๐๐ฆ๐๐๐๐_๐พ๐ฆ๐ฃ๐
@SundaeDivine
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๐ผ๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ช๐ ๐๐'๐ค ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ค ๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ฅ๐ช ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ค.
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Gen Z is amazing. I asked a (paid) intern to bring me 50 blank pieces of copier paper and when she brought them in they were warm. Turns out that, rather than count them, she set the copier to 50 and printed blank sheets. Genius.
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Weโre very sorry to hear about Brett Kavanaugh's current troubles. We offer our thoughts and prayers for the entire Kavanaugh family during this difficult period. Now is not the right time to have a policy debate, so letโs not politicize the issue.
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If you're naked on the front porch and the neighbors can't see you, it's rural.
If you're naked on the front porch and the neighbors call the cops, it's suburban.
If you're naked on the front porch and the neighbors ignore you, it's urban.
If you're naked on the front porch andโฆ
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On the flight over to Ireland both pilots were women which sparked a debate amongst our group about whether using the term โcockpit,โ was really apropos. We decided to call it a โclitpit,โ making it hijack-proof since male hijackers would never be able to find it.
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Older woman ahead of me at the gas station. Her cc is declined. Clerk laughs at her when she tries again. She's obviously broke so I insert my cc and look straight at the clerk and say, "don't be such an asshole." I felt better about helping her than anything I've done lately.
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Every dog with Republican owners today.
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The Super Bowl ads about Jesus from a group calling itself, โHe Get Us,โ also donated $50 million to anti-LGBTQ hate groups. Itโs money from that $3 Billion donation made by that dead Hobby Lobby guy.
There's no hate like Christian love.
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Watching Ukraine defend itself is like having a front row seat in a class on democracy. Ukrainians are not fighting each other over fake issues like vaccines and CRT. They are fighting FOR each other so future generations will enjoy the freedoms that exist in a true democracy.
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"I'm very concerned about foreign rapists which is why I'm endorsing our own domestic rapist, Donald Trump."
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I would mate outside my species before I'd date a Republican.
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Donโt laugh at kids who still believe in Santa Claus - we have millions of adults who still believe Trump is president.
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Start naming mass shootings after politicians who take money from the NRA.
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During WWII, four brothers from the same Jewish family signed up to fight against the Nazis. Only one of the four brothers survived.
His grandson is the current President of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky.
Slรกva Ukrayรญni! ๐บ๐ฆ๐บ๐ฆ๐บ๐ฆ
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Nikki Haley saying 65 is too young to be receiving Social Security should try working in a factory for a day before she opens her big fat mouth.
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I donโt care what anyone at the Texas GOP convention says, the only difference between Jim Jones and Donald Trump is that Trump woulda charged for the Kool-Aid.
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Look who's in court today for Judge Engoron's verdict!
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Being pretty and faking smart just cost her client $83,000,000.
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Jon Stewart did it for the Ground Zero workers and you can be absolutely sure heโs going to come through for our veterans.
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The girl who Boebertโs son got pregnant is 14.
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Lauren Boebert entered politics a married mother of four and leaves a divorced grandmother with a son in jail. GOP values.
Lauren Boebert seemed like she didnโt even have any fight left in her tonight. She knows its over, now itโs just about trying to figure out what kinda fishing pole you need to make a podcast.
Thanks, you guys have been great!
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I donโt care what you say, the only difference between Jim Jones and Donald Trump is that Trump woulda charged for the Kool-Aid.
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Alina is technically correct - next week Judge Engoron will take another $370 Million from Trump.
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Friend in Austin was at a bar and saw this.
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MAGA says they're going to indict Biden but that Trump can't be indicted because he's a former president and they're gonna indict Hunter because he made $5 million when his father was VP but it's okay Ivanka made $640 million when her dad was president.
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Startling new images from NASA suggests Donald Trump may only be the 2nd biggest asshole in the universe.
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She tried to warn us Clarence Thomas was corrupt.
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Trump was investigated and rejected as an unfit person to build or manage the Star Casino in Sydney in 1987 on the grounds of having criminal connections to organized crime, specifically, the mafia. Face it, Trump has always been a crook.
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If SCOTUS grants Trump immunity for the crimes he committed as president, the first thing the newly-immunized Joe Biden should do is unilaterally add DC and PR as states, reshape the Supreme Court, abolish the GOP, and restore womenโs rights and voting rights.
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"Iโve never seen anything like it in a State of the Union speech โ they ran at him like a pack of lemmings and, with a wink and a grin, he politely directed them to the cliff."
- Rex Huppke
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Anytime I hate my job I just remember that someone out there is Marjorie Taylor Greene's gynecologist.
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Has anyone else seen their feeds suddenly serving up right wingers even though you donโt follow them? I mean a TON of right wingers?
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This may seem like a minor issue, but our military should stop airing Fox on TVs in mess halls and common areas. Our military supports our Constitution, but Fox pushes them in the opposite direction. We wouldn't allow other anti-American propaganda to be broadcast to our troops.
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Wordle is releasing a two letter version so Trump supporters can play too.
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Muslims donโt recognize Jews as God's chosen people, Jews donโt recognize Jesus as the Messiah, Protestants donโt recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world, and Evangelicals donโt recognize each other at Hooters.
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Rural America, you didn't get left behind - you chose not to keep up. Your resentment toward politicians you don't like or people who look different from you is nothing but scapegoating. Turn off Fox News and join the rest of us in electing people who'll make your life better.
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Rural America, you didn't get left behind - you've chosen not to keep up. Your resentment toward politicians you donโt like or people who look different from you is nothing but scapegoating. Turn off Fox News and join the rest of us in electing people who'll help you succeed.
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Iโve been a Democrat my entire life and still donโt know any Communists.
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Putin's nervous because Biden's economic sanctions against Russia are so severe that they may have to lay off several Republicans.
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๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ Jake blocked me.
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Iโll respect Marjorie Taylor Greeneโs privacy surrounding her husband filing for divorce from her about as much as she respects the privacy of a womanโs deeply personal medical and reproductive choices.
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I havenโt seen Conservatives this angry since a black man was president.
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The difference between CNN and the Titanic is the Titanic had all itโs anchors when it sank.
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MAGA is hopping mad about Biden calling out white supremacists. I'm white and I don't think it's bad because I'm not a white supremacist. If they feel personally attacked because Biden denounced white supremacy, they might want to think about why they feel that way.
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Matt Gaetz is going down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
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Whaddya know? A president that pays taxes AND publishes them.
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You know what erodes the public trust of the Supreme Court? Justices who lie under oath just so they can impose their own religious views upon the rest of the country.
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Guess who still has a Twitter account?
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My boyfriend and I made a list of people we could have sex with if we ever got the chance. He chose Margot Robbie, Charlize Theron and Scarlett Johansson. I chose my daughter's biology teacher, the barista at Starbucks, and his younger bother.
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I'm a better Christian than any Trump supporter & I'm an atheist.
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Planned Parenthood is the nation's largest provider of birth control, meaning they are literally doing more than anyone else to prevent abortions.
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Newt Gingrich: Resigned in shame.
Dennis Hastert: Child molester.
John Boehner: Chased out by Freedom Caucus.
Paul Ryan: Quit in disgust.
Kevin McCarthy: Forced out by Freedom Caucus.
American politics isnโt broken, just the GOP.
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Rural America, you didn't get left behind - you chose not to keep up. Your resentment toward politicians you don't like or people who look different from you is nothing but scapegoating. Turn off Fox and join us in electing people who'll make your life better.
#WhiteRuralRage
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When Trump dies and is buried I hope his epithet reads, "Here Lies Donald Trump For The Very Last Time."
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I'd like everyone to stop whatever they're doing and just simply appreciate the person who took this picture of Mitch.
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Matt Gaetz being asked the only question that matters. ๐๐๐๐
#MattGaetzIsTriggered
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[bedtime prayer]
"Dear Lord, you've taken my favorite comedian, Bob Saget, my favorite actor, Ray Liotta, and my favorite singer, Naomi Judd. I just wanted to let you know my favorite politician is Donald Trump."
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When Trump dies, he will not lay in state at the Capitol. His outcast family will have a wake for him at Mar-a-Lago, theyโll bury him on a golf course, and heโll go down in history as one of the greatest stains on our nation.
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Mike Johnson is not the Johnson who spent July 4 in Moscow, that was Senator Ron Johnson. If you're having trouble keeping your Johnsons straight Lauren Boebert will be happy to lend a hand.
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Alex Jones plot twist; the texts includes โintimate textsโ with Roger Stone. If this turns out to be a Stone bones Jones story it may break the internet.
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BREAKING: Bible salesman fails to delay porn star hush money trial
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The Supreme Court took 72 hours to hand the election to Bush in 2000. Now itโs โWeโll hear the arguments in April and let you know around June.โ Thanks to people who couldnโt bring themselves to vote for Clinton, this court will be a cancer on the country for decades to come.
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Free Speech Absolutist Elon Musk suspended
@theliamnissan
for saying mean things about him.
Please use
#SissySpaceX
or
#FreeLiamNissan
in your tweets today.
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Madisonโs back on the market, ladies, so swipe Alt+Reich!
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Tucker Carlsonโs head is so far up Putinโs ass he can see Sarah Palinโs front porch.
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I'm a Democrat, a gun owner, and I don't want guns in the hands of people who can't pass a minimal check.
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@CarterCenter
@BeschlossDC
As a young lieutenant, Jimmy Carter saved a nuclear reactor in Canada by exposing himself to radiation in order to repair a damaged fuel rod. He peed radioactive urine for months after.
Fair winds & following seas, President Carter.
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The Carters turned over their peanut farm to a blind trust when Jimmy became president while Jared and Ivanka made $640 Million working in the White House.
Rosalynn lived a life of dignity, integrity and public service. ๐
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If you're 60, 69.1% of all job growth since your birth occurred under Democratic administrations.
If you're 45, that number is 74.7%.
If you're under 30, the number is 100%.
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Rural America is vanishing because it has voted against its economic interests for decades in order to pursue a backward social agenda. It voted itself out of the middle class, and now wants to blame others.
#WhiteRuralRage
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So the Secret Service, working for Trump, was gonna take Pence away from the Capitol so he couldnโt certify the election and then the Secret Service deleted all the texts for January 6?
Am I all caught up?
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Sheโs at it again ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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"Putin has singlehandedly taken Russia's military from the 2nd most powerful in the world to the 2nd most powerful in Ukraine."
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My Uber driver wonโt shut up about politics.
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Lines are already beginning to form in New York for Trump's perp walk.
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"If it weren't for cancer, I'd say I've had the perfect life. But if it weren't for cancer, would I even realize this?'
One year cancer-free today. ๐๐๐
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Steve Bannon: "I will testify but I have a condition."
Liz Cheney: "Mr. Bannon, your syphilis isn't our concern."
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I am personally offering to pee on any Republican looking for an alternative cure for Covid.
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[bedtime prayer]
"Dear Lord, you've taken my favorite comedian, Bob Saget, my favorite actor, Ray Liotta, and my favorite singer, Naomi Judd. I just wanted to let you know my favorite Supreme Court Justice is Clarence Thomas."
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Pretty sure this was the tweet that got me suspended. ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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Twitter was invented for tweets like this.
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The correct pronouns for the Russian Army are was/were. ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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Johns Hopkins says this girl is cancer-free two years!
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Donald Trump called California Psychics to ask whether he'd win the election. The psychic said she saw a huge parade with millions of happy Americans waving flags. When Trump asked if he looked good on TV the psychic replied, "I don't know the casket was closed."
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Am I the only one who didnโt know that Barron is fluent in Slovenian and he and Melania speak it in front of Donald? What do you think theyโre saying?
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Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit, the Texas senator leading the assault on drag queens just got caught seducing underage girls.
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Six years of our lives and finally. ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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Three year cancer screening came back clear ๐ช๐ช๐ช
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Why is Mike Johnson so obsessed with homosexuality?
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Le tits now. ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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Marjorie Taylor Greene single-handedly negotiated away any cuts to Social Security and Medicare tonight. ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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Jordan and Comer say Hunter Biden wasn't qualified to be on Burisma's board because he isn't an energy expert so can someone please tell me why Nikki Haley was on Boeing's board?
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Efforts are underway by Jim Comer and the GOP to contact the whistleblower. โ ๏ธ
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Earlier this week I had to be taken by ambulance to an Irish ER to treat a broken rib. Blood tests, x-rays, treatment (bandaging mostly), etc., by a highly professional medical staff in a good hospital. Cost to me? Nothing, except for the taxi back to the hotel. Thanks, Ireland!
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