Lil Sasquatch
@lilsasquatch66
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alt @lilsamsquanch66 | Listen to @SonOfABoyDad | stand up tickets below
New York City
Joined March 2014
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Pinned Tweet
Pretty crazy draft night. Didn’t see this coming, thank you.
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Just checked the Santa Tracker. He’s at her house. Right now. Fuck my life man.
💔
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Refuse to believe this guy is a real human
Mark Zuckerberg surfboards in Hawaii with way too much sunscreen
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There’s our little “Tik Toker” shake a little ass for us!
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White kids be like “what’d you get for thanksgiving”
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“kim been married 3 times kanye is not the problem 😂😂”
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Loved this one Jason! Great cock!
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White kid in my class just texted me “don’t come to zoom tomorrow” tf going on here
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Damn I wish nothing but the absolute worst for her ❤️
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No one:
White guy who doesn’t know if he remembered his wallet:
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Sorry I forgot to get back to you I was on Tik Tok for 15 consecutive hours
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Alcoholic twitter be like “just tryna marry someone who will pregame at 6am to watch our kids open presents under the tree on Christmas morning 😍”
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I'm stumped between Lil Uzi Vert and Michelle Obama
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White girl packing for college checklist:
- tapestry ✅
Alright that’s about it let’s hit the road
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God this is so fucking cool. Smoking weed is actually so fucking sick.
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“Oh yeah sorry I forgot to clean my car lol you can just throw that stuff in the back seat”
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This has 220 thousand likes on Tik Tok. Like why I literally don’t understand one aspect of what I just watched
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Your boyfriend is celebrating 4/20? That’s fun. I’ll probably wake up early and go for a run. Thinking 10 miles. Something light. Maybe do some writing after. Hope he has a good time tho 😂👍
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Bro really filmed this in front of his friends and not one of them was like “yo maybe don’t post that one”
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Student athletes be like “sorry about the elderly and the sick but lets take a moment and think about the real victims here, our seniors, who were stripped of their last season, their last moment under those lights, their last pep talk, their last 6am lift, their last moment in t
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"Mom don't forget to say that Cactus jack sent us"
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Do girls find this shit attractive?? Like bro just had a fucking seizure for 4 seconds ??
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Sorry kids, I quit my job today, moneys going to be tight for a little bit and we probably won't be doing "Christmas" this year, but check out this sick text exchange between me and my boss, this shits about to do crazy numbers on twitter
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High School teacher tries to play Kahoot with his class
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Dad this was your dream not mine
Name something you can say during a baseball game and sex
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White person: [hits juul]
Other white person: give me your keys you aren’t driving home
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Imagine dropping 500k on college just to skip classes and have your back blown out by a dude wearing a lacrosse piney and sperries LMAOOO he gonna tell all his friends you’re a bitch and give brutal top too LMFAOOOOOO his name prolly something like Connor LMFAOOO
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my tummy after i eat nothing:
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I am just fat, that’s all
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RA just punched me 55 times in the chest because he found an extension cord in my dorm room 🤦♂️
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Imagine posting something like this and then having to walk into school the next day
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can't believe this didn't work
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Y’all be like “Alexa is it true that the Tik Tok app is farming data?”
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Shower time, adderall, a glass of whiskey....and diesel jeans
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Dudes be 18+ talking about “who want me” bro the US military ❗️❗️❗️
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Kids at sleepover:
White dad at 3 am: it’s time to shut it down
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Her LMAO’s have faded into lmao’s, it’s time to move on bro there’s no future there
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Seriously the craziest day of my entire life holy fuck I’m literally shaking right now
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He sucking off jesus!!!
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Me: just hear me out man
Roommate: bro we aren’t pushing the beds together
Me: fuck you
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This is my son. He got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine yesterday and woke up like this. Great. Just great.
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The year is 2023:
Jojo Siwa pleads guilty to 48 counts of first degree murder
Tom Brady retires from the NFL
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dudes will smoke one cigarette and change their major to film
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Some dudes at a party rn asking your girl if she’s ticklish
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this isn't funny my dad died at broadcast journalism school
I studied broadcast journalism in college for 3 whole months to prepare for this moment
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Matty B could beat the fuck out of me and that’s just something I have to accept
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Fellas I think we should all strive to be a little more like @ the_outlaw_1999 in the future
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I cannot believe this, this is so sad 🙁😢
He had so much going for him too 🏀❌☹️
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Everybody gangsta until Cigarette Daydreams comes on shuffle
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Imagine posting some shit like this and then having to go to school the next day lmao
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freshman orientation leaders at 8am
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X Æ A-12 popped outta grimes cut his own umbilical cord and walked over to Elon and said “for the last 9 months I’ve been all ears...now, let’s talk numbers ✍️✍️✍️”
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Deciding between a few Halloween costumes rn:
- dirty little whore
- dirty little slut
- daddy’s little slut
- daddy’s little whore
- Jim from the office
Lmk what you guys think below 👇👇
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This is really good. The war is officially over. Thank you.
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Stealing her phone while she’s asleep and muting “DaBaby” on twitter, hopefully I am not too late
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