29166 Tweets
Recipe
• 28837 Tweets
ツイステ
• 25976 Tweets
Rodri
• 23602 Tweets
Calafiori
• 22244 Tweets
#MCIARS
• 21253 Tweets
Happy Fall
• 21101 Tweets
Leverkusen
• 16809 Tweets
Fate復刻
• 14145 Tweets
“Jews are 0.2% of the world’s population but they’ve won 98.6% of Chulent making contests.”
“How do you explain that?!?”
25
53
598
It’s going to be awkward when Gen-Z discovers that Obama killed Bin Laden.
13
38
530
Inside each yarmulka: “Funeral of Pope Benedict XVI, 12 Tevet, 5783”
15
32
413
What is wrong with people these days? That’s NOT how you spell matbucha!
39
14
389
“Because you chose to hit Chris Rock instead of speaking to Chris Rock, you are not allowed to attend the after party!!”
14
29
333
Remember, just because the speakers are done the rally isn’t over until after the announcements and Adon Olam.
13
15
327
Thanks to a very unfortunate autocorrect I am now booked on a Pesach Pogrom instead of a Pesach Program and I’m really not sure what to pack.
32
14
270
I heard Costco is selling blue checks but it comes in a 3-pack with a white check and a brown check.
2
31
251
Just once, can TV producers make the stereotypical Jew a Litvak?
11
9
211
What will they think of next? Latke shaped meat patties?
10
6
148
Sure the Ten Plagues were effective but did Moses even try economic sanctions first?
9
19
144
I cannot believe we’ve reached a point where Jews are rooting for the German police.
BREAKING:
Anti-Israel protesters clash with German police in Berlin
1K
2K
10K
8
12
134
The wife won’t let me go to Uman so I’m stuck doing drugs and Ukrainian hookers at home. Rosh Hashana just won’t feel the same this year.
12
0
138
Your favorite bible verse, but with ‘bro’ added. I’ll start.
“Then an angel of Hashem called to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!” And he answered, “Here I am, bro.”
37
6
114
REPORT: Turns out the Honda Odyssey convoy in Lakewood, NJ is not politically motivated, just carpool drop off.
3
6
113
At precisely the moment on Yom Kippur when the Miami Boys Choirs’ shirts change from red satin to white cotton, it is a omen that our sins were forgiven.
4
3
108
ELON MUSK: “Are you sure this is a good idea, changing the company’s name to “ech”?
CHAIM MORDCHE BRECHER: “Trust me, people will love it!”
8
5
92
Sure they beat YU and ended the 50-game win streak....but are they happy?
3
3
74
“The editors at HaModia express our condolences on the petira of her majesty Queen Elizabeth II.”
7
4
81
“Thanks to the
@8minutedaf
, Virginia man learns 157 blatt of gemara while stuck in traffic for 21 hours.” (YWN)
4
6
74
I’m pretty sure Alex Jones’ lawyers are the ones who accidentally invited Bar Kamtza to the party. 🤦♀️
4
5
73
Wow, Impossible Kitniyos™️ are sooo good! You’d never guess these aren’t real beans.
7
3
67
Shlissel challah seems like a lot of fun until Motzei Shabbos when you’re trying to poop out the key.
2
4
66
The CDC now says only two Shalom Aleichems are required at kiddush levanah.
0
4
65
My favorite Chol Hamoed activity is approaching random Lubavitchers and asking if they’ve put on tefillin today.
1
4
61
Sergeant O’Hara from the Ontario Police canine unit is wondering why his license plate is trending on frum twitter.
1
7
66
“Powerful cabal of Rabbis who control the world unable to stop people from talking during services.” (YWN)
2
4
65
REPORT: “Christian missionary disguised as Orthodox Jew arouses suspicion when he tries to tovel giant wooden cross at the keilim mikva.”
5
4
65
Today people in NYC are scared to publicly wear a kippa or Magen David, but just a few months ago it was common to see men on the subway or supermarket proudly displaying their bris milah.
3
9
65
LOL Yeshiva U’s starting center is a nazir and opposing teams can’t figure out a way to stop them ✂️💈💇♂️
5
2
57
Alone at the Chosson’s Tisch while all of your friends are enjoying the shmorg.
3
2
57
Remember, the loans aren’t forgiven until Biden symbolically transfers the debt to a scapegoat and throws it off a rocky cliff in the wilderness.
4
7
61
@ModernTalmud
These costumes are so authentic. One guy came dressed as a chassid and spoke perfect Yiddish.
2
0
55
Misinformed FFB leaves parve cookies and almond milk for Santa in case he is still fleishig
1
3
54
Training for Aleinu during mussaf. We should all prepare for our tefillot with such intensity!
4
5
53
REPORT: “Ramallah Boys Chorus accuses Miami Boys Choir of ripping off their songs.”
1
2
49
If the Torah allowed it, most of the oilam would have gedolim tattoos
12
3
57
According to a little known custom, a donut on the seder plate and bread during the meal is symbolic of the chametz we can’t eat during Pesach.
Follow me for other obscure traditions!
3
2
49
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the Brachos Bee....
2
1
48
REPORT: “FBI agents are searching for classified info in Biden’s home using a candle, a feather and a wooden spoon.”
5
1
51
Accidentally said hi to someone in shul so at this point I might as well just eat, right?
2
3
45
“Arba minim support line. How can I help you?”
“My Esrog isn’t working.”
“Try turning it upside down and then right side up before saying the bracha.”
“That worked! Thanks!”
1
3
50
I planned on spending one hour on TikTok but a miracle happened and here I am eight hours later.
1
2
44
This tweet is recited responsively, chazzan then congregation.
5
2
46
Hot take: Chabad would be a lot less popular if instead of wrapping tefillin on strangers, they offered circumcisions. 🤔
9
1
44
If the Talmud were written today, the rabbis would be debating how many pubic hairs are required if you want to buy an AK-47.
3
3
43
“JK Rowling admits the nursing home administrator at St Oswalds is probably Jewish.” (YWN)
2
5
44
When the first plague arrives and you can’t sell that gorgeous penthouse overlooking the Nile.
2
6
44
NBA players cryptically requesting trades like asking a non-Jew to turn on a light on Shabbos.
“This room is kinda dark” 😉
“Want me to turn on a light?”
“No, I think it just needs a 7x All-Star who averaged 32.2 points last year”
“So you don’t want me to turn on the light?”
2
4
44
Now I understand why the Russian version of U’Nesaneh Tokef mentions falling out of an open window or having your plane shot down.
4
3
48
Non-Jews go crazy about Thanksgiving, bro we eat turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, Mac-n-cheese, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie every Friday night.
5
0
37
“Hey Siri, set a reminder to wipe out the memory of Amalek.”
0
4
45
Cant wait to see how many Orthodox guys get drafted into the NBA tonight!
3
3
40
Rabboisai, I suggest you only speak to The Rock and don’t hit The Rock!
3
4
44
The artist formerly known as Kid Rock now insists on being called by his Jewish name, Kid Yerachmiel.
3
3
40
You know your shadchan is learning yevamos when she suggests a guy who’s nothing special but has a really hot brother.
1
3
37
No, I will not try your cream cheese and lox sufganiyot
10
0
41
I was offline yesterday. Did anyone see that video of Lebron at a Jewish wedding?
8
0
36
When the Shadchan tells you he’s tall and wears a hat but leaves out some other details....
3
6
41
B”H it’s just wedding shtick 😅 when I saw that guy driving a forklift I was worried that (Chas v’Shalom) he had a job 🚚
0
0
41
IMPORTANT COMMUNITY MESSAGE ABOUT THIS EXTRAVAGANT MISHLOACH MANOT!!!!
I will be out from 10-12 am delivering shalach manos…feel free to drop it off any other time. Thanks!
4
1
40
Meets chabadnik
“Excuse me sir, are you Jewish?”
“I’m literally wearing tefillin!”
“I apologize. I didn’t see your kippa.”
2
2
36