From now on, I have a Pavlovian response to I’ll Believe in Anything by Wolfe Parade. Dayum

Much like our freshman at Ybor bars, USF sneaks in at 18

Time to spread some propaganda… 😎

Say nothing, just laugh and repost 🤣🤣 https://t.co/REdqHOPkgR

@TeamStubHub

Okay, @StubHub we need help. Says tickets have been transferred but are not showing up anywhere. And the event is in 24 hours.

this legit must be how katniss felt when they made her do the hunger games a second time

For me to go to sleep tonight would require an anesthesiologist

Feel like I need an entire cheesecake or a low-key coma.

My generalized anxiety teaming up with my current very specific anxiety:

My Brain: HERE IS THAT NAME YOU ASKED FOR 6 HOURS AGO

American soccer culture is a guy wearing a Tottenham shirt sadly walking around the farmer’s market

There's a bit of sadness when you're at a restaurant and the food isn't delivered by Your Server. "and who ordered the Alfredo?" You don't know us at all. Jenny would know. Jenny would know who ordered the Alfredo.

Adults having breakfast at a friend’s apartment before heading off to work is the biggest lie television ever told me.

I’m gonna age myself but I have definitely used Napster to make a 50 state playlist back in my college days

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again The Fashion Industry: No.

I need Peacock Gold Zone, but for the Premier League. Can someone make that happen? I would also be happy with a multiview option.

“OK, THAT’S IT. YOU HAVE LOST YOUR SCOTCH TAPE PRIVILEGES!” I announce loudly up the staircase to whoever can hear me because motherhood turns you into a lunatic.

Whoever decided a full sweatsuit would be a great summer games media outfit can catch these hands.