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Justin Allen Profile
Justin Allen

@Jallen_Town

Followers
1,057
Following
730
Media
2,283
Statuses
30,979

Wife guy to @bridgetallen915 . Human dad to Margo and Ellie. Dog dad to Rosalita and Jolene. IT Student. Made SC Top 10 once.

Joined February 2014
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
28 days
A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE HAPPENED IN THE MIDDLE OF MY VASECTOMY
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 months
RIP to “The Star”
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@RollingStone
Rolling Stone
3 months
Toby Keith, country music’s brash, patriotic songwriter, has died at 62.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
My mother-in-law said she went to Ash Wednesday mass and because of Covid they couldn’t touch people’s heads with the ashes so they had the ashes in a Parmesan cheese shaker and just shook it in her face. This will be the only thing I think about today.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
2 years
My 6.5 month old daughter has had a great run of Philly sports in her short lifetime: -Never seen the Phillies miss the postseason -Never seen the Eagles lose -Never seen Ben Simmons in a Sixers jersey -Never seen the Flyers
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
The year is 2018 and there are literally thousands of people in dog masks chanting "big dick Nick" in the middle of Broad Street. God bless this city.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
The Rangers should activate Tony DeAngelo tonight so he can finally have his shot at taking down a Capital.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 months
@liveonthatswing Ethan Hawke
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
28 days
@DUDEwipes Are you serious??? 😂
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
In honor of opening day tomorrow, what is your favorite baseball tweet? I don’t think I’ll ever get over this one.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
Phillies fans: WE WANT MIKE MINOR Phillies: you guys like anagrams?
@Phillies
Philadelphia Phillies
5 years
#Phillies have acquired RHP Mike Morin from the Minnesota Twins in exchange for cash considerations.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
Embiid dunking on Boban the first night of No Nut November
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
I don't know if I'm being extreme, but I feel like Chip Kelly should retroactively be given the death penalty for ever cutting DeSean Jackson
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
8 years
Waitress: how did everything turn out? ME: It's incredible. Embiid is going to be a star. It's all been worth it. Waitress: and the wings?
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
Some Philadelphia icons just came up our block
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
This Philly housing Facebook group is wild
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
2 years
Bryce dropping a “shit” is the Mormon equivalent of a 40 day bender
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
I just bro hugged @mikescott in Center City. So happy to have him back.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
One time I nominated the Adrian Peterson that played for the Bears in an auction draft and watched the bids go up over $50 before people realized it was the wrong AP. Anyways, I got banned from that league and no one has spoken to me since.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
Jason Kelce's speech was Chase Utley on acid
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
8 years
This is still the greatest thing ever done by @tombrodude
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
Yes, Meek is my favorite Disney character as well.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
Me to anyone who overreacted to the Jimmy Butler post
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
GUYS. I FINALLY RAN INTO JASON SEGEL.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
I'm watching my roommate watch himself on Judge Judy and it's the most amazing thing ever
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
...for blood
@PompeyOnSixers
Keith Pompey
6 years
Joel Embiid is officially OUT
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
2 years
*to the tune of New York, New York by Frank Sinatra* 🎵 START GREASING THE POLES 🎵
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
Just want to clear the record that I was at home watching the Sixers game last night and NOT standing behind this dickhead
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
I just want Meek to get out so he can perform Dreams and Nightmares in the locker room before the Super Bowl.
@ComplexMusic
Complex Music
6 years
New court documents could prove Meek Mill's judge was biased:
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
Lots of people making fun of PA saying that we can’t even decide on a side in the Wawa vs Sheetz debate, so we shouldn’t decide a very important election. But America is all about nuance and the gas tastes the same at both places.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
This dude is holding up his donut for the Simba Cam
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
Officially a #WifeGuy now
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
Kid on the subway told me he would NOT have drafted Markelle Fultz if he had seen all this coming. Buddy, that kind of thinking will get you a head coaching interview with the Browns.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
When I was a freshman in high school, I skipped school and brought a lawn chair to the mall so that I could be at the front of the line to meet Brian Dawkins. When he arrived, he told me I should not have skipped school.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
Wearing this hoodie today that's been too small since the day I got it. Down 14 lbs and several belt loops.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
8 years
Get you a man that can do both
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
This is why sports journalism absolutely sucks. Everyone would rather be first than actually be informed.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
Went looking for seashells and found a wife instead!
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
Good morning. Hit a milestone last night. I am now invincible.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
2 years
Okay now we’re definitely winning. SAID!
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
2 years
@edsbs I think I remember hearing he tossed a Budweiser out the driver’s window
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
@KevinCManahan hi, I have a lot of experience as a sportswriter and zero interest in a stipend...where do I submit my letter telling you to kiss my whole ass
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
7 years
We get to watch the 2nd comings of Olajuwon (Embiid), Magic (Simmons), and Jordan (McConnell) all on the same squad. It's insane.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
@keiopensdoors @SinceThe80s wondering what the compensation for this position is? my experience account is full, thanks.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
@2LarryJohnson7 I hope you're at least finding some cool shit being that far in the closet
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
@AdamSchefter @jimcramer I still have to worry about my wife's Thursday night fantasy. It involves her personal trainer Paul.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
Starting a new job today and I get to work remotely and spend more time with my wife and dog and make more money and do more rewarding work and it isn’t a dead end job for once and everything about it is just so good.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
So basically, if this album were a girl, Jesse Lacey would be attracted to it.
@BrandNewArchive
Brand New Archive
6 years
Deja Entendu was released on this day 15 years ago.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
8 years
Jaworski floater is goooooooood
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
Here’s the thing: there was no audio on the review, so you could not hear HP umpire Alfonso Marquez yell “THE PLATE IS LAVA” Bohm heard this and reacted accordingly. Thus, he was awarded a run. The “plate is lava” rule can be found in baseball’s extensive unwritten rule book.
@Buster_ESPN
Buster Olney
3 years
It's important that MLB come out today with a statement saying the pivotal review in ATL last night was incorrect. There is no evidence that Alec Bohm touched home plate. None.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
Can’t wait for all the fellas to be wearing these hats when we can gather safely
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
2 years
@BrooklynNetcast Man, lemme tell you about the new guy you acquired
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
If Didi Gregorious can wear a mask and hit a dinger off future Hall of Famer Max Scherzer, you can wear one for 15 minutes at Target
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
The source is the school nurse at Malvern Prep, who was hosting Lebron's kid on a visit
@jasonmyrt
Jason Myrtetus
5 years
Source: Carson Wentz has had a fracture in his back but was not made aware of the results of the scan. Some players are aware of the situation and what I am told this has caused a huge issue internally.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
Hello, I am down 20+ lbs as of this morning and no longer feel like the human embodiment of a Big Dogs shirt.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
In somewhat of an under-the-radar trade deadline move, @bridgetallen915 and I have acquired some help for Spring Training 2022. We are looking forward to this little boy or girl joining the team. #ThereMightBeCryingInBaseball
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
I think this might be the longest I’ve gone since I was 15 or 16. It’s been relatively easy with places not really being open, but I’m happy and I’m confident I can keep it going.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
I'm dying @SwaggyMitch
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
Don’t even bother showing up tonight @WashWizards
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
@AdamSchefter Both have more kids than Dak Prescott has TD passes since Week 13 of last season
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
28 days
🤔
@kelsaywhat
kelsey weekman
28 days
i miss buzzfeed news cuz we would be reaching out to the guy who was getting a vasectomy during the earthquake right now
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
2 years
@UKPhillies You live here now
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
THIS IS THE SIXERS EQUIVALENT OF THE PEE TAPE
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
What percentage Irish am I? Well, I'm "wow, it looks like you got lots of sun. Where did you go?" after attending a 60 degree Phillies game in March percentage Irish
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
There's a dude at City Hall belting "Ave Maria" very out of key while clipping his fingernails into a trash can
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
7 years
Joe Douglas looks like he's about to throw someone's ass out of the club
@LesBowen
Les Bowen
7 years
Howie Roseman and Joe Douglas. Howie opens with Connor Barwin tribute
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
I made @BridgetCReed take a back to school picture of me since I’m going back to work for the first time in over 3 months
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
A massive sinkhole just opened up in the middle of Broad Street and now I'm certain the world is actually ending
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
Honestly, fuck the NCAA and all of its horseshit transfer rules too. If a coach can leave within 2 weeks of being hired, players should be granted free agency. Fuck all that loyalty stuff these coaches preach.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
None of the local networks are carrying the mummers this year, but you can still follow them through Citizen alerts.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
Mets fans thinking they were going to win with the bases loaded
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
@Buster_ESPN beat this deal right this instant @Phillies
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
The Boss Baby grew up to do racisms and get his ass beat by a professional athlete
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
8 years
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
I bought my dream guitar today as an early 30th birthday present to myself. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
@pedroiar @BryanBorg12 or if you use a photo service like Getty or AP, that's the first image for Brandon Browner since it was from the Super Bowl.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
@BNightengale Anything that's ever been said or done to Angel Hernandez is totally warranted
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
I just assumed this was how people dress for church
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
3 years
Fourth Eye Blind
@keithedwards
Keith Edwards
3 years
name this pop duo
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
@GJRockies would you rather pitch a ball or pitch a tent?
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
7 years
@TSNBobMcKenzie any rumors on Jahlil Okafor yet, Bob?
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
2 years
@ReadingFightins I saw him eat a baseball
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
GUYSSSSSSS I GET MARRIED TODAY IN LOVE PARK TO @BridgetCReed AND I CANT WAIT
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
2 years
Happy thanksgiving, folks. I’ve got a lot to be thankful for this year. A lovely wife, a daughter on the way, and today marks a full year sober. Celebrating with a nice cold Stewart’s, some turkey, all the sides, and lots of love.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
Win or lose, watching an Eagles game with @shamus_clancy is a spiritual experience
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
5 years
"...but what if I say it while singing along to a rap song?"
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
7 years
Reminder: Team USA beat Trinidad and Tobago 12-2 in the Junior Goodwill Games under coach Gordon Bombay.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
4 years
I’m far more terrified by the locals living out their wannabe cop fantasies, pacing around the neighborhood with weapons, than any of the looters or protesters. They’re the domestic terrorists here.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
2 years
Good morning. Astros are going out like Stan Chera. Phillies in 5.
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@Jallen_Town
Justin Allen
6 years
@ashleyfeinberg the guy who spends the majority of his time on Twitter defending Jerry Sandusky and saying he did nothing wrong wants to recruit a 15 year old? Hard pass.
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