mimi
@Mrhflrs
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i am sure these two are lovely and kind and intelligent but they scare me so much
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has anyone checked on obama havent seen his shitty little playlist making its rounds
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UPDATE: we have found the Honda Fit that moved from its parking spot!!!!!!!! (Not the owners of silver car or black car but still exciting)
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@nori_reed
love the thought of a “robber” scrolling on tik tok and recognizing that door mat
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OMFG I JUST FOUND OUT I AM
@TIME
'S "PERSON OF THE YEAR" I AM SO HONORED, OR MAYBE THEY JUST FEATURED MY CAR WARS STORY NOT SURE BUT SAME DIFFERENCE
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you can probably catch me on Dateline after this bc silver car is going to kill me for ruining their driving reputation
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I don’t even care if I’m on
@TheEllenShow
can we at least just get some tix to her Xmas show bc this is the only way my mom will forgive me for dropping out of college and we’ve been trying. for. Years.
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Things that have not cured my acne:
-water
-water with lemon
-dermatologists
-proactiv
-facials
-working out
-viral fame
-changing out my pillow cases
-diet
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AND THE MOST UPSETTING PART OF THIS IS THAT THE ORIGINAL BLACK CAR MOVED FROM THEIR GD SPOT A MERE 20 MINS AFTER SECURING IT
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Didn’t realize there was a whole genre of people who have never heard of a weekend before. I am here to educate!
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Update: I have had a few people point out the car that i left the note on was a Mitsubishi Lancer and the car that was in the actual standoff was a Honda Accord(?) and I’d like to say I don’t know brands of cars and I don’t intend to learn thank you
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A major benefit of going viral is now I have 7000+ followers to ask if I should get bangs, and then not listen to any of you and get them anyway
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my dog wrote this
Raw squirrels for breakfast. Proper squirrel intake fixes 95.7% of your health
Squirrel is very easy to grow, yet they only sell cows that are hard to raise? Tells you something, they dont want you to feel the vitality of squirell
Eat squirrel = You become cute like a squirell
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The general theme of this thread is “black car vs silver car” NOT “black 2006 Honda Accord with 4-wheel drive vs 1920 Silver Mitsubishi Thunderbolt hatchback V6 engine” FOR A REASON
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@mcolucciii
@SirWhaleMan
@Crumps2
My opinion is that cops should not use lethal force on unarmed civilians / I don’t want the cops to hurt/kill anyone, including the unarmed woman who was murdered today. Must you be so dense?
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my mom criticized the riots and i asked "if a cop killed me what would you do" and she said "i would kill everyone in los angeles"
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venmoed a Depop girl for a top and her most recent transaction was “ketamine” 💘
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Okay starting now, my loyal followers I’ll never forget all (44) of you
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all this attn in my personal feed is making it very difficult to do my actual job sorry
@tsmsayswhat
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there’s a tiny man at Home Depot carrying a wind chime around before he checks out. it’s adding an unexpected dose of femininity and magic that I crave when lumber shopping
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I mean this whole-heartedly when I say my mom could absolutely kick your mom’s ass
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I was so depressed I watched cars park for 2 hours
What if I suddenly move into a depressing studio apartment in koreatown
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throwing away the packaging to a frozen meal to end up retrieving it from the garbage to read the directions is another one of my practices
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You could use a paper straw OR, if you’re super eco-friendly like me, use a t shirt to soak up the beverage and wring it out in your mouth
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the bernie memes will reach their final form when it’s revealed that he’s made of cake
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My fierce loyalty and love of drama makes me think I’m Lannister but my hair screams free folk
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I am the girl who watched cars park for 2 hours and I endorse Bernie Sanders for President
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but im a 26 yr old drama queen and not the president of the united states, so i guess that is where we differ
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slipped and spilled coffee everywhere, you can sense my level of drama from this crime scene photo
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i wrote a note to my elderly neighbor offering to go to the grocery store for her if she didn’t feel comfortable doing so and she wrote back saying she goes to the gym *very early* every morning and is in great health. i love that bitch!!!!!
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I think every single one of my friends has offered to help me move apartments. Like did all of you sleep with my boyfriend, what sort of debt are you trying to pay ????????????
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i know, this is not the ending of black car vs silver car that u imagined
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If anyone has an accutane connect or access to an actual wizard please lmk
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It’s my boyfriends bday today which means approximately 4 ex girlfriends should hit him up today to wish him a happy birthday and hope he is well
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inadvertently broadcasted that i didn't know there were different types of mangoes on instagram and now a bunch of mango purists are in my DMs trying to mango-splain
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you tweet one simple, fleeting observation/joke and swarms of strangers are mad at you... im going back to tweeting about my new bangs
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