Charlie wa Mtaa
@Mangua_
Followers
1,127
Following
403
Media
2,103
Statuses
109,201
Brilliant. Witty. Hyperverbal. Well read. Needy. Liar. Old-Kanye West state of Mind
Tigoni, Kenya
Joined September 2011
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
DAVI NO DOMINGAO
• 331657 Tweets
Corinthians
• 146632 Tweets
Knicks
• 101555 Tweets
Wesley
• 94809 Tweets
Lite
• 90188 Tweets
Brunson
• 85957 Tweets
Kyrie
• 85242 Tweets
Díaz
• 73776 Tweets
Luka
• 62242 Tweets
Harden
• 61392 Tweets
Clippers
• 58924 Tweets
LOBOS COM AMSTEL
• 50833 Tweets
De Santis
• 49995 Tweets
Bucks
• 49928 Tweets
Sixers
• 49777 Tweets
昭和の日
• 42790 Tweets
Mavs
• 41445 Tweets
#ラヴィット
• 29964 Tweets
Felipe Melo
• 29031 Tweets
Pacers
• 27177 Tweets
Paul George
• 26757 Tweets
Diniz
• 23227 Tweets
Maurício
• 18209 Tweets
ATAQUE FURIOSO
• 14187 Tweets
#Canucks
• 12577 Tweets
Giannis
• 11703 Tweets
Emelec
• 10191 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
Kuna time life ilikuwa imenitwanga and I thought the only way out was to become a preacher, bought a Bible and a grey suit and that clargy collar.. God came through before I started conning people
Btw can a kawaida guy get that priest's attire? If so where?
34
11
36
179
1K
2K
Totally understand you, nlikuwa naishi kwa zile ploti za tene, dirisha mahali iko ni barabara.. one night nikaskia watu wakiwhisper nikaenda kuchungulia kwa window nikakutana na uso ya jamaa, I screamed a good three minutes alafu nikaingia chini ya bed! Very normal reaction
Huko ruiru place nilikuwa naishi nishawahi pata msee akijaribu hivi. Wenye mnasema mnaweza kata iyo mkono hamjui shit nilipanda kwa kitanda nikaanza kupiga nduru hahaha
224
1K
3K
134
647
2K
Kuishi kwa nyumba ya mabati in itself is hilarious, especially kama hiyo ploti Haina fence jamaa wanatembea Usiku wakislap mabati unashtuka karibu udenki
14
102
239
@SpokespersonGoK
But in all honesty, Kenyan citizens seem more proactive in preventing further spreading of the virus than the Government, my two Bob though
4
4
77
@NahashonKimemia
@Kalashnikov_74U
Inappropriate physical contact doesn't necessarily amount to sexual harassment
5
3
73
Gotta respect that woman
Honestly who is going 2 advice this greenhorn by th name of
@edwinsifuna
? We are making th
@TheODMparty
play ground so tiny that their jokers will have a very limited area where to fool Kenyans with tibim, tialala, etc. Congratulations
@HonJumwa
for ua commitment 2 th New Kenya
694
250
963
12
9
60
I legit walked into KPLC offices in Nyeri to protest a bill of Ksh. 3350 and a photo of my current meter reading and walked out with a bill of Ksh. 14,105 and I wasn't in that house for one whole month 😢
@KenyaPower_Care
19
38
50
Kuna vipofu watatu around Koja nlihesabia coins nikiwa bank ikafika 100k.. our operations manager used to tell us disabled people make more money begging than us watu wa operations and I just couldn't continue working there
Time i was working as an assistant cashier pale naivas on October 31st kuna a kiwete who came in akaenda straight kwa cashier,she had a kabag kalikua kamejaa coins and she wanted to change them to notes,walihesabu zikafika 70,260ksh buana,hiyo ilikua kama salary yangu ya 6 months
44
122
1K
2
9
53
What's Overseas Transport Company?? It's Onyango Twende choo, stop with the lies
In 1934, the Overseas Transport Company (OTC) of London introduced the first local bus in Kenya using a fleet of 13 buses on 12 routes.
20
243
561
3
9
41
@osumo_brad
1. Plan your feeding program 3 months in advance
2. Concentrates and dewarmers are your friend
3. Improve your cows generic over time
4. Get patient staff, animals need to be treated gently
5. Dairy farming is involving, be available
0
6
39
@Osama_otero
There's a culture on KOT ya kujaribu kuwa savage, even on sensitive matters jamaa wanaongea upus unprovoked
1
1
40
This shit ought to stop! Smh it's not funny considering guys are disappearing off the streets in broad daylight
2
6
30
Sasa nani alikwambia napenda kukunja nguo? Which is true btw
Kuna a mental disorder inaitwa OCD, jamaa huwa obsessed na usafi, msee hawezi lala kama hajafua nguo zake zote na hajapanguza keja , viatu anasugua mpaka sole. Mangua anakunja na anapiga pasi daily , haezi rudia ngotha.
24
48
164
0
9
33
Jana tukitoka drinks uku Samburu this brown fluffy dog started following us kidogo kidogo it started running and someone said ni Hyena, dame mnono wa team alifika hotel mbele ya kila mtu na akifika hakuwa na viatu🤣🤣🤣
4
11
32
@alexmwanzo
I've made plenty of great friends since I got a car that breaks down often, I have learnt basic mechanics, I've learnt how to import parts and make kidogo money out of it.. would definitely do it over again in the exact same way!
1
0
33
Ushai Jenga rental apartments na Ile 225M ya sportpesa?? Niko na estate mzima 😭😭
2
5
30
Alafu kapatane na grasshopper and everything goes to the dogs😂😂
2
4
25
@juanne4life
My DL expired in Dec.. My insurance is due next month hakuna roadblock napita walahi! It's witchcraft! Even on a Saturday!!
0
0
25
I now understand why employers are against work place romance!!
Jamaa wa kukamua wameshikana na dame alikuwa analima shambani huku ni kama La Hacienda wanafinyania Hadi uko kwa njokû...
3
6
24
@erick_calyst
@AnonimousTweep
@kibettnick
The higher the production the higher the consumption of raw materials
1
0
23
Smh, my form 2 cousin has just returned home ati teachers are on strike.. But amemaliza shopping and pocket money
3
36
13
Rabbit used to deliver his mixtapes himself! Best Believe!
This is me a years back at Imenti House burning my mixtapes then niingie Mtaani and Matatus as a music hawker. Believe!!
269
890
7K
1
1
20
But media houses are owned or financed by..
1
3
17
Nishai enda na mathe kwa tailor akashindwa kubargain akajam akanilima ng'oto and from then up to today nakaanga mbali na yeye juu sikuelewa why alinilima ngumi upside down badala alime tailor
Our mothers walikua wanatuona vita unashuku you're not even their kid. They were constantly angry wanangonja uguze trigger watoe hasira. Was it the Moi economy ama ni nini?
Afasali wa siku hizi wanalewa na wanavuruta ile kitu ingine wanapunguza stress.
37
131
205
5
14
16
@tiluthecreator
@Ch3roh
Cream is just discharge, unless she's thick, then it's melting ice cream
2
1
15
@omwambaKE
Avensis huwa na camber mbele, adjustable by moving shock ndani ama nje, this one looks like needs kuitoatoa nje..
1
1
16
Ndii lied to this guy and we shall suffer 😂
President Ruto has instructed Treasury to cease borrowing at pricing >10% domestically. Unless he plans to do something radical around the Kes 581.7 billion planned for domestic borrowing in FY2022/23, this is dead on arrival. Recent IFB fetched 13.98%. Money has a price
140
223
546
2
5
15
Mutinda was a bit arrogant when Nonini said his rights were infringed and the rulling has made me happy
0
4
16
@Caradvicekenya
Up until last year I was the King of Kangosho until a Q3 humbled.. me but he was gracious enough to wait for me at Karatina tukafululiza Hadi Nanyuki mdogo mdogo
2
1
15
Y'all just emotional with the KFC debate, Kenyan agricultural sector isn't standardized and most are small scale farmers
3
8
12
Daddy Yankee dropped a jam 3 hrs ago and it's at 1.4 M views, by Monday it will be 15 M by end of the month it'll be 800 M
1
1
12
@Gideon_Kitheka
@SakajaJohnson
It's noise if you are being a nuisance to the community around the church
0
1
13
She refused to go back to her place it's been three years now
Married people what made you decide that person is the one?
153
114
1K
1
5
12
@moengacliff
Kuna place M-Net (Mathare North) tulikuwa tunadish ivi alafu ikafungwa without notice, kuulizia jamaa was arrested with among others - dog meat. I must say mbwa sio ngumu kama punda
2
1
11
Inakuwanga Onyango something.. not sure though
2
3
11
For dailies:
Cold season: Spice bomb extreme/Armani Code/ Armani Stronger with you Intensely
Hot weather: YSL Y intense/ Versace Dylan Blue
For special occasions:
0
4
9
😂😂 story of my life
"Nikikuambia vitu zinahitajika kwa hii gari tunalala hapa, fanya hivi... enda ntakupigia simu."
31
256
1K
0
2
11
I had a 1kg tin of BB mum brought me on visiting, jioni Menji, bully No.1, anakuja na vijiko mbili nimwekee BB, ndo asinisumbue Sana I scooped generously.. akaziangalia akasema nimempea mob Sana nliwache tu aende na ile kidogo imebaki kwa mkebe, bro I cried!
1
0
11
Sijui kama ilikuwa tomboy but huyo dame time nilimshow aget on top niliskia ameniinua miguu juu ni kama anataka nifanye backflip.. mind you I am tall and skinny
Men on my timeline, have you ever fvcked a tomboy? How was the experience? Did they get attached after the act?
40
76
545
3
2
11
Who wants heavily mixed pupps, our dog raws it with whatever man
7
12
11
I thought a hyena and a zebra had too much to drink
Despite having Zebra-like features, Okapi is the only living relative to Giraffe
1K
10K
131K
0
7
11
😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
0
1
10
In some estate I know.. it's also illegal to burn vegetation without giving your neighbors at least two days notice.. something called Grass Fire Act and white residents are very keen on having it followed
I never knew it is illegal to wash your car in your compound...
98
169
2K
0
3
9
@gud_boyfriend
@droid254
They matter coz deserving candidates miss proper University placements..
2
1
10
"Taxes are an annual subscription to the country you live in and childhood is the free trial.."
0
7
10
You see the black wire behind? remove it then put it back, everything will be back to normal..
0
1
9
@Stan_Subru
@alexmwanzo
@SpaceYaMagari
@BirdbikersKe
@TDi_Skoda
We ideally 'warm up' engines to get the oil to temperature for maximum lubrication and ease of flow in the engine/viscosity, you can drive off with a 'cold' engine but don't load it too much to get it to temp, a generator is basically idling and am a desktop mechanic
2
0
10
Bro we used to listen to this song and cry
1
3
10
🤣🤣🤣 kwani watu huosha matumbo na sabuni kama towel???
0
1
8
I think Bob Collymore's a.k.a should be Bobby Mapesa or Bobby M-Pesa
1
4
9
Nairobi is a strange place..
You get a good job, work for three years improving your life pole pole.
You move up to a decent house in a decent neighborhood.
You buy a small car for weekend runs which doubles up as a taxi during the weekends..
2
15
9
Unrelated, those auto movers guys are unsung heroes! Walinikujia Miharati deep in Nyandarua County at night and dropped my jalopy on Loita St. And dropped me on Thika Rd at a very affordable price! Have them in your contact list coz you never know..
0
5
8
Peng🥵🥵
This is how I got ready today 💖 about to do Christmas at the club 🇹🇿🤷🏽♀️ merry chrimbo yal
19
55
574
0
1
7
Trust me, this business is what I live on..
0
2
7
My cousin went to Dubai in 2015 and came to visit only once in 2016..
Today my aunt went to see a sick friend's child and guess who was sitting in line to see the doctor with a four year old and another little baby in her arms? My cousin!
6
17
8
1. We sold agricultural land for so little that we couldn't afford land elsewhere.. you are left with no money and no land to farm
What are the major causes of high rates of alcoholism in Central Kenya?
208
141
1K
0
1
7
Uyo dame
1
1
6
In 2019 when I came to Nyeri for the first time, i was waiting for the bank to open its doors and two very old men were smoking and i politely asked them to smoke elsewhere and one old man told the other 'Mahinja aruga tuhorie mwaki'..
I was spellbound!
4
2
7
Being robbed at shit-point, TWICE! Mara ya pili it was 10 a.m na bado alinipaka and I had to walk back home
3
1
6
SMH, it had to be a nigga going at other niggas minding their own business
For the last couple of months, I have been transacting purely on Mpesa. I also use matatu often. I have noticed more than 50% of the Kikuyu touts have a lady's surname. This tells you alot about our society and the fatherless-ness issue. Again look at the sector they are in.
241
560
3K
0
0
6
Jembe unaingia shambani 3 a.m watu wakiamka 6 wewe ndo unarudi kwa nyumba
Watu wa kitambo mtu akiamka mapema time kama hii juu usingizi imeisha alikuwa anafanya nini?
Juu sisi tuko na phones for that case
19
19
118
1
1
6
Jana nliambiwa na wazee wa uko Samburu, the key to a happy marriage is three wives
Mtu asiwahi wadanganya ati married men are the happiest...married men hua the most depressed juu ya stress kutoka kwa bibi
36
36
125
1
4
7
I know someone with an L sign going two years now..
Also, let them keep left, cannot be at 40kph or the right hand of the highway with your indicator on for 3 kms
1
2
6