Ilona Maher
@ilona_maher
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4,575
Following
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Media
10
Statuses
366
Team USA Rugby Sevens 🇺🇸
San Diego, CA
Joined April 2016
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He’s a ten but he honestly believes I wouldn’t be able to tackle him
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Hey, just thought I’d send a tweet out so you know I do this app too.
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A kid just asked me,“are you a bodybuilder?” First off, thank you. My diet is nowhere near that of a body builder. Second, have you actually seen body builders?
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More to be done.
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The year is 2023 and some man at the LA Sevens just asked me, “women play rugby?” Astonishing.
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Just saw the love of my life leave the bar with someone else. Granted I just met him an hour earlier and he can’t say my name correctly but still, we could have had something beautiful.
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Okay, so I’m now invested. My British accent could use some work but I know the GB sevens girls could help me
@Marvel
@MarvelStudios
Consider this my petition to get
@ilona_maher
cast as Capitan Carter in the live-action MCU. Her tagline is even
#beastbeautybrains
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Me (an adult woman) home for Christmas: my mom can drive us if your mom can pick us up
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Turns out, I don’t need alcohol to have fun. I’m just a really fun person. Shocking.
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Them: you’re not big, you’re beautiful.
Me: I never said I was ugly.
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Can we just make it the norm that people need something sweet after every meal. Not just dinner. Im at lunch and I have no chocolate or sugar to really close out the meal.
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A guy just told me “I don’t have the body for pull-ups”. Umm fuck you, sir. I can do four with a band.
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A broken ankle I can deal with but the constipation from the pain meds might take me out.
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Me to the most attractive man I’ve ever seen in my life: what’s good, big dawg.
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I'll be back.
SQUAD UPDATE |
@ilona_maher
has suffered an ankle injury and will remain out of
#Sydney7s
.
Women's Sevens return to face Russia at 9:12 PM ET
WATCH »
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I’m putting myself on mandatory bed rest after those tournaments.
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Somehow they still manage to spell my name wrong…
UNSTOPPABLE!
@ilona_maher
goes from one tryline to the other - by the direct route
#HSBC7s
|
#Spain7s
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May your confidence get bigger and your bikinis get smaller.
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Thank you Rugby for bringing the most amazing people into my life.
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Proud to represent my home state of Vermont.
As the Olympics get ready to kick off, we're proud to have two Vermonters on
@TeamUSA
:
@ellepurrier
and
@ilona_maher
. Elle and Ilona, I want you both to know Vermont stands proudly behind you, and although fans can’t be there, we’ll be with you in spirit, watching from home!
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This is tough but imma say myself.
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I got you
@KirsheBar
INJURY UPDATE | Ilona Maher replaces Kristi Kirshe ahead of the Eagles Autumn Internationals.
Wishing Kristi a speedy recovery. 🙏
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Had some guy say, “you eat a lot of carbs.” Ya, I need a lot of energy to make this all this money.
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Just got verified on Twitter. I have nothing to say but I thought I needed to tweet something.
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I’m not a superstitious person but I will knock on wood a couple times just for good measure.
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My Oma just told me, “if you didn’t have fun before midnight, you won’t have fun afterward.” Remembering this the next time I go out.
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Some people meditate. Others go to church. I go on long walks with an iced coffee through rich neighborhoods. It has the same effect for me.
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Beast
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I will never understand the people who say “I was so busy I forgot to eat”. I’m so busy eating that I forget to do other things.
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I was just too full to finish a bowl of ramen. This has never happened before in my life. I’m embarrassed. I’m angry at myself and my weak stomach. I hope I can get over this. 🙏🏼
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Might block my mom on Venmo. She keeps asking me to pay my cellphone bill. Really brings my vibes down.
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Still thinking about those Rugby World Cup Semi-Finals…just imagine how the finals will go
@WorldRugby
@rugbyworldcup
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Whomst would that be?
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Did this in one take.
Are you ready to watch
@USARugby
's powerhouse
@ilona_maher
at the Rugby World Cup Sevens from 9 - 11 September? 🦅
Get your tickets now:
#RWC7s
#AllRoadsLeadToCapeTown
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Honest to God, thought someone hacked my Amazon Prime account. Called them and everything. Turns out, I just buy way too much dumb sh!t. I’m my own worst enemy.
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My toxic trait is thinking I’ll save money by going grocery shopping instead of going out to eat but then I end up spending $70 at Trader Joe’s when I could have just bought a $10 sandwich and been happy.
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I’m ready!!
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Had a whole education on Taylor Swift this Christmas thanks to my sisters. I understand the hype.
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Physically could not leave Trader Joe’s until I found myself a sweet treat for the car ride home.
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Here’s the truth restaurants: no one wants your homemade tomato purée you call ketchup. We want good ole Heinz. Stop trying to be fancy and give us the shelf stable stuff.
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My nail lady just said I look like I could be straight out of high school and I don’t care if she didn’t mean it, I’m taking it to heart. Thank you.
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Me: What a rainy day! I’ll go sit at a coffee shop, indoors.
Everyone and their mother in San Diego: What a rainy day! I’ll go sit at a coffee shop, indoors.
Really thought I was onto something.
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I have a sinking suspicion I’m gonna get real into bird watching when I’m older
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Make sure when you’re on a date with a woman to not ask her any questions. If she asks you something do not under any circumstances reciprocate and try to get to know her on a deeper level.
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I really need to start telling myself, “you can order more if you’re still hungry”. Like, I really didn’t need to order 4 sushi rolls at once.
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Anyone who is burning incense in their home didn’t grow up in the catholic church. I get flashbacks whenever I get a whiff at my friend’s place.
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Came to Scottsdale, Arizona to check it out but turns out I’ll only be getting acquainted with Air Conditioned places.
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Let’s get ready to rumble!!
#NEWS
|
#USWNT7s
announce roster for opening round of
@WorldRugby7s
in Glendale Oct 5-6.
All matches streamed LIVE on
@NBCSportsGold
.
MORE »
TICKETS »
#USAW7s
|
#EaglesUnited
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I’m ashamed. Yesterday I went to get dinner and I checked how far of a walk it would be and maps said 8 minutes. Still I thought, “should I drive?”
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Won’t be out there with my girls but you know I’ll be watching!
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There may be no crying in the club but there is crying in the theater during that one part in Avatar 2.
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Wow, and this is the tournament I miss.
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Thinking about the time someone said I have “juicy traps”. Thank you to that person.
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Why does everyone from Massachusetts say they live “right outside Boston”? 40 minutes is not right outside, just give me a town name.
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My prediction for the most used phrase this summer:
“Wanna go to the beach and check out fighter pilots?”
I know this because I just texted this to a friend.
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This will cause her to fall madly in love with you and she will continue to want to spend time with you hearing your boring ass stories. Woman love listening and being silent. More dating tips to follow.
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I gotta start proofreading. I read my own tweets and think about how dumb I am.
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No, it’s all an elaborate plot I keep on all my social media platforms to seem cool. I’m actually a professional goat herder.
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Download the Amazon app on your phone. It will be totally fine. Famous last words.
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I guess strictly 7s right now 😢
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Let me host next year.
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Last night, my entree was $37 of wagyu and still I thought, “my mom makes this better”
@MienekeMaher
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Just had a COVID test that went so deep I think it turned into a Pap smear.
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Proud to represent the 🔴⚪️🔵. Follow me and the rest of the
@TeamUSA
athletes to celebrate America's Team on our
#RoadToTokyo
!
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Tune-in to hear about my undying love for Avatar the Last Airbender
Do your job.
@KirsheBar
and
@ilona_maher
chat quarantine and return to training in Episode 1 of
#ChasingEaglesPOD
.
🎙»
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I’m intrigued to see the pipeline of Love Island Producer to Hunger Games Gamemaker.
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My biggest fear used to be deep water but now I think it is my camera turning on when I’m pooping on a zoom call.
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Literally, goosebumps every time I watch this
#TBT
to
@chetaemba
's MVP play at home for the USA fans. Be there for more in LA.
#QuestForGold7s
BE THERE »
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Anyone else feeling uncomfortable when people in movies touch at all... what simpler times back then. Now I see a handshake as the ultimate form of indecency.
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Coffee roaster: Wow, the notes in this batch are impeccable. Can you taste a hint of cupcake?
Me: No Marco, I am unable to taste a delicious baked treat within a cup of this roasted bean juice.
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Instead of an Easter Egg Hunt this Sunday, let’s all hunt for our sanity.
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You won’t be disappointed
If you have not followed
@ilona_maher
on
@tiktok_us
then now is the time to be amused and educated 💪🏻
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A nice old lady just described me as “loaded”. I will take this as a complement
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Honestly, one of the best discussions I’ve ever had.
@Nayatapper
continues to teach me so much
🎧 Leo's Den 🎧 Ep3 has landed...
@Nayatapper
&
@ilona_maher
get real discussing Black culture and being an African American woman in professional rugby. Naya shares her experiences.
Download WiSP Sports on
@spreaker
or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Thanks for showing the folks back home what I've been up to!
Ilona Maher is a rising star for
@USARugby
women's sevens. My Q/A with the former
@BTVSchools
standout: via
@bfp_news
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It’s so hard to cough in 2020. I could be choking on some bread but I’ll think twice about coughing it up.
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37 years of Triple A and my dad doesn’t have RV coverage... granted he’s never rented an RV in his life but still, what if his daughter happens to go on an RV trip with friends and they get a flat in the middle of the desert. Think these things through, dad.
@vtpropdad
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Flowers are great and all but if a man gave me an Edible Arrangement I would marry him
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Woohoo! See y’all soon!
LA-bound 🇺🇸
We're delighted to confirm
#GB7s
' participation in the 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐬 pre-Olympic tournament in Los Angeles [25/26 June].
Full schedule, broadcast and live stream info to be communicated soon.
#NationalLottery
#ThanksToYou
#Tokyo2020
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