Development Dawg
@PromoteJunkie
Followers
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Following
398
Media
673
Statuses
5,117
Real Estate Developer in the most insufferable markets in America 😝 Part-Time Hater // Here for a good time, not a long time…
Planning Board Meeting
Joined July 2022
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Another birthday party invite from yet another one of my gf’s friends that I hate
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Attorney fees are getting out of control.
Twice this week I’ve had to get on the phone and berate our attorneys on bills we’ve received.
Why are you spending 10 hours “researching” shit I could’ve googled in 30 seconds. I’m going to lose my mind.
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The Capital Grille is just Applebee’s for the upper middle class.
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There’s a direct correlation between wealth and growing up in a skiing family.
If you tell me you grew up skiing, there’s a 100% chance you grew up in a wealthy family.
Good luck changing my mind.
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Can someone please explain to me why Patagonia is better than Columbia.
Why is Patagonia so much more expensive when the products seem the exact same??
(I just went crazy at the Columbia store)
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I’m so pumped to hit 40, rip an unhealthy amount of TRT to get jacked and then gaslight ppl by saying my diet and workout routine is far superior to theirs.
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No longer allowing myself to go out with my girlfriend’s younger friends.
I refuse to be woken up by a Venmo request for a SINGLE tequila soda that I didn’t even ask for.
WTF is wrong with ppl.
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I’m convinced this account is an 8 y/o child of an MD at Carlyle who just overhears everything his dad says.
Unpopular opinion:
Even if you have enough cash to acquire a company without a loan, you’ll still want to take a loan to acquire a business.
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There are very very VERY wealthy ppl out there who’s sole determinant of whether or not they’ll do a deal, is back of the envelope math.
Not a fancy excel model. Just a notepad and a pen…and vibes of course.
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Just had to delete a college buddy on Facebook because I saw he went to Disney World for his honeymoon…
Get that shit outta here.
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I have said this before, and apparently need to say it again:
If you are just getting started in real estate and are thinking that ground-up development is a good start.
Don't, there are thousands of easier ways to make money that don't involve so many uncontrollable risks
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The toxic male urge to drop everything and head to law school.
Feeling it.
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Sir, this is a 14% occupied, 1990s class C (formally class A++) office building in Northern NJ
Here’s an originally $80,000,000 almost 25k sq ft 365+ acre glass mansion for sale in Branson West, MO
Currently listed for $60,000,000
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@SpiritofPines
I think I’ll take advice from the dude named “Pine Baron”
Everyone else, kick dirt
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Are ppl still doing the BRRRR method?
Or is everyone bankrupt already?
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I spoke to all of the largest Private Equity Real Estate companies today.
They all said the SAME exact thing.
Everyone on REtwit is a liar and will soon be handing back their keys to the banks!!!!
Big if true.
#distress
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My favorite archetype is the recently divorced, middle-aged white guy who just discovered Latinas.
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Let’s be real, you can talk about quality, materials, and ethics all you want…
But if you ain’t ever rocked one of these bad boys, we simply cannot be friends.
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RE Acquisition teams went from a bunch of Ivy lacrosse bros to a couple dudes in Thailand making $6/hour.
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How do RE bros have time to tweet constantly all day?
Must not be too busy out there for some…
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I fucking love how hard of a kick to the balls real estate development is.
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Are you really a Real Estate Developer if you don’t have a camera roll FULL of random buildings, pieces of land or for sale signs???
Bonus: have a Notes app entirely made up of random addresses you jotted down over the years.
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“My father inherited a $200MM real estate portfolio from his father, so now I’m just waiting for my father to die and then it’ll all be mine.”
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Holy shit - I’ve reached peak career douchery…
Just ended an email……with my initials!!
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@Stealx
A good friend of mine was navy spec ops & had told me that one of the ways Al-Qaeda found/tracked US soldiers overseas was through Strava/Fitbit data 😳
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Just created an LLC!!
Now everything I buy from here on out is a tax write-off!
This is the AMERICAN DREAM!
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Recession this, recession that.
I am the busiest I have ever f*cking been in my entire career.
LOVE IT.
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It’s pretty fucking absurd how many people I know in their late 20s/early 30s that still have their lives subsidized by their parents.
Maybe I’m just jealous but WTF !!!!!
Can your parents “gift” me a down payment for a house???
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Developers:
At what point in my relationship should I tell my fiancé that I will likely make us very poor for a good portion of our lives?
Before or after we get married?
Any tips?
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Broker: I have an amazing, shovel-ready development site for you guys
Me: how many units
Broker: 943 units
Me: uh, how big is the site
Broker: 0.5 acres. Owner really maximized the site and is asking $200k/door! It’s going to go quick!
Me: u should lose ur license
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It’s been a year since I quit my job.
I am now homeless and have $17 left in my bank account.
I should’ve never listened to you Twitter people.
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HUGE site plan approval granted last night ✅
Big win right before 2023 comes to end 😎
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Does anyone frequently use a rowing machine as your cardio fix?
How does anyone do more than 5 min on this thing 😫😭 I’m bored
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Is finding a competent contractor really that hard these days?
It’s shocking how many people I’ve talked to in the last 6 mos that have said they can’t get a hold of a decent contractor.
Doesn’t pick up the phone. Doesn’t call/text back. Outrageous pricing. Too busy.
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#REtwit
peeps:
I got engaged tonight and I’m (not) sorry if my tweets get crazy tonight…life is good!!!
🍻
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The first thing you see when you get to the gates of hell
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Rate cuts aren’t saving your BS pro forma rent assumptions baby
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I don’t know if there’s a stronger alliance out there than middle-aged whites dudes in real estate and the band Phish.
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My best friend from college dropped everything last year & moved to rural Wyoming.
He just sent me this picture from a recent hike/camp.
Pretty freaking sweet.
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Update: he asked to spilt the bill. I seriously wish I was joking.
If you’re a young broker and you ask to meet me for a lunch meeting, it would probably be a good idea to not show up late.
Grrrrrrrrr
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If you’re a young broker and you ask to meet me for a lunch meeting, it would probably be a good idea to not show up late.
Grrrrrrrrr
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To all the office owners who laughed at my offers a year ago:
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RE fam - it’s been a great year. Now someone plz talk me out of getting a Rolex.
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Getting on a flight tomorrow morning.
I really hope the person next to me (who also decided to sit in the last row of the plane) has at least $300M in his bank account and a net worth of >$1B.
I have so many questions to ask! 🚀🚀
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Old RE heads - how do I buy a house for my family one day without over-analyzing the f*ck out of it like it’s a deal on my work desk??
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A key trait of being a developer is saying, “I’d love to build an apartment building there” anytime you see an empty lot.
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You ever just talk to a broker and think, “I never ever want to do business with this person”
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Hello darkness, my old friend
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My favorite question to ask brokers when they send me deals is,
“Thx, would you do this deal?”
Always funny to get their reactions.
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#REtwit
- anyone here make the big jump from institutional to on your own or with a smaller firm with the chance to gain equity much quicker?
Came across unique opportunity and honestly, I’m scared shitless. But FWIW, my guts telling me GO.
Appreciate the insight, folks.
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I’m done with all of this “200 bps spread” and “high teens IRR”
I am providing housing for the people of America. That is enough for me to do a deal.
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Me: “Yo babe omfg you should see these clowns on REtwit getting roasted by everyone tonight!!!”
My GF:
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The Great Recession came at such perfect time for my dad.
He lost his job & was able to tell everyone he got laid off, like 90% of the population at the time.
But really, he was arrested & jailed on felony drug charges!!!
Timing is everything.
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Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has a construction friend who sends them right wing propaganda daily.
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Brokers on LinkedIn already talking bout “cap rates coming down!”
We are so COOKED.
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I got a feeling that a lot of architects and engineers are not going to be getting paid soon…
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Wait, people are being paid to do real estate??
What the f*ck
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I said it once (before I was a bonafide influencer) and I’ll say it again:
Some of you fuckers really log onto Twitter to tell blatant lies about “stories” you’ve seen or heard in the industry.
Many of you, are completely full of shit.
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#REtwit
Dudes & Dudettes
How f*ckin weird is it when u know ur leaving a company but u sorta have to lie to everyone (especially your boss) about how life is good n nothing’s going on.
Kinda sucks, but change is exciting!!!
Anyone wanna share their similar past experiences?
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Mannnnn, the vibes are just different out here fam.
I may nuke this account, nuke my life back home (wifey & dog coming), and just go off the grid in SoCal.
TBD
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Oh you’re closing on development sites right now?
That’s cool. How do you feel lying right to my face?
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Probably the busiest I’ve ever been in my career. Feels like everything is snowballing, making catching up on things very, very difficult.
Development is a brutal fucking career path. This shit is exhausting & takes absolutely no prisoners.
Thx for coming to my bitch session.
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Guys - LifeCos are doing pref equity on their OWN deals.
We are so back.
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If there’s anything you have to do ONCE in your life, it’s going to a planing/zoning board meeting.
Bonus points if it’s in a wealthy town.
Have fun.
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REtwit right now
"ReTwit is full of complete sh*^ and frauds. I read their tweets on deals I am in and wondering, how is nobody calling you out on this, im an LP in this deal, I know the numbers."
"I am in dozens of Retwit deals as an LP"
" I unfollowed you because you were a fraud and
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Me when my MD says we’re going to war with the town to get approvals.
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Guys - I’m sorry.
I’m the guy behind ConstantRaiseDan.
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Like or retweet if you never had a credit card from your parents ❤️
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One of my projects that’s under construction got a letter in the mail from Toll Brothers, asking if we’d be interested in selling our land to them.
I got news for y’all Toll Brothers.
Suck my balls.
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Excuse me sir, I have underwritten BILLIONS of dollars worth of real estate development deals.
(plug in different numbers in cells I’m allowed to edit to get a sufficient spread over exit cap)
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Can someone on REtwit do a deep dive on Fifth Wall and their investments???
What has their investment performance been like?? Are they making money??
Big wins?? Big busts?? Thanks!!!
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My lord 😳
The HOLY GRAIL of real estate merch.
Legend has it….whoever wears this…will have infinite financing abilities (legally or illegally)
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My favorite cold calls are to the owners who I know are extremely wealthy & forever holders.
I once got a “do you not know who we are??” after I asked if they would sell a property.
😂
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I asked an owner if he’d do seller financing and he told me he was going to K!LL me????
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Why the f*ck would anyone buy a house from a “wholesaler” ?
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EQUINOX - DAY 1 😈
Initial thoughts - Health is WEALTH💰
Equipment - D1 facility 😤
Trainers - valid 💯
Old Dudes - rizz gods 🗣️
Middle aged dudes - TRT’d out 💉
Smoothie bar - bussin 💦
Vibes - immaculate 🪩
Made the right decision 🔒
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So you just call the owner of the building and ask if them if they want to sell it?
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“Hey, do you guys use *insert literally any real estate software*?”
“My brother in Christ, I’m using my friend’s costar login.”
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Just going to tell my consultants that all of our operating accounts were through SVB, who lost all of our money, and now we can’t pay them.
Work smarter, not harder.
#YieldsGoingUp
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I always love when we get our first round FF&E selections from our ID team.
“Why is the coffee table in our mail room $30,000?”
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