☀️ Jon Schwarz ☀️
@schwarz
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☀️ I am a longtime high-functioning malcontent ☀️ Old Intercept work here: ☀️
Joined August 2008
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Pinned Tweet
I am 100% not kidding about this
It's unlikely that I'll die via internecine violence, but if I do, I want everyone to come to my funeral dressed in chicken costumes to illustrate the core absurdity of human politics
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The fact that scientists were right to warn for decades about a pandemic makes me wonder if they might be right about global warming too
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As Biden cancels (some) student debt, remember why the debt exists. A key Reagan advisor warned in 1970 that free college was producing the dangerously explosive "dynamite" of an "educated proletariat," and "we have to be selective on who we allow to go through higher education":
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In a 2007 book, Shinzo Abe explained that he became conservative because he was angry that "some people" called his grandfather a war criminal for his actions during World War II. (His grandfather was a war criminal.)
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The most amazing thing about the catastrophic US healthcare system is that the solution was invented long ago in other countries. It's like we're refusing to use wheels.
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There was no way to predict Trump would act like this in office except for everything he'd ever done his entire life
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Kudos to humanity for manuevering ourselves into a situation where all our lives depend on the wisdom of Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump
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If you bought $1,000 of bitcoin the day Matt Damon's "Fortune favors the brave!" commercial came out, it would now be worth $375
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1. Biden wins the 2020 nomination
2. Sanders does more rallies for Biden than Biden does for himself
3. Biden loses to Trump
4. This is the fault of Sanders & "the left"
5. The Democrats lose the 2022 midterms
6. This is the fault of Sanders & "the left”
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We've considered everything carefully and come up with a plan:
1. Reopen colleges
2. Everyone gets covid
3. Shut down colleges
4. Send thousands of infected students back home to infect every place in America
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There have been a lot of pictures like this through human history, and in none of them did the soldiers represent the good guys
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If you bought $1000 of a bitcoin ETF when Matt Damon's "Fortune Favors the Brave!" crypto ad premiered on October 28 last year, you would now have $554.
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Harry Reid was an extremely unusual Democratic congressional leader, in that he decided 77 was old enough to retire
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I can't understand why Terry McAuliffe wasn't swept to victory by voters grateful to Democrats for preserving the filibuster
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BREAKING: White House aides say Biden is "incandescent with rage" over Netanyahu's strike on Iran, and that the president vows "ironclad support for Israel with absolutely no red lines"
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If you think Jared can't be this stupid, remember his dad hired a prostitute to seduce his brother-in-law & taped it & sent it to his sister
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Only Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats could go into an election year with a call for the FBI to investigate their own party's base
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Who can forget the inspiring 2020 Democratic Party slogan, "Vote Blue and We'll Raise the Minimum Wage to $15 an Hour Unless the Senate Parliamentarian Says We Can't Which We Could Overrule But We Won't"
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15 days ago I joked that Trump would sign the coronavirus stimulus with a bunch of pens and then hand them out, but I honestly never imagined that was possible in reality
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Tesla stock is now down 49% since Elon Musk offered to buy Twitter in April, losing over half a trillion dollars in market valuation.
Just in the three and a half weeks since Musk took over Twitter on October 28, Tesla stock is down 27%, losing $190 billion in value.
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You may wonder how Elon Musk can be so consistently hilarious. One key technique he uses is to come up with prospective jokes, ask his employees if they're funny, and then fire anyone who says no.
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I admire Silicon Valley libertarianism, because it's based in the firm, clear principle that it's illegal for them to lose money
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I am a Classical Liberal, by which I mean I am unaware there are any such things as history or power
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Who else besides Trump has made their son-in-law a top deputy? Well, there's Castro, Saddam Hussein, and Mussolini
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Twitter froze my account in 2019 because David Duke got mad at me
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Breitbart editor in public vs. Breitbart editor in private
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As part of our commitment to the marketplace of ideas, today we publish op-eds on both sides of this debate
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Another interesting thing about the milieu in which Shinzo Abe grew up is that his father volunteered to be a kamikaze pilot. But World War II ended before he finished training.
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Only in America could the Kushners go in just two generations from desperate refugees to shutting out desperate refugees
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1. Elton John leaves Twitter citing "misinformation"
2. Elon Musk asks him what misinformation he means
3. Right-wing freak tells Musk Elton John's account was probably hijacked by his "marxist social media person"
4. Musk appears to agree with this
One might call this ironic
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I had no idea Carl Reiner was on a path to being a sewing machine repairman until his brother told him about a free New Deal acting class. What a different country we could have if we wanted to spend our money on stuff like that instead of death machines.
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The murder rate in Haiti is actually about 1/10th that of Baltimore (& barely higher than the murder rate in the US overall). I wonder why Tucker Carlson called Baltimore "a little bit of Haiti"? What connects them in his mind? I guess we'll never know.
Tucker Carlson calls Baltimore "one of the worst places in the western hemisphere, it's a little bit of Haiti in the mid-Atlantic."
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It's rare to see the Fed speaking this clearly about how it works, but here the president of the Kansas City branch says Americans have too much money and that's a problem the Fed's going to solve.
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As you'd expect given Shinzo Abe's background, he flirted with the Japanese equivalent of holocaust denial
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I guess John McCain wants to be sure that, on his life's final scoreboard, he's killed more Americans than Vietnamese
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It’s easy to feel great respect and admiration for John McCain as long as you believe that Vietnamese, Iraqis, Yemenis, etc., etc. aren't human
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If Malcolm Gladwell really wants to expose New Yorker festival-goers to ideas that will take them out of their comfort zone, he should organize a bunch of panels with their nannies and doormen
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ISRAELI GOVERNMENT: Our goal is to ethnically cleanse the human animal Palestinians from Gaza
US MEDIA: Biden administration uncertain of Israeli government goals
ISRAELI GOVERNMENT: We emphasize that our goal is ethnic cleansing
US MEDIA: What are Israel's goals? Who can say.
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Colin Jost is the son of a doctor and engineer, went to a private school on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, went to Harvard, was hired at SNL immediately after graduating and has never had another adult job
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What I like about this is Jesus owning a lot of suitcases full of his stuff
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STATEMENT:
I am withdrawing from all ventures with the Saudi government until they go back to killing people I’ll never meet at a party
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It's taken years of hard work off the radar of the media, but we're starting to see the fruits of Melania Trump's anti-cyberbullying campaign
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It Happened to Me: Breitbart Wrote an Article Illustrating My Point
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It seems inevitable that Elon Musk and the ADL will come to an understanding in which Twitter users CAN engage in virulent anti-semitism but CANNOT criticize the Israeli government, thus giving both sides what they care about most
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"Why President Sanders Makes Me Miss Donald Trump" by David Frum
We can pencil this in on the Atlantic's calendar for April 2021.
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History is written by the victors, except somehow for the American Civil War
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RIP Desmond Tutu. I once saw a professor at a Canadian university condemn Tutu for comparing Israel's treatment of Palestinians to apartheid. I emailed the professor and asked him if he understood apartheid better than Tutu, and he responded that yes, he did.
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Americans used to need death squads to steal this quantity of money from Salvadorans
El Salvador just bought the dip! 🇸🇻
500 coins at an average USD price of ~$30,744 🥳
#Bitcoin
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CLINTON: Who cares how much money I took, money didn't affect Obama.
VOX: It did though.
CLINTON: Sure but it's always been like that.
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Luke Thompson, the guy who kicked off the dumb campaign finance smears of
@AOC
, used to work for the Jeb! Super PAC Right to Rise USA.
Right to Rise was just hit with one of the biggest fines in FEC history for illegally taking $1.3 mil in Chinese money:
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If you're curious why NBC's Richard Engel is so upset about the US withdrawing from Afghanistan, he talks honestly in his book War Journal about how he knew the Iraq War was going to be great for the careers of people like him
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13. Cotton’s nuclear attack on Iran leads to China nuking America
14. This is the fault of Sanders & "the left”
15. Humanity goes extinct
16. This is the fault of Sanders & “the left”
17. Earth is run by lovely super-intelligent squirrels
18. All credit goes to corporate Dems
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This is the platonic ideal of America's culture wars. 20,000 people massacred in Gaza, and we must pay attention to a (apparently false) claim about the name of the couscous salad at Yale.
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By the way, Stephen Breyer just turned 82 on Tuesday. Thank you to both him and Ruth Bader Ginsburg for refusing to retire under Obama, it's working out great for us.
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You could teach an entire class about this one Bill Maher tweet during Israel's 2014 attack on Gaza. It has everything: hatred of women, hatred of the Other, contempt for the powerless, love of hurting them — and illustrates why these things so often go together.
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Jerry Falwell, Jr. seems like an awful person, but given his family, I feel like you have to grade him on a curve. This is from "Strength for the Journey," a memoir by his father Jerry Falwell, Sr.
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The liberal media can be literally body-slammed by the Trumpist right and come up telling you how both sides are equally bad
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I feel like it's a bad idea for the National Archives to literally erase American history
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It's well, well worth watching all of this exchange between Laura Ingraham and former CIA director James Woolsey. Woolsey acknowledges that the US has meddled in other countries' elections in the past and is doing so now, and both he and Ingraham find this laudable and funny.
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Tesla's stock price how now fallen 46% since Elon Musk's bid to buy Twitter became public on April 14. This has reduced Tesla's market value by almost half a trillion dollars. (For comparison, the S&P's fallen about 15% during the same time.)
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The middle class thinks Medicaid is healthcare for the poor. They don't realize most of it goes to pay for nursing home coverage for them.
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Recall that at least five of Fetterman's Pennsylvania constituents were injured in Israeli bombings in Gaza, with one 17-year-old being permanently maimed. One of their relatives said, "they are treating us like we’re nothing." Fetterman insists on this.
In this war against Hamas—no conditions for Israel.
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It's difficult for the West to understand the irrationality of the Arab world, where it's part of their culture to get mad when someone kills members of their family
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The Iraq War began 18 years ago today. 29 of the 50 Democratic senators had voted for it the previous fall, including:
Joe Biden
Chuck Schumer
Hillary Clinton
John Kerry
Dianne Feinstein
82 of 208 Democratic representatives voted for it, including:
Steny Hoyer
Adam Schiff
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Imagine a mirror image of the Anat Schwartz scandal — a Palestinian reporter liking tweets that said "turn Israel into a slaughterhouse." Joseph Kahn, the executive editor of the NY Times, would already have resigned. There would plausibly be congressional hearings.
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By me:
The origin of student debt: Reagan adviser warned free college would create a dangerous “educated proletariat”
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7. Pete Buttigieg is crushed by Tom Cotton in 2024
8. This is the fault of Sanders & "the left”
9. Cotton puts Sanders & “the left” in camps, where they die of typhus
10. This is the fault of Sanders & "the left”
11. Cotton nukes Iran
12. This is the fault of Sanders & "the left”
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One way we can tell Elon Musk is sincerely outraged by inaccuracy in the media is that he's sitting next to Rupert Murdoch at the Super Bowl
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Jimmy Carter turned 96 years old today. I've always loved this picture, with the four other presidents putting as big a distance as possible between themselves and Carter in case being a decent human being is contagious.
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The murders of students at Kent State and Jackson State in May 1970 were preceded by exactly this kind of incitement.
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I find it hard to come to terms with the reality that the world is run by people like this
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1. Today is Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day, and Joe Biden just acknowledged that it in fact did happen. The Armenian Genocide may seem very far away, but here’s a short story from my family about how if you pay attention you’ll see everything in history is two inches from you.
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Here's Jeff Bezos, owner of the Washington Post, yukking it up back in March with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, whose government appears to have just murdered a Washington Post columnist.
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I've gotten many angry responses to this article about all the times Israel has rejected peace with Palestinians. Each time I've asked what specifically they think is inaccurate or misrepresented. But no one's responded.
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75 years ago today the UN passed Resolution 194, which states Palestinian "refugees wishing to return to their homes & live at peace with their neighbors should be permitted to do so at the earliest practicable date." It's never happened & the anniversary's been barely marked.
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By
@kenklippenstein
& me:
Leaked Bank of America memo: “We hope” conditions for American workers will get worse
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Nothing's changed since Adam Smith said this in The Wealth of Nations in 1776:
Funny how price increases are blamed on modest wage increases instead of executive compensation
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EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE of Boris Johnson being removed from office
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We'll never settle the "stupid or lying" question about the right's propagandists. But as Ann Coulter demonstrates here, you should never underestimate the degree to which they are just super super dumb.
For people under 60, coronavirus is LESS dangerous than the seasonal flu:
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When Sen. Mike Lee described Harlan Crow as "one of the most decent, thoughtful, insightful people any person could ever hope to meet" he forgot to add "He also gives me lots of money."
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Remember that in Richard Engel's book "War Journal" he said that before the invasion of Iraq he knew it "was a land where careers were going to be made" and that being there for war was his "big break"
Perhaps the biggest risk-calculation/moral dilemma of the war so far. A massive Russian convoy is abt 30 miles from Kyiv. The US/NATO could likely destroy it. But that would be direct involvement against Russia and risk, everything. Does the West watch in silence as it rolls?
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The weird thing about Barack Obama is that he had the talent and timing to be one of the most important presidents in US history, comparable to FDR, but instead he just wanted to get $80 million from Netflix
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When Hank Aaron was getting close to breaking Babe Ruth's home run record in 1973, the sports editor of the Atlanta Journal ordered an obituary pre-written for Aaron in case he was assassinated
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The funny thing about the phrase "fortune favors the brave" is that the Roman author Pliny the Elder famously said this just before setting sail toward Mt. Vesuvius mid-eruption, and then immediately died
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This article says this diner can't find line cooks who'll work for $21,000, which is beneath the poverty line for a family of three.
Dale's Diner in Waterville, Ohio, closed last week. More customers than anytime in its 10-year history. The problem? No applicants for its many job openings.
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Jeffrey Goldberg wants the Atlantic to be "a big tent for ideas" so he hired someone who thinks women should be hanged for having abortions. But I guarantee there will never be room in the Atlantic's big tent for anyone who thinks Bush & Cheney should be hanged for invading Iraq.
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People like to talk about Covid deniers dying of Covid, but Tom Wolfe wrote a whole book about how evolution doesn't exist and then quickly died of an infection from bacteria that had evolved to survive antibiotics
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Back in 2006 NBC refused to air ads for Shut Up and Sing, a documentary about the Dixie Chicks, because (in NBC's words) the ads were "disparaging to President Bush." Since this was political correctness from the right, it's been totally forgotten.
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Hitler was a classical liberal until someone called him a Nazi
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It's boring to repeat something so obvious, but if it were the lawyer for any Democratic president proving the president had, in office, written a check for reimbursement of a payoff to a porn star, Republicans would by this point today have already burned down the White House
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The thing to understand about Bari Weiss is that her guiding principle, her North Star, is always to hold to account the most powerful members of society: Palestinians and trans teenagers.
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I too am concerned that the fragile vase I have thrown at the concrete wall with all my strength has broken by
@scotusreporter
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By me:
The Democratic Party must harness the legitimate rage of Americans. Otherwise, the right will use it with horrifying results.
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"She said, I'm going to have you fired. I had two people say that to me today. Who do these people think they are? I want to lean over and say, I'm going to have you killed."—David Sedaris in "Santaland Diaries" in 1992 about working as a Macy's elf
.
@DavidSedaris
demands the right to fire others
The humorist suggests the power of a "citizen's dismissal," like a citizen's arrest, could revolutionize customer service
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