https://t.co/T4ZYzGeVH5

darkfall. lez still out to play. knock at door. no answer. flicker from tv in upstairs bedroom. not on. no one ignores me. get ladder out van. lean em against house. knock on bedroom window. i stare. they jump from bed. draw the curtains. am still here. keep knockin. want a treat

🔔 | Fonejacker is returning to Channel 4 tonight for one time only https://t.co/l23MVaXEHI

Congratulations @sergio_regui 👏 Also well done on your move to Atletico.

heard neighbours shaggin last night. screaming an head board banging for hours. turns out was elderly mum fell off bed cracked her head. was hitting the wall with her walkin stick for help. feel guilty about the wank now. cheers

#TommyFumbles $2K to someone who retweets this.

Hoping the Jubilee doesn’t disrupt bin day.

Is there even anything half decent to watch on @AppleTV?

We live in a world where Raphaël Varane who has won 4 Champions Leagues, 4 FIFA Club World Cups, 3 La Liga’s, 3 UEFA Super Cup’s, 3 Spanish Cups and a World Cup costs £43m and Brighton’s Ben White who won the EFL Championship player of the month for August 2019 costs £50 million.

Living rent free in Rebecca lissers head and you better believe I’m absolutely fucking loving it

*Spine-tingling* #OnThisDay last year... #MUFC

What is this ? These clowns are coming across really fake and desperate #BumSquad

Imagine trying to deal with Tyson Fury at a corner! He gets in the mix at Stamford Bridge 😂 Watch Chelsea vs. Arsenal followed by #FightNight Windsor Park on Saturday night, exclusively on BT Sport.

HEYUP LAD @JackGregory1990

When @Tyson_Fury destroyed David Price and Tony Bellew live on Channel 5! 😂 #GayLover