Haven’t been able to stop thinking about this pizza flyer ever since it came through the door. Just an unbelievably specific and funny thing to include. There has to have been an incident that led to this but I think it’s better that we’ll never know

Cleaning Tip: pick up every item around your house once per day and it’ll never accumulate dust!

Everyone sucks here! Kuenssberg’s a joke as any Brit knows but Harris has incredibly thin skin and immediately condescends/sneers at the idea that she might be REMOTELY culpable for fucking up a layup election and contributing to the planet’s decline in the process

Just got around to listening to Jamie Lee Curtis’ WTF interview, and what a complete fucking narcissist loser she is. Crying crocodile tears over Charlie fucking Kirk because he was a ‘devout man of faith’. Peak spineless liberalism

Mr Muscle 🤝 A Perfectionist Dutch Cobbler

Not horrified enough to actually do shit about it, are you? You’re an accomplice. There’s so much blood on your hands.

This is literally just the same joke as the original post. Why am I still on this braindead rage-inducing app. Life doesn’t have to be like this

When you accidentally birth twin Mick Hucknalls

*Spanish Movie Set* “Where’s the production designer?” “Yeah, Where’s the production designer”

Taking them out forever by hitting them with a ‘passing the phone to an insufferable out of touch cunt with negative levels of self-awareness’ and they get caught in an endless feedback loop

Dickheads When It’s Sunny and Over 10 Degrees Outside #TikTok

It’s ELAINE STRETCH! The Broadway Grand Dame who’s also the ELASTIC SMASH HIT toy! Posable DIVA! Comes with 15 CATCHPHRASES! 🎵Here’s to the ladies who PUNCH!🎵

A man next to me on my flight yesterday watched at least 8 back to back episodes of Brooklyn 99 and he didn’t laugh once. Nary a chuckle. Not even a light smirk. Just stone-faced watching hours of a TV show that he’d downloaded in advance and presumably enjoyed.

Maybe blowing this out of proportion but it’s so sad and scary that there’s just this accepted facet of modern living where reaching out for connection in a completely normal way can result in someone you trust throwing you to the online wolves with a ‘look at this fucking loser’

Doesn’t feel like a coincidence that Elon’s stupid fucking AI is immediately offering something that looks a lot like a challenge!

It’s been a while now since I left my job to try writing more, and I think the project I’m most proud of developing so far in that time is a deep and interesting drinking problem

“I don’t know Ed, it’s good and I love the ‘Nevermore’ stuff but it’s not that spooky at the moment.” *Edgar Allen Poe crumpling up a draft of his poem ‘The Ostrich’* “Fine. Maybe a bigger bird?”

Whoever wins, we lose

🎥 Save The Prince Charles Cinema! This iconic London cinema is at risk of closing due to unfair rent demands. Sign the petition to protect its future #SaveThePCC https://t.co/MHYMYJ4UZH via @38degrees

Drove back to London from a couple of nights away yesterday with an open, half-empty bottle of red wine propped up on the back seat and I was driving like I was in a middle-class reboot of the Wages of Fear

Finally made the jump over to BlueSky - @ over there is sameverard 👌