Sam 👁️
@SamtheNightOwl
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hi, i'm sam | commie sympathizer | big fan of philosophy | an absurdist at heart | cautious optimist | my private alt for mufos is @SamtheTranquil
Los Angeles | he/him
Joined November 2020
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baklava, if made correctly, is probably the single greatest dessert in the history of humanity
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children deserve parents who want them, don't they?
Genuinely don’t understand people who adamantly don’t want kids.
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why would anyone want to work a job like this
Why aren’t we encouraging our girls to pursue jobs like this? We need true equality
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one time in college, i knew a dude who once told me, in stone-cold seriousness, that you could solve racism by genetic engineering to make everyone in the world the same skin color. anyway he's studying to be a medical scientist at the Johns Hopkins school of medicine lmao
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when exactly did standup comedians become the whiniest bitches on earth
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sick and tired of this world being ruled by early birds. night owls need to rise up
Many of you don’t realize that your problems would go away if you slept from 10PM-7AM
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i hate this thing where college grads implicitly assert that they don't deserve poverty wages but people without degrees do. i hate it so much
Having a degree and getting paid anything under $20-$25 is disrespectful. Entry level or not
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like 95% of serious behavioral problems many students exhibit in schools is caused by this country's apathy to poverty, it's insane
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after i decided to quit coffee, i went on r/decaf to learn about any possible benefits to this abstinence from caffeine.
that subreddit is almost exactly like r/nofap.
no joke. it's bizarre
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this was the most intentional-looking pedestrian collision of all time
OFFICER HIT: Video obtained by KTLA appears to show the moment a Los Angeles Police Department cruiser rushing to the end of a stolen vehicle pursuit in Sun Valley strikes a fellow officer running across the street. Full video & details:
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I know we’re “breaking generational curses” but our parents got one thing right: don’t let your kids go on sleepovers.
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so, 1 of my coworkers in accounting casually admitted to me that she's probably an alcoholic. i said that if you're not drinking every day, you're probably not an alcoholic. she said she doesn't drink every day, but when she does, she kills almost a whole wine bottle. i said "oh"
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frats should be outlawed lol
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even the biggest assholes on earth will still ask you "what floor?" when they're near the buttons
A man walked into the elevator and said “six please”… guess I’m a bellhop now?
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one of the funniest things i randomly think about is that jfk requested for the top of the convertible to be drawn down and the secret service strongly advised against it and he totally ignored their warning
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my unironic hot take on abortion is that 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 a fetus were a person in the same sense that i am or you are, it's still very much morally permissible to have an abortion
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i love matching with tons of beautiful women then finding out they'e like a couple of years older than me and becoming extremely depressed over this
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ok so if you've ever seen the term "functional illiteracy" and wondered what it looks like in practice, this demonstration will give you a good idea, sadly
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so out of curiosity and boredom i started listening to a true crime podcast to see why people love this genre of media so much and man that shit is so obviously designed to make you buckle in terror whenever you leave your house lol this shit is really bad for you
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i can't count how many times i've seen a celebrity on there be visibly impressed with the originality of the questions shaun presents and say something like "wow, no one has ever asked me question before"
mfs just say anything on here
God the hot wings guy is one of the worst interviewers of all time lmfao
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under communism, we will no longer have those fucked up nightmares where you think you're about to graduate from high school/college but suddenly find out that you never attended some class you were supposed to and needed that class in order to graduate,
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this person is mad because a teacher confiscated their phone last week
teachers deserve all of this and 10x worse when you realize the total amount of life hours wasted away in a stale fluorescent lighting prison learning nothing instead of being in the sunlight and playing with your friends or developing real skills
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@SlurricaneH
english has one of the largest vocabularies in the world and she didn't cite any of these studies by name or even define what complexity is in the context of linguistics. she just said a bunch of things with confidence and it makes it seem like she's right. powerful BSing here
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thinking about that time when i underwent my first colonoscopy and the anesthesiologist was like "alright so i'm gonna give you some propofol to knock you out. it's the same drug that killed michael jackson but don't worry i know what i'm doing" and i was like "what"
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what is it about the suburbs that makes people so mentally ill and paranoid
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there's actually scientific evidence that using corporal punishment against children makes them much more likely to engage in domestic violence against their future romantic partners. why do you think so many abusers are like that
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@RepJimBanks
I appreciate your naked honesty about the predatory recruiting tactics the military uses and how they are undermined by investment in our people
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you thought you saw garrison at his horniest when drawing AOC or kamala Harris. you thought wrong
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i love landlords. there's no hot water in my bathroom whatsoever and i call the after-hours number to request an emergency work-order. my landlord asks if i need the hot water *right now.*
you simply cannot comprehend how much restraint i exerted in that moment. i love landlords
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man, idk what it is about me that compels people to reveal some of the darkest elements of their lives. i don't have a problem with that, but it never stops being surreal to experience
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the odds of dying in a car accident in your lifetime is 0.93%, or 1 in 107
odds of dying in a roller coaster, based on the most dangerous estimate i could find online would be
0.00000588235%.
or roughly 1 in 17 million
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yes we should encourage gender parity in a field that causes a lot of injuries, seriously contributes to climate change, and doesn't even pay that well to put up with this kind of bullshit
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our society really hates teachers man lmao
we gotta talk more about how elementary school teachers run psychological social expeirments on their students that would be deemed too cruel to be done in a clinical setting
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unrelated fun fact: Einstein wrote a letter to a philosopher in 1915 in which he said that there was a very real possibility that had he not read David Hume, he would not have discovered the theory of relativity
It always surprises me how gleeful non-STEM grads are to subject engineering students to a course load that's 25% humanities.
The reverse is never true -- I don't think liberal arts colleges should subject students to Thermodynamics & E&M!
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@NielsKnk
i work in a high school and i have to say that it's extremely weird to think about the high school experience in this way, and even weirder that you think most other people do
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i don't think it's too much of a stretch to say that widespread incompetence at teaching math fundamentals in elementary school is a big reason why so many people don't like math when they get older and feel uncomfortable with it as adults. this should be a big deal to parents
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@eeberquist
@w1feguy
14 or 18 would've worked for me but 6 means i need to somehow act convincingly like a 6 year old and also deal with the severe lack of autonomy. that fucking blows
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@BigLunchMan
the "are you fucking kidding me" is a great way to signal that you can't handle rejection lmao
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i think we should ban all private schools, even religious schools, and we should also bring back mandatory bussing. that's the only way to enforce brown vs board of education correctly
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i wish more people would ask questions about stuff like this. example: "why don't you ever hear about people getting sick from keeping a toothbrush in their bathroom?"
there's a pretty obvious answer here
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I've talked about this before, but approximately 1 in 5 American adults are functionally illiterate. it says it indirectly in the QT, but it's worth clarifying. that means they're not good enough at reading to complete many basic tasks in everyday life, like reading a recipe
Did you know:
168,811,352 Americans can't even read to an eighth grade level. That's 52% of the population.
And out of that 52%, over half of those (just under 85 million) can't read to a fourth grade level. In contrast, 98% of Cubans can read to a 12th grade level.
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supreme court precedent this, supreme court precedent that...
there's precedent to just ignore the supreme court, and more people should know that
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@tinywienerbabe
Sasha you should've stolen it and claim it as your own. what is he gonna do
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one thing that kills me about people being so flippant and evil about casually starting WWIII with russia was that even reagan took the threat of nuclear war deadly seriously & actually worked with the soviets to reduce nuclear stockpiles. how are you gonna be crazier than reagan
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personally, I'd rather see oil pipelines destroyed by explosives than soup on art but hey that's just me lol
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it should be illegal to require references for jobs. very stressful to deal with and also pointless for employers because any competent person will figure out how to give you bogus but plausible references
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it just fucking kills me inside how regularly people will say that the nukes were necessary to force japan to surrender when it's not at all consensus among historians. like good fucking grief we are so easily propagandized as a people it is fucking insane
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the job title for this work is apparently called "roughneck". go look up how much they make and tell me this is worth it
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i'm surprised nobody in the therapy discourse has mentioned that the idea that bad people can weaponize therapy for their own ends was something explored very deeply by The Sopranos
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this is not faked i promise. i genuinely owe the united states government one dollar
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I've seen many children at work and I've wondered if their parents wanted them
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one of the wildest things i've ever learned about contemporary fatherhood is that only like 3% of dads have never changed a diaper. back in 1982, it was 43%
One thing I can say is our generation of fathers is better than the generation before us
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your kid will be alright because he comes from money. it's ok. no need to get extremely mad over this. find a bigger problem to complain about than your son needlessly asking for fee waivers and getting dunked on at the office please
Y'all. I'm annoyed. My son asked at his school if there's a waiver for senior fees that cover his yearbook and graduation gown. Dude at the office said to him: "Didn't you just come back from summer in Italy?"
Now, why is a grown man pocketwatching my child?
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i think it's pretty cool that no one can seem to agree as to whether or not cover letters are worth your time when applying for jobs
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one of the funniest thing i've learned about joseph stalin was that he was a big fan of john wayne movies. the 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘵 thing i've learned about him is that he wanted to have john wayne *assassinated* because of his vocal opposition to communism
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this website will be fucking insufferable on the 20th anniversary of 9/11. many main characters on the horizon--i can feel it in my soul
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thinking about how ruth bader ginsburg attended a wedding a few weeks before she died. in a pandemic.
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we don't advocate for the prohibition of most other elective surgeries, like, say, lasik eye surgery because some people regret undergoing them. why should we prohibit sex reassignment surgery then? haven't seen a good answer to this question
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hi! if you're reading this, i'd like you to know that there are microscopic insects crawling on your eyelashes right now.
there's also a limit set by the FDA on maximum allowed bits of dead bugs in your food because it is impossible to avoid insects. alright good night
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transphobes are some of the funniest monsters known to humanity
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twitter is a funny place sometimes. like i wish my mind was as simple and beautiful as OP's is.
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@punished_cait
the absurdity the hate for Skyler takes a whole new dimension when you learn that the actress who played her actually got death threats IRL for it
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even people at McDonald's deserve to get paid like $50 an hour for all the shit they do. my hot-ass take
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some of the darkest parts of people's souls have shown themselves on here these past couple of days on this website specifically. people literally dunked on a right winger for losing his child to a mass shooting and pretend they didn't do it for clout
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@mediumproof
medical bankruptcy is something that just doesn't exist in the 1st world other than in america and ben just doesn't seem to know that
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I urge everyone not to make fun of him for this because it's not his fault he can't read well. the education system failed him
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i read about this in a history class i took as a college sophomore and the author was clearly trying his hardest not to dunk on jfk as a dumbass for that
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it's very concerning how many commenters here go straight to corporal punishment as the solution to this problem. not enough folks asking why she's recording him, what she does off-camera, how he came to be this way, and so on. most people really aren't fit to be parents
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there's this famous family Cuban bakery in the LA area that's run by a bunch of gusanos and it's so funny every time I eat this shit because I think of Fidel Castro and I thank him for making this experience possible
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there are people who would kill their fucking mothers to get a single match on tinder lmao you have nothing legitimate to complain about if you're getting lots of matches on tinder/bumble/whatever
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this would horrify pro-lifers, to which i say: good, fuck you
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@burkencraft
why in the world would a rational person make a decision to accept an empirical claim about the health effect of a given substance on the basis of a youtube video
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sorry there is just way too much rape happening in frat houses for me to budge on this
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twitter would be a lot less obnoxious if Americans didn't read at like 7th grade level
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@milfnokids
we live in a lonely society. any efforts to fight off loneliness are to be commended, not mocked
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a philosopher named Judith Jarvis Thomson wrote a famous paper on abortion that argues this exact premise, and i find it fairly compelling as an argument. you guys should read it, it's cool and based
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so, who in america will do something absolutely heroic about those 6 people
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the first time i took an edible in my life, it was at college and i was so fucking baked that i thought i would be high forever and i started writing a mental apology note to my family where i told them i'd have to drop out of college and they would need to care for me forever
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i had a feeling my employer wasn't taking enough from my paychecks a while back so i manually made some adjustments to a level that felt right. turns out i accidentally did what finance people love: making my tax return as close to zero for what i owe/am owed as is possible
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I'm just now learning that there are some americans on this website who are deeply saddened by the assassination of shinzo abe. why
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love to have a long-lasting grudge against your 1st grade teacher cuz you were not being very nice that day
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@Poster_american
the funniest conspiracy theory i have ever heard of is that a secret service agent riding behind kennedy accidentally killed him while handling service weapon in response to hearing the second shot that struck the president
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lmao you could've said the same thing about americans re: gay marriage 20 years ago or civil rights 65 years ago. who cares what the majority thinks
60% of Americans believe gender is biological. Smearing the view of the majority of Americans as bigotry and trying to ban it from debate in the public sphere is not about human rights. It's about a tiny college-educated elite believing it has the right to control public opinion.
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