https://t.co/NcnJq7bvgW

Miss you Crys. Check the link in my bio. Happy birthday pimpin.

STOP

😚💨 damn son. Rip big homie.

Most people were heartless about turtles because a turtle’s heart will beat for hours after it has been cut up and butchered. But the old man thought, I have such a heart too.

We’ve had 46 U.S. Presidents, and they’ve been indicted on a total of 71 felony counts. Here’s how it breaks down: 1-44: 0 45: 71 46: 0

https://t.co/kbFMNO1X17

Still easier to talk shit on this godforsaken platform

the crackers are canceling cracker barrel

Fear often mask our greatest ambition, my nigga.

All the people in Houston crying over 40f temps in January, this is your week. multiple days potentially over 100f, or at least in the 98-99 range.

I-95 repairs going quicker than expected.

Good thing enterprise migrations between cloud providers is trivial...

https://t.co/YUPLlcxVVn I’m on smoko so leave me alone

Twitter timeline rn:

what if you were 7 and you were PROMISED a ceo position in ur DADS COMPANY and u spend YEARS working ur ASS OFF and then u KILL SOMEONE and u ruin relationships including UR KIDS and ur SISTER votes AGAINST YOU and then ur dads bodyguard FOLLOWS u so that u don't KILL URSELF

Remember when Ted Cruz compared the Russian military favorably with our “woke, emasculated” one? How’s that aging?

🗣”A REAL NIGGA WON… HA” my 5-Word Speech… accepting the Webby Special Achievement Award at the 27th Annual @thewebbyawards . #webbyawards #Webbys

This.

@AuthorKimberley

The federal government has given up even the slightest pretense of doing anything at all about rampant gun violence. The only thing they'll do is tell you how to deal with the attack you will inevitably face in our modern dystopia. The message is clear: you're on your own.