Consumer spending just posted a rare decline, something we haven’t seen outside of major crises. Trump will fire Bloomberg.

I hate Donald Trump and I’m tired of pretending I don’t.

I asked for something bold at Starbucks and the barista handed me my drink with a note that said, ‘You peaked in 2020.”.

Xenomorph XX121 just kills you. Trump makes it awkward first.

I’m not an expert but it seems as though instead of studying autocratic regimes like that of Orban of Hungary, Republicans should study other minority parties operating in democracies to see how they effectively participate in government without ripping their nations apart.

Where’s Alex Acosta these days? He’s the reason rich guys sleep easy in jail cells with throw pillows.

Wolf Blitzer screams “pubic hair” so loudly, CNN’s chyron auto-corrects to “breaking news.”

Republicans: “We got her!” Democrats: “You can keep her!” Independents: googling why the internet is mad again.

And just like that, the tapes were gone, the files sealed, and Trump blamed everything on Democrats,

For this year’s Heritage Foundation Halloween party im going as a misunderstood socialite caught in a web of globalist lies.

Before Reagan, trickle-down economics was called the Horse & Sparrow Theory - if you feed the horse enough oats, the sparrows can then eat the stale oats with a side of manure. Bon appétit!.

If you survived Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell then watched Trump become president, you basically survived the apocalypse twice.

This is a lie. The numbers for September and October of 2024 were actually revised upwards in November.

The new council slogan: “Run, kids. Faster.”

Every meal for me is a struggle between, "I want to look good naked," and, "Go ahead, treat yourself.".

I prefer weighing myself when I'm nude so if that bothers you please find yourself another Walgreens.

Why hit the gym to relieve stress when you can just hit the people who cause the stress and avoid the gym altogether?.