๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐
@Mocha_Jesus
Followers
1,468
Following
1,286
Media
2,583
Statuses
42,486
Never watched the cartoon Pod: @NewOGsPod Purpose: @StateMadison All Black Lives Matter โ๐ฟโ๐พโ๐ฝ ๐พ๐ค๐ข๐๐-๐๐ช๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ค-๐๐ค๐ก๐ฎ๐๐๐ข๐-๐ฟ๐๐๐ He/Him
๐๐ฌ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ญ
Joined January 2009
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Pinned Tweet
I spend a lot of my life wondering whether I need to throw up or not.
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@UncleJohnsban
@ArawakSky
@keithgiles
He was trying to hand them back one of their fucking soldier helmets.
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@Mikel_Jollett
@budarydachas
Yeah, this isn't Adderall-shaming. This is pointing out signs of abuse in relation to the president's appearance and demeanor.
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@RedPillBlackMan
The Republican party was what the Democratic party is now, when it comes to it's relationship with black people. I'm tired of having to point out the flipping of the parties over time when it comes to their feelings and actions on POC.
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@shadenfrau
@_jimmykelly
@eileenchongpoet
@reddit
Until the current financial rulers try to change the rules again, yes.
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@noysecomplaint
@pakinamamer
@LamarrHed
@JandEsdad
@nashfung
@MarinaMarraco
@fox5dc
I don't think there's a chance in hell he'd do that if a dude was sitting there.
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Da fuck is a preborn baby? That's not a thing. You're talking about, "not a baby". That's an embryo and at best a fetus, but neither are actual babies, because babies are things that live outside of a womb.
Hey
@Trevornoah
โIโve investigated Planned Parenthood for 10 yrs (my org has 600 mill video views). Their focus is abortion & they lie about their services. They kill 900 preborn babies daily. Letโs discuss REAL womenโs healthcare (amazing work being done) + the value of ALL life
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@celtic_traveler
@ChuckBartosz
@carolinefstein
@qanon76
@realDonaldTrump
Yes, while there was no formal reading of sides, the social reform programs of the 30's, followed by the Civil Rights movement, ridden on the backs of the Southern Strategy, pushed white racists largely to the GOP & the Dems became a more minority/labor driven party.
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@KingHodgest
Anybody who knew about R. Kelly knew about the R. Kelly situation the whole time.
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70% of people are lactose intolerant and yet...
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It's weird how we call
@realDonaldTrump
an expert businessperson, but
@Oprah
is the one who built a multi-billion dollar empire out of literally nothing but hard work and overcoming.
#Oprah2020
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@noysecomplaint
@pakinamamer
@LamarrHed
@JandEsdad
@nashfung
@MarinaMarraco
@fox5dc
I think you underestimate how intimidating a 6'2" 250lb brotha is, sitting in front of a dude who looks like that.
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Been playing around about getting this vasectomy, but it looks like I'm gonna go ahead and knock that out based on what's going on right now.
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I'm out here cutting 6 pack rings and recycling my one bag of recyclables every week and corporations are out here doing this shit while telling us to watch our eco footprint...
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@savannamarier
Judas sold him out for pocket change. If wages were poppin', he wouldn't have gotten bought out so easily
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Every episode of The Last Of Us is a character study on another way that humans are terrible and how we don't deserve this planet.
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@cardi_ree
I've had people tell me about a white dude they know with my last name and then suggest we might be related, and I tell them, "only through ownership." That usually ends that bullshit, too.
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Really hoping we get to Avengers: Infinity War before we get to Planet Earth: Nuclear War.
#InfinityWarTrailer
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She wins. Make up an award, idk.
Megan Thee Stallion throws out the first pitch in her hometown ๐คฉ
๐ฟ: White Sox-Astros
๐บ: ESPN
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Ok
#BullsNation
, the
@chicagobulls
have announced they're serious this year, but they need to remember everybody else knows now, too.
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There is no far-left person who would also suggest that voting for Trump is on the table
Far-left comic Michael Rapaport says voting for Trump is โon the tableโ after seeing migrants beat down cops in Times Square
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As the father of a young woman, this is my energy until she says otherwise!
"If You Ever Hurt My Daughter, I Swear to God Iโll Let Her Navigate Her Own Emotional Growth" via
@NewYorker
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Vince McMahon is restarting the
#XFL
because he looked at the Illuminati projections and got worried there weren't going to be enough suicidal black men with dementia from CTE in 10-20 years.
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Funniest thing I watched this week was a superhero dancing alone in his mobile home, shotgunning bong hits to a butterfly-looking alien in a jar.
#Peacemaker
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How is the
@Starbucks
in
@Target
out of Splenda? That shit is in aisle 4! Y'all need me to go grab a box for y'all or what?!
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Hulu, Disney, ESPN+, HBO, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Peacock, and the CW are combining all their streaming apps into this new thing they're gonna call, "cable".
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We're at the point of the pandemic where I tell people I haven't had Covid, and they're like, "Nah, you've probably had it, tho."
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If Gobert was gonna punch Kyle Anderson for something, it should have been that turnover he just committed.
#NBAPlayoffs
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And as you extrapolate out descendants, family ties, and friends of Congressional slaveowners, you end up with a rather unsavory portion of society still in league with them
Why couldn't the U.S. Congress move more forcefully against slavery earlier in its history? 1,700 members over the years had enslaved human beings. The last former "slaver" served until 1922,
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@theashleyray
Also, do not hit me up with, "how's it coming along?" if I haven't come to you with challenges.
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In the last 24 hours a whole lotta people are learning they've been coercively controlled by a partner...๐
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Every time I hear someone say something like "Such-and-such movie wasn't necessary," I laugh. Nobody "needs" movies. I love 'em, but civilization has lived all but about 120 years without them. You're gonna have to complain better than that, homie.
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What does your only wanting to sleep with one person at a time have to do with me? ๐คฃ
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Has anyone told Donald Trump that he's actually a huge dork?
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@TheKipko
@Saiyaham
@denisewu
@mehmerzouk
Sounds like a problem with the system and not the people stuck in it
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Cody Zeller looks like his high school coaches were Gene Hackman and Dennis Hopper
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@GarrieIrons
@ChrisWBlackwell
@sultryglebe
The point of prison should be rehabilitation and self-improvement so as to inhibit recidivism.
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The hardest thing to obtain on the planet has to be druthers, because everyone tells you what they'd do if they had 'em, but nobody ever tells you that they got 'em.
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Marithรฉ + Franรงois Girbaud
Without saying your age, Name a Clothing Brand that was popular when you were in High School.
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I just found some presidential classified documents in my dog's poop.
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Kyrie, while talking about Durant going to Phoenix: "I'll get to see him a little bit more..."
Y'all were teammates!
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Going to Naperville (a different county) to get reactions about Chicago's new mayor is ridiculous. Trying to use a Black man's tragedy that happened during the previous administration to claim the next wouldn't be good is shitty and manipulative. What a piece of shit move.
Breakfast with โFriendsโ: Gianno Caldwell talks new Chicago mayor with diners
Gianno Caldwell asks diners their reaction to Brandon Johnson being sworn in as Chicago Mayor. Segment:
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Along with everything else that's great about
@msmarvel
so far, the color palette is simply amazing.
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Entering hour 4 of waiting in line at the airport to find out what to do about my canceled flight with
@SouthwestAir
. The customer service people are amazing. The lack of available ones to help is a management issue
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"That got out of hand, quickly"
- guy after his first slippery dildo holding competition
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White women who refer to Black men as "chocolate" = ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ
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Hi - this is your friendly reminder that
@BarackObama
's tax cut in 2013 saved American taxpayers almost twice as much as
@realDonaldTrump
's ($321 billion to $190 billion.)
#TaxScamBill
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A 63 year old from Indiana who has somehow not had Dunkin Donuts until today may not be as in touch with the people as his robotic tweets and overall lifestyle might lead you to believe.
I heard New Hampshire and America run on
@dunkindonuts
, had to check it out for myself ๐บ๐ธ
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Some men just deserve to be alone...the women in their lives should oblige them...
Keke Palmerโs boyfriend shames her for the outfit she wore to Usher concert:
โIt's the outfit tho.. you a mom.โ
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Unwritten Driving Rule:
Any place with a speed limit of 30 or less is pretty fuckin' serious about it.
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Chicago is the most, "hey you can totally get away with peeing in this alley," city.
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That thin blue line gets even fainter when you remove any traces of black from it...
#MEMPHIS
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"It's weird" is a fun way to say, "I'm not smart enough to understand"
Itโs weird that the nuclear blasts vaporized brick houses but not the old timey camera recording it.
Itโs because nukes are fake.
Hiroshima and Nagasaki never had any fall out radiation. The whole narrative and all the evidence is absurd.
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Is anything in those balloons going to fix what's happened in East Palestine? Cuz the imbalance of coverage is throwing me.
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It's not the 'Christmas' part of "Merry Christmas" that's an issue for me. It's the disassociative audacity of thinking that as a human on this current timeline, a simple greeting of seasonal merriment will bridge the existential dread.
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MAGA idiots claiming they don't care about
#TrumpTaxReturns
are just telling on themselves that they're cool with being lied to, as long as the liar is into proper fascist bullshit
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I've seen a couple commercials for
@Genexa
and nothing could be grosser than trying to use "clean" as an adjective for anything other than soap. The implication that anything other than your product is "dirty", sucks.
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White people will say they aren't racist like they haven't regularly missed my passing ass was in the room when they popped off on a rant. The number of times I've either physically fought, punked someone out, or got pulled to the side for an apology is well into double digits.
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The problem with the "relationship goals" settings now offered by
@tinder
, is they're still built around the singular concept of monogamy. You can fit any of these categories & still not be interested in exclusivity. Relationship length doesn't necessarily equal relationship type
Tinder launches โRelationship Goalsโ to follow in sister dating app Hingeโs footsteps by
@laurenforristal
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People out here commenting on Will & Jada like we don't remember all the different couples photos they've deleted from social media over the years where they were the villain.
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Conservatives love to say electric vehicles aren't going to succeed, meanwhile Exxon and BP are investing billions into installing chargers across the country. Look, if the people who make the gas are investing in growing the "competitors" footprint, we know where this is going.
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It's always a dude who looks like he gave up on himself 20 years ago
Itโs in a womanโs best interest to be cooperative and more serving once she reaches 40 if she wants to continue to be a factor in the dating market. Even as a wife.
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Finally got myself a bidet and discovered my place has tremendous water pressure.
Also, I'm a soprano now.
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In the year of somebody's Lord, 2022, with all the internets available, a dude lied about every qualification in his entire past and got elected to Congress; and now I'm realizing I could've been a multiple-term Senator by now if it was that easy to just bullshit your way in.
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World Class phony
January 6th objector Marjorie Taylor Greene:
โOf course Joe Bidenโs the president. Thatโs always a silly question.โ
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People are like, "you don't really mean EAT the rich, right?" And then I show them this and they're like, "Pick his bones clean."
Property developer and CEO Tim Gurner: "We need to see unemployment rise. Unemployment has to jump 40, 50 percent in my view. We need to see pain in the economy. We need to remind people that they work for the employer, not the other way around."
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Damn, I've been found out!
A massive object devastated Uranus a long time ago and it never fully recovered
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I love the dudes who bring up Jonah Hill's appearance as a reason for his behavior like much more attractive dudes don't do the same shit
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In 2023, Google that shit yo damn self!
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There are American citizens who will argue they need to keep their guns in order to fight the government if it became tyrannical. Meanwhile that government is calmly drone striking dudes in countries they're not supposed to even be flying over. It's peak insanity.
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You can't call soccer boring because they don't score enough goals and then get mad when the game is decided by a goal scoring contest.
#FIFAWorldCup
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Perfect
I can actually hear the jingle in our newest STFU About Chicago design. Big thanks to
@mattlindner
for the suggestion.
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We're getting live with it today at 2! Find
@robert_l_hines
,
@XLComedy
, and me on
@PeopleOfComedy
channels or on The New OGs today!
Ice Cube & Aaron Rodgers vax issues, an NBA owner in trouble, misplaced election night blame & more with
@robert_l_hines
,
@xlcomedy
&
@mocha_jesus
coming at ya live at 2pm today on
@PeopleOfComedy
! Find us on Twitch or Youtube, & like/subscribe wherever you get your pods!
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Then it's probably liberal as fuck, ya goof
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Can someone in the food service industry explain how it takes longer to make a burger with no bun than to make one with a bun?
Because, it's less ingredients, but always seems to befuddle the kitchen.
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Do people not get that Leave The World Behind is not about the larger drama unfolding largely off -screen? It's a plot device that sets the stage for a character study.
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It's almost 3 in the morning and my 75 year old mother and I have been in a line to get tickets rebooked at
@SouthwestAir
for almost 5 hours. When we were a few people from the front they shut the line down and sent us upstairs to main ticketing where we are now hours away again.
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"Look, I've done nothing but try to shut down the government, impeach your president, and I refuse to work with Democrats. I just don't know why they wouldn't vote for me."
Kevin McCarthy, probably
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As a
@WhiteSox
and
@chicagobulls
fan, I feel like deciding to support
@SpursOfficial
in the Premier League was the perfect pick to keep up my string of inconsistency and missed expectations from my favorite teams. Lol
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Weed is a great cover for being a little dumb sometimes
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I hate to be the bearer of true news, but if you were dishonorably discharged 14 years ago, and you were arrested in another country, 4 years ago, being referred to as a Marine is definitely a stretch of the truth.
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They are out of their minds
Wow. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton (R) said he is โwilling and ableโ to defend a Texas law that bans gay people from having sex in their own homes if the Supreme Court reconsiders its 2003 Lawrence v. Texas decision that overturned the law.
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Irony would be the police showing up and saving the guy who says the police don't show up, nut lint.
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You know Jesus was Black because white people that claim to like him obviously just liked how cool he was but didn't actually listen to the shit he was saying, and that's the Black celebrity experience in a nutshell.
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The internet and tv in my hotel room have been messed up since I got back this afternoon. These fools gave ME a number to call to try and get it fixed. Uh, you're the hotel, YOU call for service, dummy! Lol
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Every dating profile in Vegas is either, "Love Jesus and guns, looking for my forever masculine man,"
or
"Ready to be turned out among you and your friends while my husband watches."
This city is so contrastingly hilarious.
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That's it folks, we are sold out for our Valentine's Day show. Tickets are currently on sale for our next show on March 14th and will likely also go quickly so grab yours now! (Link in my bio) @ Hollywood Palms Cinema
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Just say y'all got a little kink in you. Let's throuple for Jesus or whatever! ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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