J
@JayHedgesss
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Congrats to my ex
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Tbf a good actor never forgets his lines 👀
Stranger Things actor Charlie Heaton 'caught with cocaine' at US airport...
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For April fools I replaced my mums Splenda with cocaine.. she didn't even seem mad, she seemed really really happy
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My family are so laid back but if you talk over a question on the chase you're out on the street
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4 headphone jacks but the camera still takes pictures like crime watch 1999
Galaxy S8 now has 4 headphone jacks as an obvious middle finger to Apple
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Love this time of year when you can stop telling yourself to sort your life out & can just put it off till the new year
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Me: it was only a crisp you can still carry on with your diet
Me: nah sack the whole week off & try again next Monday
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Tuesday's nearly over so it's basically Wednesday & thats only 1 day until the day before Friday
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Uno when you fully commit to a verse in a full car but sing it wrong so you gotta exit the car and the country & start a new life
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Imagine falling in love with someone then finding out they put 30 hashtags on their insta pic
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When your diet was meant to start today but you had a biscuit at lunch so now you've gotta wait till next Monday to try again
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Imagine if Megan was ur gf and you turned up at Maccys at 10.31 and they said no more breakfast
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Do you ever get out the bath & just sit there in your towel for 4 years
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London* ain't nobody tryna hear that brumm accent
A study has confirmed that British people have the world's sexiest accents.
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“You’ll never find anyone like me again”
First of all, that’s the point.
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All white people are responsible for the idiot nazi's? Fuck off you moron, that's like saying all muslims are responsible for terrorism🤦🏼♂️
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Funny when girls put 'must have banter' in their tinder bio but when you chat to them they're drier than a fucking Jacobs cream cracker
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Don’t recognise the face, but that tongue rings a bell
Bizarre act captured on CCTV - Roberto Daniel Arroyo was caught licking a doorbell for three hours.
Get the full story here:
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Does anyone else have like 40 pages open on their safari of things you say you'll get to but never do
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I swear girls use their mates birthday to post old good photos of themselves
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When you take the neighbours package for them when they’re out
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Lindsay Logan has converted to Islam.. soon she will change her name to Lindsay NoHam
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@haych_1a
@KidMansa
@AbuBanter
£16.6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666
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When you start a new box set & can’t tell if it’s good yet
Ever stuck between wanting to give up n wanting to keep trying???? Like u don’t want to give up but u don’t want to waste time??
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But if it’s a wasp fucking kill it
If a bee lands on you, instead of panicking, appreciate the possibility that you got confused for a flower. Life is all about perception. It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.
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Literally no one
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Me after 3 drinks
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When you have to make the decision to either roast to death or open the window & do a bush tucker trial
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Can’t be that bad he was stood perfectly still
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When you wake up with a cringey snapchat story and 80 people have already seen it 🙃
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Do u ever go back to the fridge hoping good food has suddenly appeared
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Gonna have to start wearing a go pro when I go clubbing to remember what I get up to
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Imagine falling in love with someone then finding out they share 8 videos on fb a day
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The wifi has been off for 10 days & it's just been fixed, I feel like I've just been rescued from the Forrest
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When you ask your bird what her password is and she says my birthday
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Riots if they didn’t
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When u try convince yourself you're not depressed that Monday mornings around the corner
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If you graduate from uni without posting it on Facebook do u even graduate?
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*Ebola joke*
everyone laughs
*AIDS joke*
everyone laughs
*Cancer joke*
wtf is wrong with you? people die of Cancer!
-our stupid society
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Do u ever go on Asos to buy a top & end up buying like £350 worth of clothes?
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Legit just spent 10 minutes in sainsburys tryna decide between chocolate fudge brownie & cookie dough ice cream
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The range of music on my spotify library ranges from Stevie Wonder 'isn't she lovely' to Ice Cube 'gangsta rap made me do it'..
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Do you ever get out the bath and then just sit in your towel for 3 years
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It takes me like 3 hours to watch a programme when I'm hungover bc I keep zoning out & having to rewind it
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Why do some females think it is still acceptable to be bright orange. Stop it
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