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Pardon The Insurrection Podcast

@PardonPod

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Weekly podcast featuring @cooltxchick , @caroledwine and @blackknight10k . Sponsored by @ColinDMcIntosh from Sheets and Giggles. Not handing out any pardons.

Schadenfreude, USA
Joined August 2020
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@PardonPod
Pardon The Insurrection Podcast
3 years
I had a conversation about 9/11 earlier about how I'd never forget where I was and how I watched that second plane fly into the tower and how it made me feel. For me, 1/6 is like that but worse because I don't remember half of America rooting for the fucking planes.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
The thing I envy most about President Biden is that he got to tell Trump to shut the fuck up on national tv, then took his job, his house, and his twitter account.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Breaking: I have been blocked by Marjorie Taylor Greene. I can only imagine why the fuck that might be. Maybe it was the screen name?
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Clarence Thomas is about to go through some things.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
I will punish myself by live tweeting the Trump town hall Thursday if 5000 people promise not to watch it and help tank NBCs ratings.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Trump is taking bribes in exchange for pardons, his legal team wants to overthrow an election, his former national security advisor wants to declare martial law, and his senate majority leader vetoes a relief bill in a deadly pandemic. This is some literal super villain shit.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Georgia is proof that just like black lives, black votes matter.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
What the fuck was the Trump administration actually doing for 4 years?
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@PardonPod
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3 years
California should sue Kentucky to overturn their election. There's no way that Mitch McConnell won without cheating.
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@PardonPod
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4 years
If you paid more in taxes than Trump did in 2016, I want to follow you.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
The red MAGA hat will go down in history as the American swastika.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
I don't know how I can ever repay Biden for saving us from Trump, but sending him two Democrats from Georgia to serve in the Senate and help him pass his agenda would be a good start.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
The descendants of slaves saved the free world.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
I almost wanted unity but then I remembered how they danced on Ruth Bader Ginsburg's grave.
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@PardonPod
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4 years
You all make me feel like my life matters.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
If you didn't try to overthrow the United States government today, I want to follow you on twitter.
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@PardonPod
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4 years
Hey guys, 4 idiots standing outside a hospital while a couple of them yell "We hope they die" isn't a black lives matter protest. But if you want to blame an entire group for the actions of a few people, I have plenty of videos of unarmed black people being murdered by police.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Let's put our $600 checks together and buy Rand Paul's neighbor a new house next to Mitch McConnell.
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@PardonPod
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4 years
If you care about black people, retweet this. Let's take a second to put some positive vibes out into the world. We need it. We're all tired of being shot.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
They're still attacking Jill Biden for her doctorate when Melania couldn't even pass an STD test.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
However terrible you think your state is, I have Marsha Blackburn.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
How the hell am I supposed to orchestrate a coup on Grindr?
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@PardonPod
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3 years
If you voted for Joe Biden, like and retweet this. Prove to Republicans that the election wasn't rigged and Biden just kicked Trump's ass.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Good morning to President Biden supporters only.
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@PardonPod
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4 years
Trump just shot every single U.S. soldier in the middle of Fifth Avenue. I'll never vote for a Republican.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
If Biden keeps unfucking everything that Trump has done, eventually Ivanka will get her virginity back.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
What kind of shithole administration loses a million doses of the vaccine during the first fucking week?
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Merry Christmas to everyone who voted for Joe Biden.
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3 years
Shout out to everyone who worked to save 2020 and who's still busting their ass to save Christmas.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
I still can't believe the Secret Service came to see me over a single tweet where I threatened to change my screen name, while thousands of people openly planned to kidnap and murder Congress all over the internet for weeks and were one left turn away from succeeding.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Bezos should give everyone a $1200 credit on Amazon for Christmas. It would be easier than relying on the government.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
70 million Americans may not believe black lives matter, but now they know that black votes matter.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Where is Rudy Giuliani? Where is Bill Barr? Where is Chris Christie? Where is Carmen Sandiego?
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Obama never had to pardon anyone that was connected to him.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
I swear it feels like we're all waiting 52 days for the divorce to go through.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Happy New Year to everyone who voted for Joe Biden and saved 2021.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
I'm not going to ask you raise your hand if you voted for Joe Biden, but if you want, feel free to throw up a fist. ✊🏾
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3 years
I secretly kinda like wearing a mask now. It's like a security blanket but for socially responsible people.
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@PardonPod
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4 years
I'm damned near ready to march on D.C. and demand this orange motherfcker resign.
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3 years
I wish I could get paid $400,000 a year to golf, watch tv, eat burgers, and cry on twitter all day.
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@PardonPod
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4 years
I hate this damned administration. They're constantly making me change my screen name.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
It's insane how Trump held the Republican party hostage for four years, had a mob literally hold them hostage underneath the Capitol, and he's still holding them hostage in a trial where he's being impeached for holding them hostage.
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@PardonPod
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Breaking: I'm so good at twitter that I've been deemed a threat to national security by the Trump administration.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Well, the proud boys have gone full rioting criminals beating and stabbing people in DC. Time to call in the national guard to handle these thugs.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
50 Cent, Ice Cube, and Kanye West could all shoot each other in the middle of Fifth Avenue and I'd crawl over their dead bodies to vote for Joe Biden.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Breaking: You can support Bernie Sanders and also vote for Joe Biden.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
@MSNBC They've been smoking some crack over at Time. Why is Trump on this list?
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Did those kids in cages get organic food?
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@PardonPod
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3 years
I plan to celebrate on new years eve by staying the fuck away from people and not getting the coronavirus.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
As far as I know, Eric Swalwell never had a secret Chinese bank account hidden millions in foreign funds. Guess who did... that's right, Donald Trump.
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@PardonPod
Pardon The Insurrection Podcast
4 years
We just heard a tape of Trump confessing to manslaughter. Presidency over.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
@iamcardib Can you spend 88k on Democrats in the Georgia Senate run off election? That would look even better on you than a purse.
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@PardonPod
Pardon The Insurrection Podcast
3 years
The FBI didn't save us. Comey didn't save us. Rosenstein didn't save us. Mueller didn't save us. SDNY didn't save us. NY AG didn't save us. Impeachment didn't save us. At the end of the day, it was always on us. Today is the day we save ourselves.
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Is anyone elses Christmas spirit at 0 or is it just me?
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Abolish the filibuster and make Puerto Rico a state.
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Every Sunday, I think about Colin Kaepernick losing his job in hopes that police won't shoot me.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Now that the GOP believes it's in vogue to talk about Eric Swalwell being targeted by a spy, can we go back to 2016 where everyone in Trump's campaign was meeting with Russian assets?
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Breaking: Ivanka Trump has resigned from her position as her father's girlfriend.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Did you vote for Joe Biden?
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@PardonPod
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4 years
If only Laura Ingraham would interview Trump every night until November. Biden would win by 30 million votes.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Wouldn't it have been easier for Trump to start a megachurch than to run for President? It's right up his alley. Talk for hours on end one day a week and then take everyone's money in exchange for nothing.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Vote for Mr. Rogers.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
What exactly are the proud boys proud of?
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@PardonPod
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3 years
We've reached the point where Joe Biden has more credibility in the hood than Ice Cube. 2020 is the twilight zone.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
I have almost 33k followers. If I say good morning, I don't really give a damn who says good morning back. I just want Trump to go to prison.
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@PardonPod
Pardon The Insurrection Podcast
3 years
The United States is the only government in the world that has yet to recognize Joe Biden as the next President of the United States.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Parler must be going full suicide cult right now.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
I'll say it. Trump's bumblefuckery got congressman elect Letlow killed. Months of stupid conspiracy theories, telling people to not wear masks, creating super spreader events, pushing hydroxychloroquine, telling people to shoot up with lysol... there were going to be casualties.
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@PardonPod
Pardon The Insurrection Podcast
3 years
While they were losing their minds that Hunter Biden had a job while Joe was Vice President, Mike Pence's nephew and Lara Trump were running a PAC that laundered a half billion dollars of campaign money off to god knows where because it's always projection with them.
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@PardonPod
Pardon The Insurrection Podcast
3 years
The wife of a sitting Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas paid for 70 buses to get Trump's militia to the rally before they attempted to blow the holy hell out of Congress but let me guess, Clarence Thomas is just another unfairly maligned George Conway.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Is anyone else exhausted by 2020? I'm worn out.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
The Government didn't close churches. 400,000 dead Americans did.
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I nominate "fuckers" for the 2020 Word Of The Year Award.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
The Trump administration is investigating Hunter Biden's taxes. Great. Now it's fair play for the Biden administration to start investigating the taxes of Don Jr, Eric, Ivanka, and Jared.
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@PardonPod
Pardon The Insurrection Podcast
3 years
Should Trump be dragged out of office and thrown straight the fuck in jail? Yes Yes Yes 👇🏾 👇🏾 👇🏾
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@PardonPod
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If I disappear, just know it was the Trump administration that got me.
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@PardonPod
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As horrifying as my state is for having a Marsha Blackburn, we've more than made up for it by giving the world Dolly Parton. You're welcome.
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Breaking: Chuck Schumer has announced that the Senate has a reached a power sharing agreement meaning Democrats now have control of all the committees and Republicans can fuck all the way off and space force can give them a ride there.
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@PardonPod
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I'm suing Trump for emotional distress. This motherfcker needs to pay for my therapy for stressing me out every day for 4 years.
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Today is the first time in my life that I've shed a tear out of pride for my country. I finally feel like it's actually mine.
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No wonder Trump's campaign is broke. They keep having to buy supporters off of Craigslist.
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If they can lock up millions of black people for smoking weed, they can lock up 1000 white people for storming the capitol and trying to overthrow the government.
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If you voted blue, I love you.
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I still can't believe we killed 250k people just so we could go to the bar.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Jared and Ivanka reported making between $23M and $120M while working in the fucking White House last year. Last time I checked, there's no government salary that pays that much money. Why hasn't anyone found their laptop?
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@PardonPod
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Can someone in Congress teach me how to Senator so I can run against Marsha Blackburn?
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4 years
Republicans want to put a judge in the Supreme court in a week but can't pass a single bill in 6 months to save America from a global pandemic.
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#TRUMP2020ToSaveAmerica is like asking the Confederacy to save black people from slavery.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Why didn't Biden teargas everyone on the way to church this morning? And then he had the nerve to stop for bagels afterward. This behavior can't be allowed to continue for another four years.
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@PardonPod
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Is anyone going to, umm, I don't know, get this motherfucker out of office before he orders the military to occupy the country and overturn the election?
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I propose we allow all Trump supporters to move to Mississippi, let them secede from the union, and then we build a wall around it like they always wanted.
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@PardonPod
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Breaking: 17 Republican AGs are suing Time magazing to overturn the 2020 Person of the Year Award.
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@PardonPod
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Breaking: Defense Secretary Lloyd Autstin kicked Trump's post election appointees straight the fuck up out of the Pentagon.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
You know what's crazier than a dude blowing up an entire block of my city on Christmas day and everyone forgetting about it? Thousands of people storming the capitol in an attempted coup and the DOJ considering not charging every single person involved.
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@PardonPod
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Rudy Giuliani is having a hell of a month. Jerked off on Borat, lost the election, got stranded in a dildo store parking lot, his son got covid, his face melted, ended his legal career arguing on behalf of seditious drunk Karen, and now he's tested positive for the coronavirus.
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@PardonPod
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Congratulations to everyone who survived the shitshow disaster wasteland of 2020.
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@PardonPod
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Republican Senators are about to go through some things.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Instead of labeling 98% of Trump's tweets as misleading or false, wouldn't it be less work for Jack to just suspened him for 53 days until he's no longer relevant?
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Trump leaving his supporters out in the cold to freeze to death is the greatest possible metaphor for what's to come if he's reelected.
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@PardonPod
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3 years
Be honest. How many of you popped champagne today like this was really New Year's.
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