Pro-lifers don't like complexity. At 17 weeks my placenta detached and he was much too small. I thought I felt my baby's frantic attempts to breathe. My OBGYN advised me to terminate the pregnancy, there wasn't much time. But I couldn't.
Murdered by a man who traveled miles to kill the baby killer, hunting him down on a Sunday morning. People think of abortion as ending life, but it saves women's lives, mothers' lives. There is life today because of Dr Tiller. Where there would have been only emptiness and death.
I was nursing him in the glider, and the song "Frankie and Johnnie", was playing. I picked up the NYTimes. On the front page I saw that the doctor from Kansas had been killed while ushering in church.
"Don't worry, he just forgot something. He has to go back to get it, then he'll come back." my son was wise. I felt so much sadness. 15 months later I had a baby.
In a natural world without medical science, fluid tests, ultrasounds, in a world like the one God may have intended we would have died without the nightmare of knowing beforehand. But we are in this world. When my fever rose my family insisted. I was a mother already.
Every doctor told me it would only get worse. And it did get. But I already loved him. I'd waited 8 years for him. They saw on the Ultrasound that his umbilical cord was yards long.
An umbilical cord spinning out a lifeline helplessly. He'd stopped growing. But his heart continued to beat even as his movements - frantic at first when the oxygen cut off, slowed, and he became horribly still. I hated the doctors who couldn't save him.
An infection spread from the placenta to him. I began to understand, to believe them - that I would die too. I felt that we were dying. But selfishly I waited for more tests, and more tests, dozens of them.
They saw my son in the car and began shouting at him, "Your mother is killing her baby!". A nurse pushed through to shield us and guide us into the clinic. A psychologist spoke to my son. The process took a week. There is no such thing as "partial birth".
I held his tiny body. We had a private service with a minister. He was like a bird in my hands. My son. I had never felt so empty. A trickle of blood ran out of his nose and I wiped it. Back in NYC some too observant people in my building knew. My milk had come in.
The mail carrier who delivered his ashes to me knew, and I could see she wanted me to know that she disapproved. I saw she also felt sorry, but like she was supposed to despise me. We'd always gotten along. I closed the door and held the box under my robe and sobbed on the floor
My child needed me. My family arranged with New York Presbyterian Hospital for us to fly to Kansas because I was now in my 24th week and he would not have filled my palm.
I dreamt of being filled with ice, and death. His organs were shutting down so there was no amniotic fluid. He was in a dry and poison uterus, suffocating. I was panicked by the thought of his suffering.
I hadn't realized we were coming to one of those places from TV with angry people outside. They brandished signs cruelly displaying the bodies of tiny fetuses. Pumping the signs up and down and shouting.
The doctor in Kansas was kind, but sad. He carried a shotgun because he'd once been shot in both arms. Our taxi driver slowed to a crawl and rolled all the windows down as we arrived at the clinic. I didn't know why. My son was in the car with us.
@bwmathers
It never leaves. But so many insist on a black and white world, which might be nice, but it simply doesn't exist. The absence of tidiness or clarity is the only absolute.
@HomeHelpfulRN
Good for you. It's not a happy sort of evolution, just an accepting of reality one. And it takes hard strong empathy because I know I was so defended against imagining anything like this could happen - so complicated and awful, how could it be?
@DrCABerry
@kphpe
I'm so sorry💔. I don't understand how the 30% who wanted Roe overturned can be so gleeful, laughing over it, like they've won a game. Maybe they don't know about stories like ours. I was induced and gave birth also, I tried to exclude some details. So sorry.
@KatiePhang
What's bugging me is that the democrats/Democrats are going to be honest about their bias - whereas the magas will lie. Because that's how and where we diverge. I could compartmentalize, maybe they should realize they can too
@khadijakamala
@seb4466
@Susan_Wets
If had been able to decide quickly on the inevitable it would have been kinder, but I simply couldn't. I couldn't process it, and I couldn't give up on him.
@IAmJulesWard
@daft_editor
@PreetBharara
@CNN
The police officer they killed was beaten to death with a fire extinguisher. I can't even imagine the horror of that. They spread their feces on the walls with their hands. This is the highly valued and oh so important "base" no one wanted to lose.
@SistahAsali
@chrislhayes
We're not all believers, I know, but God has suggested we help ourselves. Praying is not the end of action - people pray for solutions, inspiration, advice, hope and direction. You pray and then you listen for the answer to your prayers. They aren't listening for the response.
@ChuckCjmmn
I'd like to say Thomas, but he's old. So let me think a minute. Kavanaugh is second but I feel like he may be a little chastened or cautious the entire time - so Barrett because she's going to be there forever and outlive the rest.
@sparkys_mom
@lostinhist0ry
@Earworm_nz
Off topic as per usual, but notice how young women seem so mature and old - so adult in the past? She must be under 30. Lauren Bacall was 19. When did the perpetual teenager thing take root? What happened to poise?
@Jaimehoneybunny
I haven't been able to read these until now, 2 years later, but I assure you that no one did what you are describing. I held him and he was whole, tiny and whole.
@donwinslow
He's an indentured servant now - they paid for his defense, he owes them his life. He can't escape of repair himself or quit. I sort feel for him actually, just as a human who should feel guilt and the repair impulse, but now he's a hero so he's trapped.
@CalltoActivism
That store was empty upstairs, if you weren't with a personal shopper you were alone. He knows it, and he knows no one would look at him twice, he wasn't really Bergdorf material. His base thinks Bergdorf was like Bloomingdales, and that he was a star.
@Bubblebathgirl
@kylegriffin1
This is pretty much what a different judge said yesterday when Trump claimed a trial was hurting his campaign - that judge found a few of Trump's posts bragging that it was helping him and so the appeal was denied and he lost it.
@ksandnfam
Rations and collecting tinfoil, (my mother remembers). She didn't meet her dad until she was 2 because he was fighting. People have the capacity to sacrifice but we're so soft right now with our adult men crying about paper masks they don't even have to wear anymore.
The Trump team ruled out a juror because of a meme their husband posted? Clarence Thomas is deciding whether or not Trump is above the law - right now. At least Ginni Thomas hasn't posted any Facebook memes.
@CNN
@AFieldCNN
She's doing a lot of damage to victims of domestic violence. As a card carrying member of the ACLU and a subscriber of WAPO I wish they'd vetted her op-ed, before writing and publishing it for her.
Klonopin prevents panic attacks. It doesn't even cause a noticeable feeling of relaxation, there is no "high", no dopey feeling -- it's the no feel good anti-anxiety medication. People are so annoying.
@ElieNYC
I did notice that. And as the older sister to my adopted brother who grew up to be a doctor and took the college classes in highschool I found it repulsive.
Dear Dan Rather,
Thank you for using your platform to defend dignity, as it dissolves along with our liberty. Thank you for your fortitude and your voice.
@aleksandra2002
It is. I'm still in the no one is the - all good or - all bad guy camp, but this car chase claim is ridiculous. They stopped at police stations twice - why not stop at their destination once? It wasn't a CIA safe house they had to keep secret.
I have come to love Biden. He’s such a mature and caring person. I was always vote blue no matter who, but have come to see him as a great candidate who will make an even better president. So proud to support
#BidenHarris2020
@ElaineWisewoman
It was so vital they lose the photographers that they drove around for 2 hours instead of just going home? That's the part that makes me feel manipulated. They had cameras, not guns. Very upsetting I'm sure, but not a reason to put people in danger with a car chase.
Katy Tur suggests Trump's trial may be moved. Maybe he should have done the - alleged -election interference someplace else. Why should the trial move for him? In a borough where 40% have college degrees I think they can be fair regardless of facebook posts. This is ridiculous.
@JoyAnnReid
Well, screw it - she'd be ready from day 1. And yeah go ahead off on Benghazi and the tragic loss of four American lives. While Trump is mute on bounties that Putin has put on our soldiers and clumsily presiding over 160K of us lost to a virus he's failed to stop.
@SDISBEAUTIFUL1
Hundreds of millions - to shut him up. I think that's what it will take. And can we actually get him to pay? Has he paid her the first 5 million?
@RadioFreeTom
Could win? My God did you see the highly effective and repulsive Nuremberg-esque follies they put on last night? I am so deeply afraid he will win. Every single vote counts. A vote is a condensed protest - use it, guard it, let it fly. One shot.
If Trump makes outbursts and disrupts the trial the judge could find him in contempt, but an attempt to jail him would be a messy sideshow, and just help him build his martyr image. But couldn't the judge order a psych exam? That could topple the whole Trump house of cards?
@roper_93
It's horrifying. And the Secret Service and the police are being endangered by Trump's threats. He should be investigated, but of course that just sounds like a joke by now. He's going to have blood on his hands.
@HiPpPiEcHiKCKiE
@nytimes
Right? Was he changing his pants, or finishing something he'd started? I don't understand men, and yet I've been married to one for nearly 30 years. They are a mystery wrapped up in a horny enigma.
Andrea Mitchell, so preoccupied with the seriousness or not of this case. Seems serious to me - Michael Cohen went to prison and lost his license. Breaking the law is always serious - more so when the person is applying to be the President. The President. It requires wakefulness
@tracybeanz
Wait, Mr Bradley who paid off two rape allegations was upset about Mr Wade divorcing even though he was his divorce attorney and gossiping about him to this woman who is also sleeping with another lawyer on the defense?
Thank you for your eloquent and kind responses. There were hardly any cruel replies (!) I think our solidarity washed them away. I didn't answer questions because this is how and what I chose to share. There's always more to tell, but this was enough for this time and space.❤️
Pro-lifers don't like complexity. At 17 weeks my placenta detached and he was much too small. I thought I felt my baby's frantic attempts to breathe. My OBGYN advised me to terminate the pregnancy, there wasn't much time. But I couldn't.
Does anyone out there live in Maine? Do you make it into NYC for weekends ever or is Portland city enough? Where do you find old homes with an acre or two for a garden and a donkey. And winters - nightmare?
@Jaimehoneybunny
My youngest son wouldn't be alive if they'd done the type of complete cesarean they'd have had to for a baby so small, do you think I didn't ask? And to not be able to have a second child when John was not viable - would be two lives ended and not begun.
@ProjectLincoln
I agree with him that Covid19 could have been stopped and should have been stopped, but he's the reason it wasn't stopped here. Other countries can open schools safely because they have leaders. Trump would have failed the marshmallow test.
@TomJunod
The pain that made men and women choose to fall to their deaths rather than burn is impossible to imagine as a person with a fear of heights. They were amazing and without choice, it is a strong image, of strength, grace, humanity in the face of the unimaginable become real.
@ClaireCJ83
@DrCABerry
@kphpe
Many seem confused - telling me this would be okay, they just don't like it used as "birth control". Maddenning they feel they can dictate the terms, but also wrong - abortion will be illegal full stop - look at Kristi Noem. Some don't want birth control used as birth control.
@WildlifePhotog2
@franktmorgan
Yes! I think my parents thought it was going to be a sweet movie about rabbits - I'll never forget the blood and sinew..
@GellertDepp
She's annoyed when he doesn't comment on a dress and annoyed when he does. He couldn't do anything right. And she married him - after all of this "abuse" she's already describing.
@B_L_Mencken
@MeidasCeejay
No one will notice their nazi parade without a clash - what they want is an audience and people to fight - don't fall for it, stay safe, stay home, we won.
There's cruelty behind this indictment, which has taken five years, of Hunter Biden. What a way to try to destroy a wonderful, hard working and effective President by going after his remaining son. Yet Jared and Ivanka got 2 billion from Saudi Arabia, that's not weird at all?
@TheSeanMitchell
@CBSEveningNews
@CBSNews
Perhaps. But if it had been a lesbian basketball player with a trace of marijuana his defenders would be the ones saying - let her rot, she knew the laws!
@sonya_zela
This was not a setback for all women. I know there are some who might like it be a setback for women, but it won't be. Women should be appalled she's trying to take us all down with her.
I feel for Karen Mcdougal. She was in love and she thought...hoped she was the next Marla. I met Marla Maples while she was pregnant with Tiffany. I worked in a store across from Trump Tower. Sweet, maybe sad, in an all pink cotton sweatshirt and sweatpants. Poor babies. Really.
@cuttleb0nes
He hears suicide or near suicide stories because it's prescribed for people with major depression. He's got to be smart enough to make that connection. Though in young people - teens and early 20's it can energize people who are still suicidal and give them the power to act.
@MilesTaylorUSA
But what does paying attention consist of? Not taking the subway to work, skipping the show you have tickets for, not going to work? When they aren't able to tell us where - what can the public do differently in order to be paying attention?
@DougWahl1
I worked in a building next to Bergdorf Goodman and was there a lot and some floors were spookily empty. There was no one there. It's across the street from Trump Tower. It probably wasn't only her.
@TimothyDSnyder
Anyone who needs a mask to conceal their ID here or on Campus - belies awareness of hate, guilt and cowardice. Just like all the infamous groups who wear hoods for the same reasons, and wouldn't wear masks to prevent disease.
@chipfranklin
It's going to be like a yearly Flu shot. I can't believe a million Americans have died. I feel like it's not registering. Who could have even conceived of a Million dead? I'm so sorry for all of those families and friends. A tragedy.
@SimonWDC
I was just wondering about this - it seems to me that if you are right and you know that you're right and doing what is right - you don't hide your face. I think the masks are because of self-awareness - of hatred.
@joshuahenry20
Without Sondheim - no contemporary musical theater. I haven't noticed any successors but at least the form continues, though dimmed and malnourished without him. I hope that will change.
@AaronParnas
@MeidasTouch
Regular Americans get evicted from their homes when they can't pay the rent having committed no crime. But the rich are different and Trump is even more different - he's Special.
@Newsweek
How does she manage to look so unbruised and unswollen after being beaten up? Is that genes too? Because I've been punched in the face, my nose has been broken and it made my whole face a different shape and color than it had been before.