Im getting old😂 All I do is Check my Credit, my Bank Account and my Email

u didn’t have a lit childhood if u were never chased by a rooster

awake... but at what cost

Went in for a consultation, came out with braces. My boyfriend is calling me “Darla”

I like direct deposit

never forget

There’s our little “Tik Toker” shake a little ass for us!

Can’t tell if the headache is from the alcohol, the acetone (re-painted my nails), or the debate

I was wearing crest 3D white strips while running properties yesterday and a lady asked me how I like Invisalign Reverse marketing I now want Invisalign

Normalize saying “years young” after being asked your age

As many Facebook posts and medical tv shows I’ve watched, I have still never been able to recognize a baby in an ultrasound #confessions

Rona survivor ‘20

Thinking about the time one of our administrators in high school announced at lunch that he had found Vera Bradley’s lunch box and asked her to come pick it up

New song I wrote yesterday with @Brent_Cobb and @BigRobSnyder called "Six Feet Apart." It's about the current times and us looking forward to the day all of this is over. I hope y'all like it.

JUST IN: 93-year-old Olive Veronesi of Seminole, PA, who held up a sign at her window asking for more beer, has received a delivery from @CoorsLight. The brand tells me 150 cans arrived at her house today.

Instagram has officially become casual #uNtiLtOmoRroW

Say what you will about all this, but rationing food has really helped my diet stick

COVID spelt backwards is DIVOC and what DIVOC going on