John Fugelsang
@JohnFugelsang
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comedian, actor, broadcaster & recovering cynic * SiriusXM #127 M-F * - Our podcast is daily on stitcher, Google, & https://t.co/qLUPII4L3V
Joined April 2009
These are the two tweets from famous people that have meant the most to me.
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Rubio sank so far into that couch I was afraid JD Vance might fuck him.
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Did you guys hear about Kamala Harris pretending to be a color she's not?
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Um, they’re not even ashamed of the Confederacy yet.
Republicans should feel deeply ashamed of what they’ve enabled.
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Hey Putin - give us back Brittney Griner and we'll give you back Trump.
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“I used to hang out with him. He’s a crazy motherfucker. Limited mentally – a megalomaniac, narcissistic. I can’t stand him.”. - Quincy Jones, on Donald Trump, in 2018.
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This is what they call a "teaser trailer".
Measles outbreak erupts in one of Texas’ least vaccinated counties
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Remember, they didn't cut Matt Gaetz loose because he paid a 17-year-old for sex. They cut him loose because too much evidence was coming out proving he'd paid a 17-year-old for sex.
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As A Christian, I remind you that Jesus was a gun-loving nationalist who opposed abortion, immigration, labor unions, gay rights & Communists. Oh wait; did I say Jesus?. Sorry, I meant Hitler. Jesus did none of that. That was all Hitler’s agenda.
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The new Pope isn't anti-MAGA. MAGA is anti-Jesus. (If this angers you, please cite one actual commandment of Christ that Trump fights for. Chapter & verse. Just one.).
THIS IS THE NEW POPE!. His name is Robert Prevost. He’s the first American Pope. He is anti-Trump, anti-MAGA, pro-open Borders, and a total Marxist like Pope Francis. Catholics don’t have anything good to look forward to. Just another Marxist puppet in the Vatican.
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JD Vance is a fusion of every kid that vanished on the Wonka Factory tour.
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If Kid Rock really does run for the US Senate I promise I will run against him. After changing my name to "Kid Paper.".
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If 5 billionaires can lose $210 billion .and not even feel it.they can afford to be taxed more.and they still won't feel it.
BREAKING: Elon Musk of Tesla, $TSLA, Jeff Bezos of Amazon, $AMZN, Sergey Brin of Google, $GOOGL, Mark Zuckerberg of $META have lost a total of $210 billion since Trump's inauguration, per Bloomberg.
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Things Fox News has never cared about until a homeless person burned down their tree:.1. Homelessness.2. Trees.
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South Dakota currently enjoying 210k gallons of No Downside
So sad that Obama rejected Keystone Pipeline. Thousands of jobs, good for the environment, no downside!.
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For I was a stranger & you tear-gassed me.I asked for asylum & you stole my children.I fled violence in my country from your drug war & you called me 'illegal'. But maybe.the next time evangelicals vote.they'll read the Gospels 1st .instead of electing .fucking Caligula.Amen.
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"I oppose abortion in all cases, unless it's to save the political life of the father".
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I'm old enough to remember Trump doing this - quite publicly - to his first wife.
Melania and Barron are now watching Trump flaunt an affair on national tv.
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I refuse to joke about Vanessa Trump bc it's NEVER funny when a couple files for an uncontested quick divorce, one where assets can be swiftly transferred, on the same day an independent special counsel subpoenas their family business. People, this could happen to you someday.
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Wear your badge proudly today, Governor. You fought hard for 14 year olds to easily get their hands on guns and shoot up Georgia schools. Take a bow, man. I bet the NRA pours $ into your coffers. #guncontrol.
I’ll wear this “F” as a badge of honor. Our 2nd Amendment is sacred, and I’ll never back down from defending Georgians’ constitutional rights.
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I just received a 4-day suspension from the Turner Classic Movies Facebook page bc someone asked "Who's the greatest horror movie actor of all time" and I merely typed "Melania Trump.".
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FOX just fired Diamond & Silk for promoting disinformation about Covid-19. Because Diamond and Silk are held to a higher standard than, y'know, America's president.
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As a Christian, I remind you that.Jesus was a gun loving nationalist.who opposed .abortion, .liberals,.immigration, .labor unions .and gay rights.Oh wait, did I say Jesus?. Sorry, I meant Hitler. Jesus did none of that. That was all part of Hitler’s agenda.
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The people who preached herd immunity in 2020.are now the reason we won't reach herd immunity in 2021.
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America's Racists: Always booing at demonstrations against racism, never booing at actual racism.
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Sean Hannity reminds you:.Michael Cohen wasn't his lawyer.But he still expects attorney-client privilege. And he has nothing to hide.But he ordered MC not to reveal him. And He defended MC all week.But now MC's a liar. And that's why Hillary Clinton must be stopped.
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Ted Nugent called Hillary Clinton the exact same word and you invited him to the Oval Office, you corrosive hypocritical clot of congealed creamsicle spray-tan goo.
Why aren’t they firing no talent Samantha Bee for the horrible language used on her low ratings show? A total double standard but that’s O.K., we are Winning, and will be doing so for a long time to come!.
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Thoughts & prayers to Rudy Giuliani, .who visited Staten Island today.and had his privacy and body autonomy .challenged by a man.
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Then you have to stone Donald Trump to death for adultery, as commanded in Leviticus 20:10. I’ll let the Secret Service know you’re coming.
@JohnFugelsang @warofthesaints @kurtzjd We follow the ENTIRE Bible. YOU are the one that cherry picks what he likes and discards what he doesn’t. 👍.
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Donald Trump's lawyer Rudy Giuliani is on TV saying we can't trust Donald Trump's other lawyer because Donald Trump hires terrible liars to be his lawyers.
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"All Lives Matter" is not a movement. It's a taunt. And if America really believed all lives mattered, we wouldn't need a Black Lives Matter movement.
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The Bible book you’re citing to justify anti-LGBTQ prejudice - Leviticus - also demands the death penalty for adulterers, dear precious Jacob. Since you’re not trying to stone Donald Trump to death, it’s clear you’re weaponizing a book *you yourself don’t believe in* against.
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(1). Here's a thread for anyone who's been conned into believing Donald Trump cares about the US military or our troops. -Faked a disability 5 times to avoid a war he didn't oppose.-5 non-rich guys went to Vietnam in his place.-Tried to kick homeless vets off 5th Ave.
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Well, "Pastor".Matthew 22:37-40 .Mark 12:30-31 .Luke 10:27 .Luke 10:25-37 .Matthew 5:43-44 .Luke 6:27-28 .Matthew 7:1-2 .John 8:7 .John 13:34-35 . and He commands you treat LGBT ppl as you'd treat Him in Matthew 25. Let me guess - you cling to Leviticus to justify.
@JohnFugelsang Show me where Jesus says, “Love LGBTQ people.” I’ll wait.
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Hi, I'm Larry Kudlow. I once had a 100k-per-month coke habit & a reality TV star picked me to manage your economy.
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I like when people who told me to respect the Confederate Flag last month scream about respecting the US Flag this month. #TakeTheKnee.
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Fake billionaire with fake tan, fake hair & fake teeth,who ripped off Americans with a fake online U & spread fake racist smear about a fake birth certificate to a fake news channel of fake blondes & this week tweets fake poll #'s to fake bot followers decries fake stuff.
I just cannot state strongly enough how totally dishonest much of the Media is. Truth doesn’t matter to them, they only have their hatred & agenda. This includes fake books, which come out about me all the time, always anonymous sources, and are pure fiction. Enemy of the People!.
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If Kid Rock really does run for the US Senate I promise I will run against him - after changing my name . to Kid Paper.
Taylor Swift wants to be a democrat because she wants to be in movies….period. And it looks like she will suck the door knob off Hollyweird to get there. Oldest move in the book. Good luck girl. -Kid Rock.
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Welcome to America, where "Democracy"means 51 senators beats 81 million voters.
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Ken Starr went from impeaching a president for fellatio to performing fellatio on an impeached president.
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Because they got fined 3/4 of a billion $ for spreading lies to help steal the last election?.
Why didn’t she just accept the Fox News proposed debate this month?.
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If you're just tuning in, Louie Gohmert just attacked Peter Strzok for cheating on his wife, in the context of defending Donald Trump. Somewhere Irony is huffing gasoline fumes out of a brown paper bag.
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Just to be super clear, those millions and millions of $ for Trump were bribes, not donations.
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No, the poor guy behind him took a bullet. Trump required no stitches and golfed without a bandage the next day. Then he wore a giant maxi-pad prop at the RNC, to the homoerotic delight of his obedient amoral supplicants.
Donald Trump is the only candidate in the race who took a bullet for America.
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-Trump bombed Syria. -Trump also bombed Yemen. -Trump also bombed Somalia. -Trump dropped the "mother of all bombs" on Afghanistan and bragged about it. -Under Biden-Harris, fewer soldiers have died in combat than in any administration since Jimmy Carter. -Trump assassinated a.
@JohnFugelsang @VKerpens @Jerry__Grey No new wars under Trump. Say what you want about how Covid was handled, did Trump send patients with Covid back to the nursing homes in New York or was that Cuomo?.
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I can’t believe they made a Lord of the Rings prequel and didn’t call it “Better Call Sauron.” . #RingsOfPower.
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Here's your guy, Evangelicals.
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Hey Geraldo - we already have a "Trump Vaccine.". It's called voting.
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Please cite one actual teaching of Jesus that Trump, or the MAGA movement, have fought for legislatively. One actual commandment of Jesus that guided your vote for Trump. Chapter & verse, please. Just one. #AskATrumpDefender #100.
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Rand Paul.runs to Biden .for federal assistance .faster than Ayn Rand .ran to her mailbox .for Social Security checks.
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Because “Obama divided us by race” always sounds better than “Obama really upset all the racists.”.
Obama, "There is not a white America, Black America, Asian America, there is only Americans." Then he was elected and divided everyone by the color of their skin and ideology. If you don't know this, you're not paying attention.
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Neither Clinton nor Trump are implicated in the Epstein indictment but-. If Clinton was found to have abused girls w/Epstein, his base would reject him. If Trump, shown here, was found to have abused girls w/Epstein, his base would reject the findings.
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We've waited 20 years to see a Cheney punished for lying and instead we get a Cheney punished for not lying.
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Jeff Flake, more upset at what a former president says than what a current president does.
This is an awful thing for one American President to say about another. Argue that he shouldn't be reelected, sure, but don't say that he wasn't legitimately elected.
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The only people who believe Trump's a Christian are the one who believed Obama was a Muslim.
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5 years ago today, they deleted White House website pages for civil rights, climate change, and LGBTQ. On Day 1 they did this.
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Somewhere in America, Donald Trump's 4th wife just finished her math homework.
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If you're scared of "athletes pretending to be women" wait'll you hear about Republicans pretending to be Christian!.
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I support the removal of dead racist Democrat statues. I also support the removal of live racist Republican politicians.
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I was sick & you voted to gut my healthcare; I was an immigrant & you rejected your own reform bill; I was poor & you cut taxes for rich ppl.
"For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me"; Matthew 25:35.
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Today is the 100 year anniversary of Franklin Roosevelt being stricken with Polio. The US has been polio free since 1979. Because of. well, you know.
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“Obama divided our country” sounds better than “Obama really upset all the racists.”.
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1) That's BHO weeping for Newtown kids.2) Your pal Alex Jones says they weren't really killed.3) DT doesn't weep for anyone but damn does he whine for himself.4) It's spelled "mettle" you inmate-killing, cosplaying fascist twit.
OBAMA would have been found in a closet SOBBING if he had to deal with ESTABLISHMENT’S attacks. @realDonaldTrump has the metal to withstand.
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Jesus warns us not to trust people who pray in public so they can be seen doing so in Matthew 6:5.
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Tulsi when you’re done calling Hillary Clinton a warmonger, Assad is ready for his foot massage.
JUST IN: Gabbard blasts "queen of warmongers" Clinton for suggesting Russia's grooming her to run as third-party candidate
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Roy Moore:.-said America was "great" when we had slaves.-rejects the US Constitution for theocracy.-calls Native Americans "reds & yellows".-claimed 9/11 was God's punishment.-says homosexuality = bestiality.-has sex w/kids. Alabama GOP: taking the "Christ" out of Christianity.
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Good Lord, people. One more time. 1. "Born in the USA" is NOT a patriotism song. 2. "Hallelujah" is NOT a Christmas song. And for the love of God.3. "Perfect Day" is NOT a wedding song.
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Hi, we're Hobby Lobby. We outsourced manufacturing to a country w/forced abortions but won't cover female employee IUD, cos we're pro-life.
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BREAKING: Venezuelan Christian refugees illegally trafficked by Ron DeSantis warmly welcomed by every Martha's Vineyard restaurant that turns away Alan Dershowitz.
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If your Church preaches prejudice, it’s already quit Jesus.
If your church celebrates pride, leave and find a new one.
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One time for Halloween I dressed up as the GOP's Health Care plan. I never made it out of the House.
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If you're a man who's outraged over a Gillette ad that encourages men to not be horrible selfish pricks PLEASE let the rest of us know who you are.
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This would mean none of Trump's kids could vote and Trump couldn't either.
If only people with at least 4 grandparents born in America were voting, Trump would win in a 50-state landslide.
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The movie "Grease" is 43 year old today. Which means it's old enough to play a teenager in "Grease.".
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Merrick Garland is a reminder that the only POTUS ever denied an up/down vote on a SCOTUS nom was also the only black POTUS. Not saying Mitch McConnell is racist for obstructing. Just saying Mitch should have to defend why it wasn't racist, every day, for the rest of his life.
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People who cheered Trump for defunding Planned Parenthood are now cheering him for meeting w/a govt that forces women to have abortions. #TrumpKimSummit.
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Stephen Miller is proof that only in America could a young Jewish boy grow up to be a Nazi.
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If your party can devolve, in 70 yrs, from Ike to Nixon to Reagan to W to DT, don't act all surprised when Kid Rock shows up.
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Proof that a govt wall won't stop lawless invading illegals
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Never forget, Trump fired Flynn for lying 2 weeks after Trump fired Sally Yates for telling the truth.
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Good to know it's ok for 17 year old black males to now open-carry AR-15s to events they disagree with.
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Mike Pence flying across the country so he could be offended is like the guy who watches gay porn to remind himself of how much he hates it.
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Gerrymandering = cheating.Russia hacks = cheating.Using stolen emails = cheating.Merrick Garland = cheating.7% of Kavanaugh records = cheating.Voter ID laws = cheating.Slaveowners' electoral college = cheating.Kemp keeps 53k (70% black) GA ppl from voting = weapons-grade cheating.
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Good to know Donald Trump is totally cool with Americans flying flags at full-staff once he’s dead.
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