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Baby Jesus Profile
Baby Jesus

@JCautomatic

Followers
12K
Following
9K
Media
625
Statuses
33K

I once donated some sperm. The man shaking the charity bucket was not impressed though.

The North
Joined November 2010
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
1 year
*write (great start.) It was was when Rob was talking about the “big dogs” that did it.
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
1 year
Hi @SharonHorgan and @robdelaney I heard Rob on the radio this morning, and it’s really inspired me to get my arse in gear and the script I’ve always wanted to. As a barber I have a zillion characters and the darkest of humour. So thank you.
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
2 years
Just made myself a “Southgate” for supper.
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
2 years
https://t.co/D2HvbEoOqf A long lost friend’s son. This is unreal!!!!
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@jasemonkey
The Jase 🐶 🎸 🎥
2 years
Morrisons Ultimate Breakfast review accompanied by a sad piccolo flute.
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
2 years
Probably the best band in the world right now. New single. Think they’ve already won. https://t.co/uzKD0LE1fo
Tweet card summary image
open.spotify.com
Paper Boats · single · 2023 · 1 songs
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
2 years
New single!! Usb stick.
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
3 years
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
3 years
Finished. Portrait of Neil Hannon.
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@jphf123456
Jim Fischer
3 years
Artwork of Neil Hannon of the @divinecomedyhq completed today by my good friend and amazing artist @JCautomatic which he has generously gifted to my wife and me as we and he are big fans of his genius music and songwriting. #Divalady #NorthEastEngland #artwork #NationalExpress
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
3 years
Bloody lovely this! https://t.co/gFLTqW9C4T
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
3 years
For a lady of a certain age.
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
3 years
Once again, these so called boffins are telling us that red wine is good for your “gut health” What a load of codswallop, I drank two and a half bottles of the stuff the other night and promptly shat myself. I will be sticking to white wine in the future. @vizcomic
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
3 years
Newcastle United, emptying stadiums since April ‘23. #nufc
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
3 years
Single of the week.
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
3 years
Old people using Apple Pay.
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
3 years
Me: Hello is that the Samaritans? Samaritans: Yes. Me: I’ve just made small talk in the supermarket. Samaritans: Sorry we don’t…….. Me: They had a big wart on their eyelid and were wearing comfortable shoes. Samaritans: I’ll put you through.
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
3 years
Weird how things that I turn off sound like @elbow songs.
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
3 years
FIND out if the people camping next to you are listening to you have sex by simply seeing if they pause Netflix when you say “up the pumper?”
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@JCautomatic
Baby Jesus
3 years
My latest art, “Heath Ledger vs Shergar” I’ve studied Dali’s horses legs for too long.
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