⚡️Parker Paintner⚡️
@PPaintner
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I tweet things that sometimes make sense and the other times the tweets are garbage, take it or leave it.
North Dakota, USA
Joined September 2009
Minnesota people don’t wave back on highways. “Minnesota Nice” is a lie and stolen from North Dakota and we all know it.
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Have you lost your fucking mind
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In their last four games...@IndianaFootball beat... -Ohio State -Alabama -Oregon -Miami 134-56
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I can’t believe we live in a world where Indiana just went 16-0 in football and won a National Championship
Hoosier College Football National Champion? For the first time ever, IT'S INDIANA! 🏆
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There is no need to have a game clock in overtime of a playoff game.
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If I have to watch the Bills vs Patriots in the AFC Championship game I’m going to be highly upset
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if the sec wants to compete with the big ten they need to get a map commercial
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“The Miami Dolphins are bringing back Mike McDaniel.” “The Miami Dolphins have hired Josh Williams as General Manager.” “With the 11th pick in the 2026 NFL Draft, the Miami Dolphins select, Ty Simpson, QB, Alabama.”
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This will conclude my 12th season covering the Miami Dolphins, 10th consecutive Not quite as long as a few of the other guys But, in those 12 seasons 0 playoff wins 0 division titles 3 playoff losses 6 losing seasons 6 winning seasons
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One of these four programs will be the national champion: Oregon (zero national titles) Indiana (zero national titles) Ole Miss (never outright champ) Miami (last won in 2001) Theater!
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#280characters? Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-it!
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Postseason standings: Big Ten: 5-0 PAC 2: 1-0 Big 12: 1-0 CUSA: 3-3 American: 3-3 SEC: 2-2 MAC: 2-3 ACC: 3-4 Sun Belt: 2-4 Mountain West: 2-4 Independent: 0-1
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Skip Tulane Vs. Ole Miss and watch two Triple Option teams go at it for the D2 National title
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Starting 2-6 just to go on a 5-1 run to get in the hunt only to lose on primetime on the road in December and be eliminated from the playoffs and inevitably finish with 7-8 wins and a draft pick outside of the top 10 is the MOST Dolphins thing to ever take place.
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The D2 national title is going to be as good as you can get. Ferris State: -15-0 defending national champs - 53.4 PPG - 29 game win streak (37-4 in last 41 games) Harding: - 15-0 (2023 national champs) - 42.6 PPG - 51-3 in last 54 games Every D2 title of the 2020s been them
The national championship match up is set. No. 1 Ferris State (15-0) will face No. 2 Harding (15-0) next Saturday in McKinney, Texas.
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“Army Navy is overrated”
Army Navy is overrated and completely wastes what could be an awesome day of football by being the only game on.
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