Justin Allen
@Jallen_Town
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Wife guy to @bridgetallen915 . Human dad to Margo and Ellie. Dog dad to Rosalita and Jolene. IT Student. Made SC Top 10 once.
Joined February 2014
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A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE HAPPENED IN THE MIDDLE OF MY VASECTOMY
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RIP to “The Star”
Toby Keith, country music’s brash, patriotic songwriter, has died at 62.
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My mother-in-law said she went to Ash Wednesday mass and because of Covid they couldn’t touch people’s heads with the ashes so they had the ashes in a Parmesan cheese shaker and just shook it in her face.
This will be the only thing I think about today.
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My 6.5 month old daughter has had a great run of Philly sports in her short lifetime:
-Never seen the Phillies miss the postseason
-Never seen the Eagles lose
-Never seen Ben Simmons in a Sixers jersey
-Never seen the Flyers
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The year is 2018 and there are literally thousands of people in dog masks chanting "big dick Nick" in the middle of Broad Street. God bless this city.
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The Rangers should activate Tony DeAngelo tonight so he can finally have his shot at taking down a Capital.
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In honor of opening day tomorrow, what is your favorite baseball tweet?
I don’t think I’ll ever get over this one.
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Phillies fans: WE WANT MIKE MINOR
Phillies: you guys like anagrams?
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Embiid dunking on Boban the first night of No Nut November
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I don't know if I'm being extreme, but I feel like Chip Kelly should retroactively be given the death penalty for ever cutting DeSean Jackson
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Waitress: how did everything turn out?
ME: It's incredible. Embiid is going to be a star. It's all been worth it.
Waitress: and the wings?
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Bryce dropping a “shit” is the Mormon equivalent of a 40 day bender
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One time I nominated the Adrian Peterson that played for the Bears in an auction draft and watched the bids go up over $50 before people realized it was the wrong AP. Anyways, I got banned from that league and no one has spoken to me since.
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I'm watching my roommate watch himself on Judge Judy and it's the most amazing thing ever
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...for blood
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*to the tune of New York, New York by Frank Sinatra*
🎵 START GREASING THE POLES 🎵
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Just want to clear the record that I was at home watching the Sixers game last night and NOT standing behind this dickhead
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I just want Meek to get out so he can perform Dreams and Nightmares in the locker room before the Super Bowl.
New court documents could prove Meek Mill's judge was biased:
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Lots of people making fun of PA saying that we can’t even decide on a side in the Wawa vs Sheetz debate, so we shouldn’t decide a very important election. But America is all about nuance and the gas tastes the same at both places.
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Kid on the subway told me he would NOT have drafted Markelle Fultz if he had seen all this coming. Buddy, that kind of thinking will get you a head coaching interview with the Browns.
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When I was a freshman in high school, I skipped school and brought a lawn chair to the mall so that I could be at the front of the line to meet Brian Dawkins. When he arrived, he told me I should not have skipped school.
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Wearing this hoodie today that's been too small since the day I got it. Down 14 lbs and several belt loops.
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This is why sports journalism absolutely sucks. Everyone would rather be first than actually be informed.
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Good morning. Hit a milestone last night. I am now invincible.
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@KevinCManahan
hi, I have a lot of experience as a sportswriter and zero interest in a stipend...where do I submit my letter telling you to kiss my whole ass
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We get to watch the 2nd comings of Olajuwon (Embiid), Magic (Simmons), and Jordan (McConnell) all on the same squad. It's insane.
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@keiopensdoors
@SinceThe80s
wondering what the compensation for this position is? my experience account is full, thanks.
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@AdamSchefter
@jimcramer
I still have to worry about my wife's Thursday night fantasy. It involves her personal trainer Paul.
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Starting a new job today and I get to work remotely and spend more time with my wife and dog and make more money and do more rewarding work and it isn’t a dead end job for once and everything about it is just so good.
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So basically, if this album were a girl, Jesse Lacey would be attracted to it.
Deja Entendu was released on this day 15 years ago.
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Here’s the thing: there was no audio on the review, so you could not hear HP umpire Alfonso Marquez yell “THE PLATE IS LAVA”
Bohm heard this and reacted accordingly. Thus, he was awarded a run.
The “plate is lava” rule can be found in baseball’s extensive unwritten rule book.
It's important that MLB come out today with a statement saying the pivotal review in ATL last night was incorrect. There is no evidence that Alec Bohm touched home plate. None.
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Can’t wait for all the fellas to be wearing these hats when we can gather safely
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If Didi Gregorious can wear a mask and hit a dinger off future Hall of Famer Max Scherzer, you can wear one for 15 minutes at Target
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The source is the school nurse at Malvern Prep, who was hosting Lebron's kid on a visit
Source: Carson Wentz has had a fracture in his back but was not made aware of the results of the scan. Some players are aware of the situation and what I am told this has caused a huge issue internally.
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Hello, I am down 20+ lbs as of this morning and no longer feel like the human embodiment of a Big Dogs shirt.
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In somewhat of an under-the-radar trade deadline move,
@bridgetallen915
and I have acquired some help for Spring Training 2022. We are looking forward to this little boy or girl joining the team.
#ThereMightBeCryingInBaseball
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I think this might be the longest I’ve gone since I was 15 or 16. It’s been relatively easy with places not really being open, but I’m happy and I’m confident I can keep it going.
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@JeffSkversky
@6abc
@JawsCEOQB
@Eaglesfans9
@BleedingGreen
@NFL_Stats
@NFLRT
@FieldYates
@InsideIggles
@AlbertBreer
This looks like a set of mugshots of people who stormed the Capitol
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@AdamSchefter
Both have more kids than Dak Prescott has TD passes since Week 13 of last season
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🤔
i miss buzzfeed news cuz we would be reaching out to the guy who was getting a vasectomy during the earthquake right now
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What percentage Irish am I?
Well, I'm "wow, it looks like you got lots of sun. Where did you go?" after attending a 60 degree Phillies game in March percentage Irish
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There's a dude at City Hall belting "Ave Maria" very out of key while clipping his fingernails into a trash can
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Joe Douglas looks like he's about to throw someone's ass out of the club
Howie Roseman and Joe Douglas. Howie opens with Connor Barwin tribute
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I made
@BridgetCReed
take a back to school picture of me since I’m going back to work for the first time in over 3 months
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A massive sinkhole just opened up in the middle of Broad Street and now I'm certain the world is actually ending
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Honestly, fuck the NCAA and all of its horseshit transfer rules too. If a coach can leave within 2 weeks of being hired, players should be granted free agency. Fuck all that loyalty stuff these coaches preach.
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None of the local networks are carrying the mummers this year, but you can still follow them through Citizen alerts.
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Mets fans thinking they were going to win with the bases loaded
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The Boss Baby grew up to do racisms and get his ass beat by a professional athlete
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I bought my dream guitar today as an early 30th birthday present to myself. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.
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@pedroiar
@BryanBorg12
or if you use a photo service like Getty or AP, that's the first image for Brandon Browner since it was from the Super Bowl.
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Fourth Eye Blind
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Happy thanksgiving, folks. I’ve got a lot to be thankful for this year. A lovely wife, a daughter on the way, and today marks a full year sober. Celebrating with a nice cold Stewart’s, some turkey, all the sides, and lots of love.
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"...but what if I say it while singing along to a rap song?"
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Reminder: Team USA beat Trinidad and Tobago 12-2 in the Junior Goodwill Games under coach Gordon Bombay.
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I’m far more terrified by the locals living out their wannabe cop fantasies, pacing around the neighborhood with weapons, than any of the looters or protesters. They’re the domestic terrorists here.
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Good morning. Astros are going out like Stan Chera. Phillies in 5.
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@ashleyfeinberg
the guy who spends the majority of his time on Twitter defending Jerry Sandusky and saying he did nothing wrong wants to recruit a 15 year old? Hard pass.
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