Jack Tindale
@JackTindale
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Freelance Bernard Woolley Impersonator.
London | Barnsley | he/him
Joined January 2010
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The British Problems subreddit is usually absolutely dire but this one is utterly pitch perfect and I’ve never felt more sorry for someone.
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One of my favourite things in The Death of Stalin is that they actually lowered the number of medals Jason Isaacs wore when he was playing Zhukov because the amount he wore in real life just looked comically absurd.
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This photo of Chinese police and and medical staff dealing with the Coronavirus in the Altai mountains is entirely my aesthetic.
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Love how we argue about the Mediterranean diet, or Japanese supercentenarians from a remote village in Kyushu who do callisthenics at sunrise, and yet the oldest man in the world is a scouser called John who has fish and chips once a week.
Liverpool-born John Tinniswood is officially the world’s oldest man at 111 years and 223 days according to
@GWR
The previous title holder died in Venezuela on Tuesday aged 114.John who lives at The Hollies rest home in
#Southport
attributes his longevity to his Friday chippy tea!
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I do like when Greece was under the junta they literally did the Hearts of Iron thing where they just make the normal flag a shade darker to show that the country is evil now.
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Japan will have a political party set up by an ultranationalist author who wants to restore the divine right of the Emperor and invade Korea whilst having the 😌 emoji for a logo.
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Who is the best modern role model men have for masculinity right now?
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I say this a lot but there’s a small but very vocal (almost exclusively online) section of the left who think that socialism means getting unlimited free stuff and having no public obligations whatsoever.
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Going to the British Museum this afternoon, anyone want anything?
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Firmly believe that the closure of so many pubs, especially in rural areas, is behind a lot of the radicalisation of so many young men.
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Sorry, but in a million years I could never have come up with Keith Arsewank as a parody name for an American conservative. Too implausible.
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If anyone is upset about their A-Levels, don't worry, mine were brilliant and thirteen years later I'm a mid-ranking civil servant living in a creaky shared house with a collection of anime figurines.
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I would simply fake my death and become a goat herder in Tajikistan.
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Why would you do this when having the chance to do Oppenheimer Bath Bombs was RIGHT THERE?!
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When it's a Tuesday night and you've remembered that the Chancellor's given you a discount at Pizza Express.
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Hi Carole. I work for Dominic Cummings and Arron Banks. NHS Nightingale is actually a top-secret research facility where we are killing the patients and harvesting their stem cells to create the first tranche of British Evangelions. Boris can’t stop us because he’s dead.
What is happening inside NHS Nightingale?? There’s been nothing but total silence
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Still can't believe I've lived in central London for fourteen years and I have yet to bump into a team from The Apprentice flogging shit halloumi fries for £9 a punnet.
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the level of delusion needed to get the most specific category in nyt connections is actually driving me insane
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Wetherspoons are opening up a massive pub at Waterloo Station, one floor up from the equally massive Brewdog. This unfortunately represents the only two types of pub that will exist in two decades and, with regret, I have to support Team Spoons.
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WATCH IT ALL HERE ALL OF THE TIME FOREVER! IT WILL NEVER STOP! THE BREXIT IS OFFICIALLY GOING ON FOREVER! IT WILL NEVER BE FINALLY DECIDED WHO HAS WON THE BREXIT! THERE IS STILL FOREVER TO DISCUSS FOR AND FOREVER TO DISCUSS IT IN!
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Properly lost it at the front page of the Danish Government's website.
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Why is David Miliband speaking in doge?
Wow. So good Labour stronger. So good Brutal Brexit rejected. So good next generation realized the stakes and spoke up.
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Someone has done a great map of some of the short-lived states that emerged during the Russian Civil War.
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Andy Burnham has apparently announced for a Greater Manchester Combined Authority Death Star.
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I think it says a lot about the Id and Ego of the United Kingdom that our two most successful businesses are this and Games Workshop.
OnlyFans' 2022 financials are bonkers
- $5.6B in GMV (+17% y/y)
- $1.1B in revenue (+17% y/y)
- $525M in pre-tax profit (48% profit margin)
- 3.1M creators on the platform (+47% y/y)
- $338M in dividends paid out to owner
Likely the most successful "creator economy" company
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Someone pointed out to me that Grant Shapps looks like if Robert Webb played Mark instead of Jez on Peep Show and I just can't unsee it.
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I am at the Yevgeny Prigozhin crash site, in Tver Oblast.
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You absolutely will not be able to begin how odd this gets.
I can only assume that somewhere through the making of season five of The Crown, Peter Morgan was hit on the head by a small toffee hammer.
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STOP CALLING PODCASTS 'THE REST IS [INSERT NOUN]' THAT ISN'T HOW THE PHRASE WORKS
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Ninety minutes with his non-verbal autistic son, two hours on Total War Saga: Throne of Britannia, set in 878 AD. 10/10 Partridge.
Catching up on Gregg Wallace’s magnificently Partridgian My Saturday.
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Obsessed with this photo of Brezhnev going hunting - it's worthy of any le Carré.
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I like how he’s taken a photo of this from what is presumably a small aircraft on a hugely polluting domestic flight.
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Every single white left of centre man in London this morning.
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This man is going to lead the Saxony-Anhalt branch of the FDP to a commendable 3 percent of the vote in the next Landtagswahl.
Has a man ever looked more ran through than Daniel Craig wearing these glasses
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- Congratulations Mrs Pooser, it’s a boy. What do you want to call hi-
- Wankard.
- …
- Wankard Pooser.
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SYLVANIAN FAMILIES AKIRA BIKE SLIDE
Screech! Avril comes to a sudden stop. 🚲
“The brakes work!” she confirms.
She’s checking the brakes on her bicycle. 🚲
It’s always important to check your bicycle to make sure everything’s working properly!
#safety
#bike
#sylvanianfamilies
#sylvanianfamily
#sylvanian
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“At the time of the alleged break-in, I was at a Toby Carvery in Basingstoke.”
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How can a logo - in isolation - look so much like the very concept of 1988?
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Fortunately, Eric diffused a potentially embarrassing situation by explaining that he’d actually just subscribed to a hardcore pornographic website.
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Philip Lee resigning only to end up abstaining is hands down the best metaphor for the modern Conservative Party I can think of.
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There are known drones; there are drones we know we know. We also know there are known undrones; that is to say we know there are some drones we do not know. But there are also unknown undrones - the drones we don't know we don't know.
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RETVRN TO TRADITION
Historians on twitter need to stop being whiny bitches and just rediscover the 'awsome' factor when learning/teaching history
Yeah maybe knights and castles is a better way to approach history than a grim depressed "everyone suffered and hated it" approach.
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Just imagine being the sort of person to tell one of the country's most prominent historians to use Wikipedia.
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The platform: We must rebuild the indomitable spirit of Yamato, eradicate the corrupt and yellow bellied cowards of the body politic, cast off the pathetic injustices of the post-war constitution and reclaim our birthright in Manchukuo.
The person:
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I increasingly do think that the Midwest is what happens if you combine the typical Yorkshire person with a per capita income three times higher.
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The official page for HM The King's Coronation is now live.
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BREAKING: Greggs has emerged victorious in a legal battle over their ability to serve late-night sausage rolls and steak bakes to Londoners at their Leicester Square flagship.
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The fetishisation of thrift as a moral positive rather than a response to a lack of growth and policy failure isn’t unique to the UK but it certainly seems more acute here.
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Thought I could handle the list of attendees for the funeral but I am afraid even I couldn't handle "The Prince of Venice".
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At least Spoons actually do sort of feel like real pubs, whereas Brewdog is like drinking in a fucking WeWork.
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British children are able to purchase these little confectionary mosques at any corner shop.
#foxnewsfacts
http://t.co/hDcMYpvT8i
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An underrated element of British road safety is that the UK Driving Test is very difficult (which is a good thing!).
Sometimes I think British car crash death rates are horrendous... then I remember how grisly the situation is in the US, where the incentives are all lined up for it to get ever bloodier
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Karen Bradley looks like a mid-ranking police officer from Malmö who is having to give a statement after the sixth torso that month has been found bobbing around the canal.
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This photo of Anna Soubry looks like Jennifer Saunders playing Theresa May.
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Wow, OK, unfollowing now. Was a big fan of his critique of western culture, didn’t realize he was a nepo baby. :/
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If there’s a joint ticket between Lisa Nandy and the Shadow Brexit Secretary you could call it the Road to Wigan/Keir.
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"The Rest Is History" is allowed to do this because that's actually a thing people say. You're just too lazy to come up with your own tenuous pun you boring centrist maniacs.
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"THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF BREXIT, EACH MORE CLIMATIC THAN THE LAST! CONTANT, DIZZYING, TWENTY-FOUR HOUR, YEARLONG, ENDLESS BREXIT. EVERY PARLIAMENTARY VOTE OF IT MASSIVELY MATTERING TO SOMEONE, PRESUMABLY."
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Look, I love high-spreed rail and the Shinkansen in particular but even I think it would be a waste of money to built a railway bridge that randomly stopped in the middle of the North Sea.
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Will never forgive Macmillian.
What is a genuinely sad political moment? (Not including assassinations or wars).
I'll go first.
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Paying tax, buying things and having a stake in the maintenance of the state used to be considered a good thing.
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There's some dark humour that the only MP to have been dislodged so far by Chris Williamson's Democracy Roadshow is Chris Williamson.
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Eric Idle was born in South Shields on 29th March 1943, four days after the last recorded bombing raid in the area.
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I like all the lads going “oh, if conscription was brought back, I’m quite techy, I’d probably go in the Intelligence Corps” when the reality would be “here’s a saucepan and a Lee-Enfield. Now stand in this field and draw artillery fire away from other, more important soldiers.”
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I know she's just being stupid on purpose now but even by her standards this is literally as dry and traditional a piece of research you could possibly get?
Always wanted to know more about this. Sound £879,525 taxpayer investment.
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> be autistic at uni
> meet a posh family
> systemically destroy them
> refuse to elaborate
> dance naked
> leave
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Still by some margin the single greatest comic panel ever.
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Love the idea that there’s a little control room in Scotland Yard where expert Vexillologists are doing VAR-style analysis of whether or not a flag is dodgy.
We often get asked about different flags on display at protests and what their meaning is.
Our experts look out for offensive or proscribed flags belonging to banned groups.
The below flag seen this afternoon is a Pro Iranian Monarchy flag & does not support a proscribed group.
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Automatic ban for British people who use “y’all” in tweets. You are not from Antebellum Georgia, you work in marketing and have annoying views on brownfield development.
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I still think that my English devolution proposal based on quadrilateral equidistance is the only one proposed that is genuinely equitable.
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However, because it's me, the noise I made when Lazar Kaganovich appeared was frankly inhuman.
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I should hate influencer TikTok but there’s a growing tendency of people on this site to just actively hate people who look to be having any sort of fun whatsoever.
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"Do they look evil enough?"
"I was thinking the same."
"Try a blue filter."
"There we go."
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All MPs will now be allowed to run back to Westminster, the first one to touch the Despatch Box automatically becomes Prime Minister.
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Still can't get over how FiveThirtyEight uses the image on the left to represent comments being made by the man on the right.
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Get yourself a guy who works as hard as the Richard III PR team.
Unbelievable news item this morning: Philippa Langley, who led the search for the bones of Richard III, now presenting credible evidence that he did not actually kill the princes in the tower and that Edward IV's sons were smuggled off to Europe alive
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Team GB being the only ones with proper umbrellas and sheltering the Americans is real soft power.
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His Majesty should land at Calais regardless and raise the standard before moving south at haste to prevent incursions against our Habsburg allies.
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Based. Absolutely unequivocal support for this. The most anti-decline policy I have seen for quite some time.
𝐁𝐢𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐬: I’ll buy Scarborough’s infamous Grand Hotel. Make it grand once again. And return the town to its glory days 💪
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Quite like how the Colston Four have come dressed as each segment of the political compass.
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