Hey y’all, my album is available for presale today! Give this link a lil click. https://t.co/GDtRUGSUWX

When white people are protesting outside of a strip mall you know we’re in deep shit.

SOS my Mom is telling our waitress how much I weighed at birth.

I keep trying to be poly but no one will let me join.

Always baffled by people who dump someone and go, “I just wanna see what else is out there”. Okay have fun, Ferdinand Magellan.

I’m sorry but, since we’re still using the word straight man, can we please start calling character actors wacky lesbians.

I’m at that age where I’m writing angry Instagram messages to the mayor. 🙄

In honour of Pride Month, here are some hilarious queer comedians that you should follow @jpbrammer @TigNotaro @LBols @TheBowieCat @robintran04 @ChloePetts @guybranum @samlymatters @cosmicphenom Drop your faves that I missed in the comments!

Pride at 35 is telling everyone they “just missed you” everywhere and doing nothing. 🌈 ✌🏼

THIS WEEK🥊 It's jam-packed with great shows, including @realjeffreyross, @LBols, #BigWigBrunch & more!! Tickets & showtimes 🎟️👉 https://t.co/YXUwzOPvUe

The thing about @LBols is that when she kills, it's always consensual 🎤🔥 Philly favorite Lindsay Boling is taking the stage at Punch Line March 19 💚🦅 Get tickets now while you can 🎟️🔗 https://t.co/xJ8B0PB3Ul

Crazy how many millennials have adopted young turkeys for children.

My favorite part about the #WorldCup is when The People’s Court comes on afterwards and plays at full volume in the bar.

I have the Sunday scaries for winter.

OK, is there any way we can get @LBols a gig in my home country...??? She's SO funny, & we are so nice in Canada....It would be amazing if we could get that amazing lesbian (sorry, I went formal there, Lindsay!😀) princess to make us Canucs laugh in the Great White North!! 😃😃

I’ve been on vacation, has anyone made a Charles in Charge joke yet?

I’ve just started carrying tampons in my back pocket like cigs. #tomboyfemmeprobs

In honour of Pride Month, here are some hilarious queer comedians that you should follow @jpbrammer @TigNotaro @LBols @TheBowieCat @robintran04 @ChloePetts @guybranum @samlymatters @cosmicphenom Drop your faves that I missed in the comments!

This Friday is going to be 🔥! Come join us at @HalyardsBar at 830! @AshleyHammm @geoffreyatm @GabeMollica @courtmaginnis @LBols @wendysteinerlol @BeeGeiran And Mike Rowland!

Always that weird moment at the beach where I set up my area and am like “Okay, time to reveal my body!”