Sam-Rae
@LoveSarae
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Following
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Multifaceted tech babe 👩🏾💻 // @FCMPod
Ldn ⇄ Essex
Joined March 2013
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I want to cryyyyy. I was on a zoom and I accidentally unmuted while on the phone saying “should I get a black cat and call it ‘lil nigga?’. The host said “hello? Is that a question?”. I ran out of the room sooo fast. Father God in heavennnnn.
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Mariah was just minding her business & now her kids have 30 siblings. Kmt.
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I’ll go weeks with no plans then suddenly I’m busy every weekend for 2 months straight.
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Certain friends of mine can never ever ever leave my life. I will move into the house next door if they try it.
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Your child is 'dead to you' because of tattoo but that uncle that molested your daughter is still invited to Christmas dinners. You hate to see it.
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One time I left concealer in a guys car. When he came to drop it, he went to his boot to pull out a collection of fallen lipglosses, bobby pins, lip liners, hair bands etc. That was a body per item plus added chest pain.
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Increasing the temperature bit by bit during your shower to see how much your body can take >>>
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One time a guy I was seeing was moving mad off with me. He didn’t have twitter but one day whilst I was trying to get to the bottom of it he said: “I’ve preed your Twitter everyday since I met you. One time you were crying on the phone to me but typing LOOOOOL to ppl on twitter”
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It’s literally impossible for women to snore. Snoring is caused by Adam’s apples. Hope this helps x
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IKEA will give you an Allen key & a book of hieroglyphics then tell you to fight for your life.
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One time I faked died in front of Micah to see what he would do and he said “oh no, mummy died”. Then SAT ON MY HEAD and continued playing on his iPad. I taught him how to dial 999 that day.
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Except taking bins out. That’s for the boys 🙏🏾
teach your kids that cleaning and cooking are basic life skills. not gender roles.
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Kanye referring to Kim’s sexual history as a negative influence on their daughters is very rich, considering he had 4 kids with her. He can no longer police her, so he’s using his kids instead.
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I think it should be illegal for companies to not have an available way of speaking to a human.
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Why did he say Spotify like that 🤣
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One AirPod user is watching me detangle my earphones like I’m a peasant.
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Reminds me of when someone said ‘Ghanaians cook like they’re trying to finish everything in the fridge before moving out of uni’.
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I just spoke to my brother and I didn’t know that this was the ACTUAL World Cup. I thought it was just a winter version like Love Island 🙂
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What’s even funnier is they were all neatly packed into a toiletries bag.
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Men’s groupchats:
Guy 1: “Did you cheat on her?”
Guy 2: “Yeah bro”
All the rest: “ahahaha” “sksksks” “I’m deadddd”
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I’m so scared to even look at the screen again. He went silent after his question. There was pure silence for about 10 seconds then he said “okay let’s continue”. I didn’t even look at the faces of everyone else. I was already gone with the wind.
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Whitney just needed to say “it’s giving dumped” and that would have been an excellent finish
#LoveIsland
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14 rounds.
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Periods are so dramatic when they're coming. Hurry up and arrive, attention seeker.
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I love when a man wears good perfume that lingers on you long after you’ve left them. Oud 😍😍😍
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I have now also burnt my food. I was doing too much. This is God’s way of telling me to FOCUS.
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Tbf she can be physically attracted to him but not have feelings. Isn’t this you mens bag.
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PUT YOUR HAIRLINE ON HOUSEPARTY I’LL GIVE YOU A THOUSAND DOLLARS.
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I’ve been fucking up on zoom recently! I’m really showing my age 😭😭🫠🫠
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I have to tweet to distract myself. I heard the question, looked down and the icon said ‘Mute’. My heart started doing sungba lajajaja sungba!!!
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Not wanting to date someone with a child is a very reasonable preference. Coming from someone with a child.
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Finding time to be linking 7 babes is not the flex that weirdo thinks it is.
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Men love an ‘I wAs GoNnA dO xYz FoR yOu’ after you’re done with them.
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I’m a sucker for big arms. I need to be able to look at your arms and instantly tell that you can carry me effortlessly.
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A buff black guy will always do better than buff black women in the villa because black men are fetishised. It's facts.
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If we’re being honest, she’s actually right. Boys clothes always have negative messages. ‘Little rascal’ ‘future heartbreaker’. You’ll clock this when you have kids.
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Did you see what I done?
Came in pregnant, left with my son 👀
Welcome Micah Adelani Boateng
Born 04/05/2017 @ 00:59 - 8lbs 1oz 👑💙
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He said sometimes he’d just sit there and watch my tweets come in one by one lmaooo. Whew.
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Can’t believe people still use Apple Music. Like genuinely shocked.
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When a guy is paying the bill and you don’t know where to look <<<<
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I’m creasinggggg. Micah got a hold of my mums phone and started messaging her prayer group...
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As long as it’s the American way and not the Nigerian way. Pls.
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Imagine being dressed like this and your man is wearing a sidebag.
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I don't like talking about things/communicating my feelings if I don't think it will change anything.
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When you have that discussion before putting on a film on Netflix.
“Are you gonna watch it because I actually wanna watch this film. If you know you’re not going to then let’s put something else on”.
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Nah leaving your baby crying all alone on the bedroom floor to shout on clubhouse is wild.
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Women are literally being killed for speaking out about their assaults but ‘wHy Do WoMeN AlWaYs WaIt FoR oThErS tO sPeAk BeFoRe TheY dO.. SeEmS FiShY/pLaNnEd’ c*nts still exist. She spoke & the police were informed, immediately, she was killed... immediately.
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The older I get the more I accept that there’s no shame in becoming/being a forgiving person. There’s more shame in holding unnecessary grudges, just make sure to set boundaries and stick to them.
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Turning off all your lights so you can pree domestics outside your window >>>>>>>
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How the hell did they colonise ANYWHERE.
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@Niitweeted
As a woman, I'm sure I've heard of many more of these cases than you, have so I stand by what I said.
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You amateurs. You were supposed to text your old tings 2 days ago saying ‘I was gonna wait until Christmas or NYE but I didn’t see the point in waiting if I wanna chat to you now’. Throw them off the scent.
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Why does everyone want Scott to get back with Catherine. She needs to hold that 😕
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I had a Bloody Mary the other day. All you need is oil and you can fry stew?
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I really pray Richard is found safe & well. God please do it for his family & friends 🙏🏾💕
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Poor Molly-Mae. I lost everything Micah & I own in December 2019 and let me tell you, it changes your whole life 😩 So many things can’t even be replaced. Items of sentimental value hurt the most. I’m yet to heal from it. It’s still sooooo painful 😪
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