get off my lon
@Lonmatthews1
Followers
402
Following
56K
Media
5
Statuses
15K
Joined July 2017
Is reposting like composting? I feel like they are similar.
7
9
22
I want to get a case of wine at Trader Joe’s but without judgment so now I’m making a work shirt from a fake Italian bistro so I can come in and be like, “We’a need more’a Wine at the bistro” 🤷♀️
5
3
33
Someone stole my identity and improved my credit score.
22
16
139
On my way to the airport! I’m not flying anywhere it’s just the only place a person can drink at 10am and not be perceived as a raging alcoholic.
2
11
51
My boss said good workers are hard to find I said I'll need a better hiding spot
0
1
5
It's been a dog eat dog day And I'm wearing boxer shorts from
chewy.com
Shop Chewy for the best pet supplies ranging from pet food, toys and treats to litter, aquariums, and pet supplements plus so much more! If you have a pet-or soon will-you've come to the right place....
0
0
2
@RawStory Disney is making a new movie about a trans whale and calling it, "Maybe Dick."
20
11
194
I hate shower sex I can never get the whole shampoo bottle up my ass
2
8
20
Half the nonsense you see on Twitter is just designed to enrage you and the other half is designed to engage you.
19
17
163
Cat with gang tattoo rescued from Mexican prison up for adoption https://t.co/bTkvUY0ELe via @MetroUK
metro.co.uk
A tattooed sphinx cat found wandering inside the Cereso 3 prison in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, is now well and up for adoption, authorities said on Tuesday. When found, the hairless feline showed at...
0
0
1