Koome Gitobu
@KoomeGitobu
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We sell used Accents. [Warranty not included]
Nairobi,KENYA
Joined April 2010
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Anyway, here’s me turning a groom getting ready for his wedding into a
@GQMagazine
inspired muse.
RT someone with the decision-making power to hire a photographer for their event may see this on your TL 😁
🕺🏾 - Don Adero
📸 - Me
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Cant try this in KE. Utapata contractor alikula pesa akanunua glass kwa Wa Simon.
24 floors above Nairobi Skyline, would you walk on this glass platform?
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Just sitting here watching the person who constantly terrorized & brutally bullied me the entire time we worked together talk about accountability.
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My Mom is making custom sanitary masks. Various sizes. 250 for one, 200 for bulk orders. DM if interested.
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Lakini bloggers si angalau you use better photos of me watu wajue luku nilianza kupiga eventually? 😅
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The new China Square at Waterfront had a trolley dash competition for kids: run around the store and fill your trolley, if you’re back in 2min you keep everything. Someone’s child grabbed a microwave, a couple of blenders & a coffee maker.
There was no round 2. 😂😂😂
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And for those wondering, yes I eventually got some decent clothes. 😂😂😂
I shoot content now (shameless plug) so if you’re looking to hire a photo/videographer with over 8yrs experience, my DMs are very much open. 😎
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Anyway mkiendelea kunicheka si mnipee works. I shoot amazing content. RT my next client could be on your (hopefully non-toxic) TL.
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This woman. Would constantly call the entire office to a stop to make fun of my clothes when I didn’t have enough money to buy the trendy shit she & her friends thought only those deserving to be in their presence to wear.
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So. You can say whatever you want about that woman. You can even come and make more jokes about me. But you will never convince me that there is a person in this our media/entertainment industry with a heart Blacker than Miss Mandii.
✌🏽
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Apologies where you refer to yourself in the third person. <<<<<
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This woman. Made up such hurtful nicknames for me behind my back. And laugh in my face because I couldn’t afford to order fancy food for lunch so I would cook my own food and carry.
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First time he’s ever had his hair properly blow-dried. Like I knew his hair was long, but not this long. 😳
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This woman. Felt because I didn’t have an accent as well-polished as hers I therefore was not deserving to be a radio presenter like her. And would happily remind me whenever I crossed her (which only happened when I breathed near her)
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And I haven’t even said anything about how she constantly actively sabotaged my work and my job.
But anyway.
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And to be very clear: we have worked in the same industry since then. We have crossed paths many a time since. So where is this “accountability” she speaks of so woke-ly?
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@RamzZy_
This woman traumatized me so badly I lost the love I had for being on radio. It took years to get over what she and her boss/bff put me thru at 1FM.
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While the family was away, I decided to do a surpise makeover for Tau’s bedroom.
Here’s how it looked before:
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Nyama Mama: Hey guys, today’s special is hand-ground organic maize dumplings with a side of-
“Inaitwa Ugali!”
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I swear Village Market saw Two Rivers come up & was like:
“Hold my beer”.
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Amepose ni kama anasmamia kiti mahali. “Tau For MCA” 😂😂😂
Mtampea kura?
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This is honestly just my personal take. But if you PAY a photographer to take professional photos of you, why would they still put their logo/watermark on your photos?
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Ok. So does anyone need a baby model for their shoots? I’m serious. RT our casting agent could be on your TL. ☺️
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Uber finally removing trip cancellation fees. Sasa tupambane na dere vichwa ngumu vizuri.
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I can’t be the only one struggling with Twitter videos. They are *always* buffering. On data. On wifi. Plugged into The Matrix. Doesn’t matter.
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@carlmwania
@JILLKUI
I’m talking about Miss Mandii saying she hates people who hurt others and are not accountable for their actions yet she traumatized me and has never accounted for hers. I couldn’t be more clearer…
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Stima hupotea the first thing we all rush to do is check Kenya Power to see if your area is listed for “Scheduled Maintenance” 😂
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DJs. I hope you all spent this time wisely, researching new music etc. Because clubs cannot open up just to play Iron Lion Zion and make guys dance in a congo line.
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Finally off to school! I had really debated whether to enroll Tau this term. Anyway, better late than never. 😁
#FirstDayOfSchoolPortraits
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How do you go from 27 years of marriage back to “what’s your favorite color?” 😭😭😭
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Nothing worse than the false sense of security that top layer of porridge that’s cooled gives you. You go in for a deep sip, and suddenly your life is flashing before your eyes.
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Huku ata Beyonce anaeza peana opinion ya kuimba aambiwe anyamaze. 😂😂😂
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At the risk of being called a hater, what has this post (“ad”) taught me about Faras? Is it a care hire company? Is it a matchmaking site? Is it a funeral service?
If your response to this is “you can find this information elsewhere” then what is the point of your influencing?
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The debate is senseless to you because your senses are too dull to comprehend. If I had to dumb this down any further I’d need crayons and colored manila paper.
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And because I didn’t want him sleeping in total darkness, or have a lamp on the side, here’s how it looks with lights off:
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*when you break a plate
MOM: Break all of them!!
*when Mom Breaks a plate in the kitchen
MOM: Who left this plate here?!
#GrowingUpAfrican
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In case you ever wondered where the phrase “homesick” came from.
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You’re very welcome. Although streets are saying these two should be added to lineup.
A huge thank you to the guy that posted this on Twitter a few days ago, I’ve forgotten your handle, niliona tu tweet kwa FYP 😭 It’s actually so good on everything!
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Ah, Nairobi Burger Week.
AKA Another time for eateries to put the absolute bare minimum into meat between two buns.
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I’m tired of keeping this to myself.
Was there research that came out discouraging GenZ from using deo? Unapatana na watu wamekula luku ajab lakini wakipita sense of smell inapigwa nyongolo.
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As requested by
@RookieKE
, here’s a thread on reasonably-priced gifts you can get a man:
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Guys. My Mom makes custom decorations & centre pieces. Feel free to inbox for prices. RT, her next client may be on your TL. 😊
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What I feel sad for is Ms Julianna Cherera, a qualified professional with a bright career ahead of her, allowed herself to be used in such a low manner.
Was it worth it?
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If my child broke my favorite cup, best believe I’m not coming here to subtweet him like we’re agency bois working in adjacent cubicles.
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If you truly, honestly call yourself a genuine friend to DJ Bash, please look for him, sit with him, and help him get the help he needs to get thru all this.
We can’t talk about men’s mental health & watch a man spiral and implode like this. Bash needs help.
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In Kigali all bodabodas are under specific groups (I could only identify 2 or 3). Each group wears specific colors. Red helmet, red reflector. Boda plate number & rider’s reg number clearly printed on both.
That could be one way to regulate local riders.
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@thedickofjesus
@005e5n
Cleaners watching him pour alcohol into the very carpets they need to clean once he leaves.
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KENYANS : Explain this process to me like I’m a 5 year old.
MAHAT SOMANE: Say less!!
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So we’ve been looking everywhere for Bae’s phone for the past 30min. Every room. Under every chair, nook & cranny. Because this child likes hiding things.
My Mom casually looks over the balcony. And there it is.
Tau threw the phone. Over the balcony.
We live on the 7th floor.
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No one:
South C Makangas coming for you all the way at Archives:
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Gatekeepers escorting
@lavenderikamar
out of the Fenty launch after she comes back from the bathroom in her third look.
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This is honestly very reckless. Instead of outing the therapist & spouse who are violating her patients’ confidentiality, you chose to protect the abusers and blame the victims. Some of us took YEARS of suffering before we got the courage to seek professional help.
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And this is why I’m so dead serious.
The last time I was here,they said we couldn't step on the glass since it had a crack
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Stop👏🏽using👏🏽the👏🏽non-drinkers’👏🏽soda/juice👏🏽to👏🏽chase/mix👏🏽your👏🏽alcohol!!
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They finally agreed to a round 2. But they said its now only 4-6yr olds, and they only have 60sec in the toy section. 😂😂😂
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I forgot someone’s child brought back a pack of unicorn hair bands. Just that. In the entire store. The mother wanted to eat her alive!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
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@goaldigger_ke
@Mollage_
Fresh twit-outs. Its the easiest thing coz You don’t need to blow dry their hair
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.
@Flourrgirl
made the most amazing cake for my son’s 4th birthday. Words can’t express how grateful I am to this person for knocking this assignment right out the park. I’m in awe.
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@hanan_elkathiri
Hers went far beyond just bullying. It was so personal, like she was determined to see me quit or break down.
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@KimWellaMusic
@jwaweruh
Based on how she once handled an almost-client back when we worked together, not surprised.
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Waited for my girlfriend back in KU outside her house on her birthday with a custom gift, flowers & cake. She showed up and introduced me to her boyfriend as her classmate.
Mnaendanga ku surprise your women.
Hahahahah
It will end in tears
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The reason why Kenyans fail at filming RomComs is because there’s nothing funny about dating in Kanairo. 😂😂😂
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Anyway, since I don’t have a TikTok I’ll just drop this video here.
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Children always come up with new ways to make us panic and look like crazy people.
Exhibit A:
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😂😂😂😂😂
Koome alifungua mkebe ya Ice cream akatoa ngwashe mandi akashanga huyu ni mgani leo
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And to those saying “but she’s apologized why won’t guys move on”. You dont issue such a non-apology like that but these are the things you are intentionally retweeting on onto your timeline. This is you showing people what you *really* think.
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Someone’s done a “House Mini Tour” vlog & has spent the whole 17 minutes…
seated on the sofa talking. 🤦🏽♂️
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@Nyokaffiii
@beth_kasinga
Mimi niko hapo na bonge la camera capturing every moment. Front row.
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What I learned from Rama’s interview is that them two hosts need to sit down with a counselor because they still have a lot of shit they need to figure out.
They should have named that episode “Is Delulu The Solulu?” because that is all them two gave us.
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Angalau mgeita
@lavenderikamar
she would have shut shit down. Apige wardrobe/hair change mbili tatu ivi. That babe is the definition of 3-in-1.
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Unaorder burger & fries inafika kama smoothie vile imerushwa rushwa. Unauliza “I thought I ordered a salad too?” Unaambiwa “I had to stop to fuel my ride.”
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Aki can we form a team to negotiate for the release of Mejja from Kansoul. He needs to go back to making music like this, not slapping light bulbs so they swing.
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@EstherKazungu
Me in my child’s ear explaining why we need the air fryer more than the water gun. 😂😂😂
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Nangoja tuambiwe vile kuni ilikuwa inatoshana kibiriti.
Alexa, play Same Script Different Cast.
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Ata wakijaribu kurig, tunajua ni nani aliitwa wa kwanza!
🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
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My takeaway from this: Ladies don’t ever accept anything from Jalango. Be it a drink, or even a lift, because it definitely has strings attached to it.
Jalango & DJ Eazy B same WhatsApp Group. (They probably already are)
This is what Jalango has said on IG.... Reckless!!!.....
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@EventsAvenueKe
I think I’ve made it clear that they are JUST masks, to help cover your mouth to stop you from touching your face. I haven’t made any medical/professional claims.
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Kenny, I was standing next to you when YOU grabbed a girl’s bum during the road shows & I called you out on it. So I can understand why you want to defend Nick.
@KoomeGitobu
@Aimeemuthoni
@SirAlexas
@Tusk8rman
@Mish_BossLady
At what point did this happen? I was with Nick most of the time and I didn't witness this. Anyone else from our team who witnessed it? These are grave accusations and I am not sure who between you I should believe
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