Jill Morris
@JillMorris
Followers
7K
Following
13K
Media
451
Statuses
11K
Onion contributor. Funny or Die. McSweeney's. Upright Citizens Brigade alum. Angelyne’s campaign manager for CA gov.
Brooklyn, NY
Joined April 2009
I hit a landmark. 69 followers on Bluesky. Please nobody follow me so it stays this number forever.
1
0
0
Not surprised Trump and his people are assaulting America. It is a pretty young country.
0
0
0
I’d be safer in a frat house than hanging out with the next admin.
0
0
4
I saw The Apprentice in theaters before the election. The woman next to me cried nonstop during the last 20 minutes. Anyway, I bet she’s fine now!
0
0
0
Has America tried pinning the Constitution to the top of its profile?
0
0
0
Is it a red flag if you're dating a serial killer, and he only wants to kill other people?
0
1
1
Not worried about nuclear war because I think I’d look better with three tits.
0
0
0
Maybe now that Dr. Oz is in charge of Medicaid and Medicare, they'll finally start covering the vacuum dust he sells as a supplement.
0
0
3
If I’m not the most popular person in my camp, I’m joining the fascists.
0
0
3
Your honor, my client is innocent because I assume everything is my fault.
0
0
0
Two happy creatures back in October. Georgia has not let the election affect her mood.
0
0
6
Of course. The details would be too arousing for Republicans to handle.
Speaker Mike Johnson says he will request the House Ethics Committee not release a report on allegations related to Trump attorney general pick Matt Gaetz
0
0
0
Well, why are teenagers allowed to be that age, anyway?
Debbie Wasserman Schultz: "Most parents wouldn't trust Matt Gaetz with their teenager, nevermind with our entire system of justice."
0
0
0
I would speak out against the removal of the Department of Education, but I don’t want to end up on the Department of Re-Education’s radar.
0
0
2
Getting pretty sick of this sleep paralysis demon climbing on top of me every night and never asking me to be his gf.
1
0
1
Hello! The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars. We're planning on making a very stupid website. We've retained some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull it off. I can't wait to show you what we cooked up. https://t.co/nGvkF6kUC3
nytimes.com
The satirical news site intends to turn Infowars into a parody of itself. But the court overseeing the bankruptcy put a hold on the sale pending a hearing next week.
180
1K
5K
3K
5K
34K