last proud mama post on here (ever??): kindergartener's teacher says in conference she's "by far the most advanced in the class academically" and already met all her end-of-year targets in Q1. go tell all your friends: daughters of single moms are bringing down the house.

Anyway I can’t be here in good conscience right now. Gonna give it a few hours and deactivate. Real ones know where to come find me.

My fellow Americans. I’m sorry to say it’s now our democratic duty to help him destroy this website

(Please do not make the lewd analogies between lovers and horses that I have very naively made glaringly available to you all with this dumb story thank u).

When I was a kid learning to ride horses my dad used to get so mad bc whenever the horse got a little testy I would simply throw myself out of the saddle and let the horse run away. This is still my attachment style.

6 yo spending the day wandering around the house playing the Jurassic Park theme song on her recorder >>>>>>>>.

great to be back to our proper US equilibrium (billionaire tweeting out new policies as they occur to him on the loo).

Y’all can just fill me in on what I really need to know.

Refusing to join the econTwitter Mastodon bc I refuse to accept that I am part of econTwitter.

my mother sure loves to watch prurient true crime series on Netflix and then lose her goddamn mind every time I tell her I had a date with a man from the internet.

RT @chunkbardey: having a hard day, wearing my emotional support Big Shirt.

appreciated that!.

In other weekend antics: a balding man who turned out to be a little hard of hearing asked to buy me a drink in a grocery store wine bar and after half an hour of (loud) conversation said I seemed to be holding it together pretty well for a girl who doesn’t talk to her father.

Unacceptable.

Gasp are the elite institutions wobbling in fulfilling their mission of social reproduction of the white bourgeoisie????.

Anyway I would have hidden most of the Halloween candy this week like any self-respecting social-mobility-aspiring mother but Callardgate has prompted me to leave it out in the candy dish this year like my grandma would have done, never say Twitter is not real life.

Feels good.

Reenacting my twenties escapades in London and Bogota basically.

Every time my kid goes away I spend the whole time cycling starry eyed around the city like “oh my god I am so in love with Chicago” and being deathly hungover.

RT @caroartc: The one and only @Viquibarone is on the market and any department would be so lucky to have her! Check out her superb jmp on….